Page 171 of Enemy Within

What had he discovered, though? His heart, if possible, hurt more than it had before. The pit inside him opened deeper, yawned blacker. He trudged down the last steps.

“Why did you come?” Sasha followed him until they were both standing in the snow.

He fumbled in his jacket, pulling out a long, crisp envelope. He’d dreamed of this going differently. “Sasha Andreyev, you are invited to the Heroes’ Ball in Moscow, honoring the fighters who took back our country from the traitor Moroshkin and his followers. You will be named a Hero of Russia and awarded the Hero’s Gold Star medal.” He kept going, even as Sasha stumbled back and fell to his ass, landing in a pile of snow. His face went white, as white as the wasteland surrounding them. “Everything you need is in there. The reception begins at four in the afternoon.” He hesitated. “In three days.”

Sasha stared at the envelope but didn’t take it. Sergey finally dropped it in the snow. He headed out, storming through the drifts as he followed the track back to the muddy road where he’d left his car.

And then, he turned around. His jacket flared around him as he stormed back, straight for Sasha, still sitting on his ass in the snow. “The only thing that would be different in those damn headlines, if you had stayed,” he growled, shaking with fury, “is that you would be helping me make things even better. I believe in you, Sasha. I believe in your heart. I love you, all of you. I wanted you by my side for what you could bring to this country. But you think love is fickle becauseyouare fickle, Sasha. You have no faith in me or in the world. Or in us, and what we could be.”

Finally, Sasha looked up, blinking before he glared. “I lost my spleen to faith,” he snapped. Standing, he ignored the envelope in the snow and stormed back into his cabin, leaving Sergey all alone.

74

Washington DC

SCOTT WOKE THEM BEFORE dawn, knocking on the door to his study and bringing in two steaming cups of coffee. “Finally.” He grinned. “Real coffee.” He smiled at Jack and Ethan’s bedhead, their hair sticking straight up from beneath the blanket that covered their naked bodies. Scott winked and then left them to get dressed.

They were on the road fifteen minutes later, driving down to Andrews Air Force Base. Jack stared out of the window for the whole drive, his eyes tracing Washington’s skyline, the lights of the capital reflecting off the Potomac, scattered stars sparkling behind the monuments. The pale glow of the predawn light, just starting to streak gold and pale pink over the horizon.

Scott badged his way into the base and drove them to the flight line. A small executive jet was already prepped, the engines warm and idling as they waited to taxi to the runway. Air Force officers made themselves scarce, looking away when Scott pulled up.

“All right, HOTUS and POTUS,” he said, spinning in his seat. “Have a good trip to Texas.”

Ethan groaned as Jack laughed.

“I had to.” Scott winked at Ethan. “Levi would never let me live it down if I didn’t get it in.”

Jack tried to smile, but it wavered, and then fell. He looked down, exhaling shakily. How could he ever thank Scott the way he deserved? From the first moment until the last, Scott had been their steadfast friend, a bulwark against the world. How many times had Scott saved their lives? Stood up for them? Helped them when no one else would? How many drives had Scott done for each of them? From the big gestures to the tiny. How many times had he turned from the front seat with a friendly smile, just doing what he could to help? “Scott… I can’t ever say thank you enough—”

“No, stop.” Scott waved him off. “You’ve got nothing to thank me for, Mr. President.”

“Yes, I do. Scott—”

“Tell you what.” Scott grinned. “You can thank me by making this guy happy.” He reached out and grabbed Ethan, shaking his shoulder. “Treat him right. He deserves an awesome husband.You.”

Ethan flushed and knocked Scott’s hand away as Jack finally smiled. “He deserves everything,” he breathed, looking at Ethan. “Far better than me. But I’ll do my best.”How can I treat Ethan the way he deserves if I am in prison?

His thoughts turned dark again, grinding over anxieties that chewed on his every waking thought. Panic was never far; he felt like he was drowning, being swept out to sea by crashing waves, and his legs were getting tired of treading water. How much longer could he keep his head above the surface? He could barely breathe anymore.

Ethan kissed his hair and took his hand. “Let’s go.”

Scott watched from the SUV as they boarded the jet, and then drove off as the pilot started their taxi out to the runway. “We’ll be in Texas in four hours,” the pilot said curtly over the intercom as he turned off the lights. Jack’s lips thinned, and he closed his eyes.

When they took off, Jack’s knuckles went white as the engines screamed and they roared into the sky. The pilot twisted the jet around to fly over Andrews and then skirted the no-fly zone above Washington.

Jack pressed his forehead to the window, gazing over the capital as dawn washed her in golden light.

“It’s not supposed to end like this,” he whispered. “Sneaking out of DC. Staring down the barrel of a life in prison.”

Ethan’s hand snaked through his, holding tight.

“Presidents Harding, Pierce, Tyler, Nixon… and Spiers-Reichenbach.” He squeezed his eyes closed, and his lips trembled again. “Presidents who left office in disgrace. The most reviled in history.”

“Jack…” Ethan slid into the seat beside Jack and pulled him close, turning him away from the window. Jack folded into his arms. “You’re not reviled. You’re not a disgrace.”

He wanted to believe Ethan, he did. But Madigan’s words, spat at him on the ice at the top of the world, played on a near-constant loop in the back of his mind. A joke president no one believed in. An afterthought who became a disgrace, a national regret. Hadn’t Senator Allen affirmed as much? Everything he was, everything that had held him up as a man, was falling away, a house of cards that tumbled into a black abyss in the center of his soul.

“Have I ever told you about the days before you moved into the White House? The transition before your inauguration?”