Page 13

Chapter Thirteen

Maggie

I 'm on my feet in an instant, eating the distance between my crafting table and the couch in seconds to reach Finn. Xavier doesn't move, his imposing body tense and radiating all the emotions I bet he's probably never once voiced out loud.

I pull Finn into my arms just as Xavier breaks out of his trance. He turns to his brother, the anger in his eyes melting into an apology—and then when they land on me, into something else entirely… Shame. Resentment. Back to anger when they take in my arms wrapped around his little brother. His entire world.

His chest lifts and tightens, then deflates on an exhale. He stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"You want to go get ice cream, Finny?" he asks.

I can feel Finn's tiny body shudder as he struggles to hold in his tears.

His voice is so soft and so uncharacteristically fragile when he answers. "Sure."

"Anything you want… Peanut Buster Parfait with extra hot fudge?" Xavier arches an eyebrow, clearly working to mask his tension as he shifts fully into damage-control mode. "Banana Split?" He cocks his head. "That's what I'm gonna get. Fully loaded." He beckons his brother with a slow jerk of his head. "C'mon, pal. Let's go gorge on late-night ice cream sundaes."

‘You're making it worse,’ I want to tell him. ‘Please don't do this,’ I want to beg. But he's doing the only thing he knows how. And for once, I'm as concerned for his feelings as I am for his brother’s. So I stay out of it. Remain quiet, rubbing lazy circles on Finn's back, between his shoulder blades .

"But I'm in my pjs," Finn says, his voice still stuttered but a little less breathy than a few seconds ago.

Xavier forces his lips into an easy grin. "Even better. Late night sundaes are the best when you're wearing your pjs."

Finn giggles, and I'm grateful to Xavier for that. "You made that up."

"I would never."

Finn giggles again, pushing himself off the couch. He glances back at me, then at his brother. "Can Maggie come too?"

Xavier's grin falls. His eyes shift to mine, the warmth suddenly gone. "Maggie's got stuff she needs to do," he says, managing to remove any inflection from his tone.

Wow. Real nice.

How can he be so sweet one second, and such a jerk the next? And why? Why is he such a jerk to me? If he loves his brother so much, and he sees that I make him happy, why wouldn't he want me to be there to help comfort Finn right now? Why is he always so intent on driving me away?

Our gazes stay locked. His jaw tightens. Mine does too.

"I need to stay and clean up that glass on the floor," I say eventually, when it's obvious Xavier is leaving it to me to come up with an excuse for why I can't join them. My eyes never leave his. "We wouldn't want anyone stepping on it and getting hurt."

Something flickers across Xavier's face; his cheek twitches. A wince, maybe? If so, I'm okay with whatever discomfort he's feeling right now.

"I can help," Finn offers.

"No way," Xavier's voice cracks through the air. He clears his throat, softens his tone. "Too dangerous."

"You go, Finny." I nudge him gently. "Someone needs to make sure Xavier doesn't chicken out of getting that fully loaded banana split."

"I never chicken out," Xavier mutters, but there's less edge to his voice now. "Let's roll." He pulls out his phone, waving it. "We can blast 'Lil Boo Thang' in the car."

"The whole way?" Finn's entire face lights up.

"On repeat."

"Yes!" Finn bounces toward the staircase, already humming the opening notes. Xavier follows, pausing at the threshold. For a moment, I think he might say something. His mouth opens slightly, closes again. Then he's gone, leaving me alone with the echo of their footsteps and the phantom sound of breaking glass. And then, three minutes later, a text:

Xavier

leave the glass. I'll deal w it when i get back. seriously. not your mess to deal with

And I don't know if I should be touched or offended. I wish you could read tone from a stupid text. Because I can't decide if he's being nice and genuinely means he's the one who smashed the glass and he doesn't expect me to clean it up, or if he's being snarky and is trying to get me to butt out. Which is the scenario I finally settle on, since, let's be honest, it's the most likely.

I still end up cleaning up the glass. Maybe because I can't stand the idea of leaving glass all over the floor, or maybe because I want to make a point.

Maybe both.

Xavier doesn't bring Finn back until way past ten o'clock. I have no idea where he took him, because you don't sit and eat sundaes for two full hours in January. And there isn't exactly a whole lot else to do with a five-year-old this late on a Thursday.

When I go to put Finn to bed shortly after I hear them come upstairs, he isn't in his room. So I knock on Xavier's closed door, but there's no answer.

I knock again.

"What?" Xavier's voice sounds tired.

I push the door open a few inches, prepared to ask Xavier where his brother is, but then I get my answer. He's lying next to him on Xavier's bed. Already fast asleep. They're both on their sides, Xave with one arm wrapped around his little brother.

"Shit." Xavier lifts up onto his elbow. "You stayed up? "

"Yes, I stayed up," I whisper. "It's way past his bedtime… I was waiting to put him to bed."

He looks genuinely confused. "You think I can't put him to bed without your help?"

I sigh. "No Xavier… Believe it or not, it wasn't about you." I fight to keep my voice down. "I was worried about Finn… I wanted to make sure he was okay."

He nods once, still looking a little baffled. A little defensive. Very tired.

"But thank you," I finish, the bite in my voice coming through despite how softly I'm speaking, "for assuming my one goal in life is to put a wedge between you and Finn."

He shifts, rolling his eyes. "Never said that."

"Oh, believe me," I tell him. "It's implied. About fifty times a day."

All I get in response is a shrug. Pretty much confirming that is exactly what he feels. At least partly.

I sigh again. Shift my gaze to Finn, his pale body tucked under his brother's protective arm, pink lips slightly parted in sleep. "How is he?" I ask. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine."

I nod. "Okay. Well… Good night."

"You didn't need to clean up the glass." His eyes meet mine, partially hooded as he looks up at me beneath his long lashes. "I told you not to do that."

"I know. I didn't mind."

He fixes his stare on my bare feet. "I was going to clean it up."

"Well, you were out, so…"

He nods. "Thanks." Then after a beat of silence, he adds, "Sorry… about the remote. Throwing it earlier."

"It's fine."

Another nod. He looks down at his brother but doesn't say anything. Just strokes a mess of curls off Finn's forehead.

"I could have taken him for a bit," I tell Xavier. "After that phone call… I wouldn't have minded. So you would have had a few minutes to breathe… Before comforting Finn."

His head snaps up. "That phone call was none of your business. "

"I know. Itisn'tany of my business. But I was there… And I care about Finn. And I'm just saying, I would have been happy to just sit with him or whatever… To do whatever might help, because it's shit having to hold in your own emotions because you have to help someone else deal with theirs."

He shifts onto his back, throwing his free arm over his face, covering his eyes. "It's shit having someone move into your house," he bites out, "who thinks they're an expert on everything about your life, when they don't know a thing about it."

I breathe out… Nod. "Yeah," I say. "That would probably be shit, too."

I step out of his room and close the door behind me.