Page 58

Chapter Fifty-Eigh t

Xavier

I rush out to my car, checking the time on my phone. Maggie should be here any minute.

Finn's still missing.

Even though I know he isn't on the property, I can't keep my eyes from scanning the gardens, then the trees.

I think I might be sick.

My hand rakes through my hair for probably the fiftieth time in the past few minutes. I'm sure it's full-on standing on end by now.

I check my phone again, just as the sound of gravel crunching under tires announces Maggie's arrival.

She pulls up to the house and jumps out.

"You haven't found him?" she calls, jogging over.

"No, I haven't fucking found him!" The words tear from my throat. "You think I'd be standing out here ready to peel out if I'd found him?" My hands shake as I yank open the driver's side door to my car. "Get in."

"We can't leave. What if Finn's—"

I cut her off, scrubbing my hand over my face. "He's not here—he's not on the property. I just checked the security cameras. He ran down the driveway…" My voice cracks. "I was just heading out to search the nearby streets. I was waiting so you can look while I drive."

"We're going to find him, Xave." She squeezes my arm.

I glance over at her as the tires squeal, and I peel down the driveway. "Thanks for coming," I say, pulling my fingers through my hair again. Then more softly, I add, "Sorry for yelling."

"It's okay." Her hand is still on my arm and she clutches my shirt. "Slow down… What if he's on the driveway?"

"He's not. I saw him on the security cameras."

The footage keeps replaying in my mind—Finn's small figure disappearing down the long driveway into the darkness. All because I was too wrapped up in my own bullshit to notice him leaving. After he threatened twice to run away.

"You focus on driving, I'll keep my eyes peeled, okay?" Maggs says.

I nod. My knuckles are white on the steering wheel as we crawl down the dimly lit road.

"Have you told your security guy? Uh, Buzz? Or told Denise?… Or anyone?"

I bite down on my lip, letting out a shaky breath. When I glance over at Maggie, her eyes are wide with concern.

"Xave? Have you told them?" She repeats.

"I can't." The words feel like glass in my throat. "Not yet… They won't let me hang out with him alone again if I tell them. If my father hears about this, he'll…" I blow out a breath and punch the steering wheel. "Fuck! You're right. I have to call Buzz."

"Breathe," Maggie says, her voice steady. "He's only been gone fifteen minutes, right? He can't be far." She shifts to face me. "Let's give it five more minutes. We'll drive down the road, and if we haven't found him by then, we'll contact Buzz."

My chest tightens at the thought of those five minutes stretching endlessly ahead. Five minutes where anything could happen to Finny. Five minutes that could change everything. Because I'm a shitty brother.

"He was looking for you," I say softly, my eyes fixed on the road ahead.

" What? "

I grip the steering wheel tighter. "He misses you… Marta's good, but Finn's still sad all the time. And he's starting to pull some of the same bullshit with her that he used to before you showed up." I resist the instinct to glance her way at th ose words. Don't want to let on I could just as easily be talking about myself right now. "He was mad tonight because I wouldn't make Play-Doh with him. I was screwing around on the guitar with this tune I've been working on… told him to give me half an hour and we'd play Air Hockey. But he was pissed because he wanted to make Play-Doh and he wanted to do it now."

My throat constricts as the memory hits me. "And then he lost his shit and said you would have made Play-Doh with him and said we don't hang out anymore and maybe you really left because of me…" I slam my palm against the wheel. "Fuck! I don't know. I don't even know, Maggs… I wasn't even totally listening." I drag in a long breath through my nose, glancing over at Maggie. The streetlights catch her pink hair, making it glow in the darkness. "What the hell am I gonna do if—"

"Stop." Maggie cuts me off, her hand settling on my chest, just above my heart. "Just breathe, okay? And slow down so I can scan properly."

I ease off the gas, even though every cell in my body screams to floor it. To tear through these streets until I find my brother. But Maggie's right. We need to be thorough. We can't risk missing him in the shadows.

"He's probably close to here."

"For the record, you're not a shitty person for not jumping up and caving to his freak-out," Maggie says, her voice soft but firm. "He was being a normal five-year-old. I ran away about ten times when I was a kid. Everyone does."

A hollow laugh escapes my throat. "Shit… It never even occurred to me."

The words barely leave my mouth when Maggie presses her arm against mine and shouts, "Stop! STOP, Xave! Pull over! He's there—by those trees."

I slam on the brakes, the tires squealing against the pavement. My hand flies to the door handle, but Maggie's fingers catch my shirt.

"Hold on. Just—wait. Listen to me for a second."

I keep pushing the door, my heart thundering in my chest. All I can think about is getting to Finn.

Maggie tugs at my arm again, harder this time. "Xave… He isn't going anywhere. He's right there."

I pause, my hand still on the handle. " What? "

"The way you handle this matters." Maggie's voice stays calm; steady. "We need to make it clear that what he did isn't okay."

"This is not the time for this shit, Maggs." I push the door again.

Her hand clamps down. "Yes. Actually, it is exactly the time. Because if you go way over the top and give him all kinds of attention and drop everything and cater to him over this, guess what he's going to do the next time he doesn't get his way?"

I freeze. Roll my lip between my teeth. "Shit."

She nods, her eyes locked on mine. "Yeah. So, here's what we're going to do. You're going to go out there and hug him tight. Tell him you were worried. But once he's in the car, you tell him what he did was not okay. That it was dangerous, and he can never do it again… because you love him, and you'd be so sad if anything ever happened to him."

My hand drops from the door handle. I nod. "Okay. Yeah, that sounds good." The tension in my shoulders eases slightly as I process her words. She's right. Of course she's right.

"And then you've got to tell him he's going straight to bed when you get home. He misses hanging out with you tonight and playing Air Hockey." Maggie's voice stays firm but gentle.

I grip the steering wheel. "But—"

"You can't waver on this, Xave. Seriously. Think long term. I know it'll be hard to see him upset—because he is going to be upset. And then he'll be pissed. But if he associates running away with negative consequences, then it'll keep him from doing it again. Which is a good thing."

My chest tightens at the thought of disappointing Finn even more tonight. But the image of him alone on a dark street somewhere farther than this ten-minute distance flashes through my mind. I relive the terror that gripped me when I realized he was gone.

She's right. No way can this happen again.

I draw in a deep breath, steadying myself. "Okay. Yeah… I can do that. "

I push open the door and jog over to where Finn sits huddled against a tree. His small form shakes in the darkness. The moment he sees me, he launches himself forward and I scoop him into my arms.

"Shhh…It's okay, Finny. I've got you." I squeeze him tighter, tucking his head under my chin, kissing his soft curls as his tears and snot soak into my shirt. "I've got you, Finny, and I'm not letting you go."