Page 179 of Enemy Within

Sasha stared at him.

“I am your friend, Sasha.” Anton stepped forward, grabbing his arms. “I would not lie to you. I tell you these things so that you can choose different from Tatiana. Yes?” He shook Sasha gently. “You have people who support you. Whatever happened before… you are not there anymore. You have friends now.” Anton tried to catch Sasha’s gaze, but Sasha stared out over the balcony, over Moscow, and said nothing.

Sighing, Anton left him, disappearing back into the ballroom.

There was no way. No way at all. HelovedSergey, loved him so deeply. But loving Sergey would put Sergey in danger, deadly danger. He still felt his comrades’ fists at times, heard their snarls and insults in his nightmares.

The only way for Russia to, eventually, be truly safe and for others like himself to love freely would be for Sergey to lead her.

The only way to keep Sergey safe would be to be far away.

True love, sometimes, meant walking away.

Sasha stayed on the balcony until the chill penetrated his bones, and he was certain the shaking in his hands was from the cold and nothing else.

POUNDING ON HIS HOTEL room door woke him far too early. Cursing, he stumbled out of bed, grumbling as he threw open the door.

Ilya glared at him. “Get downstairs. Breakfast in the ballroom.”

He frowned. “That was not on the schedule.”

“Is just for you.” Ilya turned on his heel and walked away.

Groaning, Sasha thunked his head against the heavy hotel door and closed his eyes. Breakfast just for him. What were the odds that Sergey would be there as well?

On his way back to his hotel room the night before, he’d passed Sergey’s suite, right as Ilya was leaving. Sergey had leaned in the doorframe, his shirt unbuttoned down his chest, cuffs undone, jacket long gone. He’d looked, in the dim light of the suite’s low lamps, perfect. Absolutely perfect, like how Sasha remembered him in his dreams. Ilya must have said something funny. A smile had warmed Sergey’s face, and he was chuckling, rich and deep.

And then he’d seen Sasha, and his expression had melted, falling so fast it almost startled Sasha. But, no, he shouldn’t have been surprised. He wasn’t privileged to Sergey’s happiness anymore. He wouldn’t see his smile ever again.

He pulled on his pants and a dark sweater, brushed his teeth, ran his hands through his bed head, and headed down to the ballroom. Maybe this was the final goodbye. He steeled himself, closing his eyes before pushing open the door.

When he entered, two men rose from a table near the front of the ballroom. Sergey… and another man. They’d clearly been talking, sharing a breakfast tray and a pot of dark coffee. They sat close together… side by side.

His skin prickled as his shoulders tightened, watching Sergey laugh with this strange man. American, by his accent. Tall, broad-shouldered. Blond hair, cut neatly. He wore a suit, even though Sergey had dressed down in jeans, a button-down, and a pullover.

Sergey gave Sasha a tight smile, waving him over to join them. His grin didn’t meet his eyes; instead, sadness poured from his gaze.

Sasha’s lungs seized. When hadthishappened? When had Sergey moved on? Who was this American? Someone from the embassy? Someone Jack had set Sergey up with?

He wasn’t ready for this, to see Sergey with another man. His hands clenched, making tight fists that shook as he crossed the ballroom.

“Sasha Andreyev, Hero of Russia,” Sergey said carefully, nodding to him. “Meet Colonel James Sharp, United States Air Force, and an officer at NASA.”

Colonel Sharp held out his hand as Sasha stumbled over nothing, tripping as Sergey’s words slammed into his brain. “Whoa there! Colonel James Sharp, pleased to meet you. I am the lead recruiter for all prospective NASA astronauts.”

Sasha took his hand, pumping twice, and then sat in the chair Colonel Sharp pulled out for him. Sergey faded away, sitting at a table with his laptop just close enough to eavesdrop.

“So, Sasha. Can I call you Sasha?”

He nodded, glancing at Sergey.

“I hear you’re interested in becoming an astronaut.”

He’d told one person that.Exactlyone person. Only Sergey knew about his dreams, dreams that had vanished after his attack. His eyes boggled, and he blinked, his gaze bouncing from Colonel Sharp to Sergey and back again. “I… am not qualified,” he grunted. “My spleen was removed. Following an… incident.”

“Well, the wonderful thing about modern medicine is that we can fix things like that nowadays.” Colonel Sharp grinned and stuck out his leg. “I lost my left leg from the knee down in Afghanistan on a bad chopper landing. But that didn’t stop me from applying to NASA. They have a medical program for people who apply who aren’t in perfect physical shape. NASA will get you the rest of the way, if you’re accepted. We can grow a bio-identical spleen from your stem cells. Pop it right back in you.” He smiled wide.

Sasha stared, his eyes sliding sideways to Sergey again.