Page 32 of Entertaining the Earl (Vows in Vauxhall Gardens #2)

H e had not realized just how badly she had misinterpreted his actions.

She’d thought he was not attracted to her, when that could not have been further from the truth.

The hurt in her eyes made so much more sense now, and he hated himself yet again, and hated that she so easily believed that he did not want her.

He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.

“The only reason I said that, why I stopped, was because I could not be that man. I would not be like my father, with illegitimate children and—” He cut himself off, not wanting to ruin this moment with talk of such unsavory topics.

“Susannah. I am in love with you. I do not know when precisely I fell in love, but I am here now to tell you I have been a blind fool. You are beautiful, a rare jewel, and I wrote that story to try to convey to you exactly how I feel because I was afraid I wouldn’t have the right words to give you when we spoke.

And I wanted to make sure to tell you…” He took a deep breath.

She was looking at him like he was speaking a foreign language that she could not understand, and yet he had to finish what he was saying, had to make his feelings clear.

He dropped to his knee. “To ask if you would do me the honor, the very great honor, of becoming my wife.”

*

There was sincerity in his eyes, and yet Susannah could not believe what he was saying. It had to be some joke, some prank, a lie. There was no way a man like Lord Bourne could think she was attractive, could believe himself in love with her.

Things like that only happened in stories, not in real life.

“You cannot be in love with me,” she said with a nervous laugh.

“It just…it can’t be true. Look at me, and look at you.

We struggled enough to make people believe we were courting for a reason.

I am plain and simple, and I know that. I realize you must have an inkling of my feelings, and that is why you are here—because you are a good man—but—”

He gripped her hands tightly. “I had no notion of your feelings until this very moment, and even now I’m not clear. You told me to leave, and if you still wish me to, I will not impose my presence upon you. But if what I have said changes anything…”

Susannah felt like her cheeks were on fire. “I am sure you are aware that I have been attracted to you since the moment I first saw you.”

A smile spread across his handsome face. “I did not know that,” he said, still holding her hands tightly, still so close. “And could I dare hope that these feelings might extend beyond simple attraction?”

Susannah bit her bottom lip and tried to make sense of everything that was happening.

She knew, better than she knew anything else in her life, that she felt far more for him than mere attraction.

What she was feeling might well be love…

but if she declared it, and this was all some elaborate prank—or even if it was just Colin trying to be kind, without realizing how much it would hurt to have such hope pulled away—then she would rather keep her feelings to herself.

“You cannot be in love with me,” she repeated, struggling to maintain eye contact with him and yet unable to tear her gaze away.

Her parents would surely be wondering where she was. Perhaps they would come looking for her. And there were three gentlemen in the dining room they were expecting her to converse with and entertain and quite possibly choose from to marry.

But Colin was here, in the library, telling her words she could not believe but had longed to hear.

“I can, and I am, Susannah. You think yourself so plain and ordinary because that is what you have been told all your life. But I see the real you, and I love you. I love you —not some version of you that you are trying to display to the world, not your dowry, or your father’s connections.

I love you—and if you think there’s any chance you could love me back, I am begging you to marry me. ”

And with such a heartfelt declaration, what could she do but agree?

“If you are sure…if this is real…then yes, I will marry you, Colin.”

*

He had thought she hated him for that night in the library, when he had taken things too far, when he had almost ruined her. He had thought that was the reason she had sent him away.

But instead, it seemed she simply believed him indifferent to her. He had not expected to have to persuade her that what was between them was real, but when she finally accepted it, it was all the sweeter.

When she agreed to become his wife, he pulled her to him, not caring that they were in the parlor and that anyone could walk in, or that the footman was just outside the door, and pressed his lips to hers.

She melted beneath his touch, and once again the thought came to him of what she would be like when he could really show her what pleasure love had to offer.

It was a night he could not wait for—their wedding night. And he was certainly going to make sure it took place as soon as possible.

He lost himself in the kiss, her lean frame pressed against his body, her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, as their tongues danced and desire filled his body .

As always seemed to be the case with Susannah, and in this room, he was losing control, losing his sense of propriety. Had a voice not interrupted them, he could not have said what would have happened next.

He rather thought that he might have anticipated their wedding vows earlier than expected.

“Susannah, you really must—” Mr. Lyttleton’s voice cut off abruptly as he entered the room and encountered the scene before him. Colin and Susannah pulled apart hastily, and Colin was sure his face was as flushed as hers, his lips swollen, his eyes full of desire.

“Now, look here,” Mr. Lyttleton began, clearly thinking that he did not care whether Colin was a lord or not—this pushed his hospitality to the limit.

“I apologize profusely for disturbing your dinner party,” Colin said swiftly, before Mr. Lyttleton could say something he might regret, or even throw him out.

“I have just asked Miss Lyttleton for her hand in marriage, and I am delighted to say she has accepted. I hope we have your blessing. I can only apologize for not asking you first.”

Mr. Lyttleton’s mouth opened and closed several times without any sound coming out, as if all words had been lost to him.

Colin reached out and took Susannah’s hands. “I do not wish to spoil your evening, but perhaps we might tell Mrs. Lyttleton the good news before I depart.”

“Of—of course, Lord Bourne,” Mr. Lyttleton said, hurrying from the room.

Colin turned back to Susannah, whose eyes were full of joy, and beamed.

“You’re sure?” she asked, and he hated how little confidence she had in herself, in his love.

He would spend the rest of his life proving to her how much she meant to him.

“More sure than I have ever been about anything in my life. ”

When Susannah’s parents reentered the library, it was clear by the look on Mrs. Lyttleton’s face that she had been told something of the reason for her summons. Her eyes darted between Colin and Susannah, and when Susannah did not seem able to say anything, Colin took the lead.

“I am very pleased to inform you that Susannah has agreed to become my wife.”

Mrs. Lyttleton clapped her hands together in glee, and a smile spread across her face. “Lord Bourne, what wonderful news. And Susannah! You shall be a countess!”