Page 34 of Enemies with Benefits (Finding the Right Brother #1)

"So, I have a question."

I suppressed a groan, knowing full well it would only encourage him. "You could always choose to leave that in your head instead. I would not argue with that choice."

"I'm sure," Kayden chuckled as he stripped out of his pants and hung them in his locker, without a care in the world for his absurdly small underwear that hid very little.

Which was normal for him, and I'd always given him shit for it because, seriously, they were only trunks in the most technical sense.

They were an inch of fabric away from being considered briefs, and he always chose his underwear so they hugged him so tightly it was pretty much guaranteed that nothing was going to shift when he moved.

He'd always given me shit back because why the hell would I even notice in the first place?

That had been perfectly fine once upon a time, but things had.

..changed. Maybe deep down, I had always known there was no real reason for me to pay that much attention to something he was wearing, it was a part of his body that I should not need to notice.

Yet I'd always pushed the quiet voice away because, c'mon, there was no reason to wear what was almost skin-tight underwear and then show it off while getting dressed.

Now, though, I was aware that there was more to it than that.

It wasn't like I wanted Kayden. Not in the same way that I wanted.

..well, I didn't want him. But it was a lot like how, once upon a time, I would have grumbled that it wasn't my fault if I noticed the way a tight dress hugged a woman's curves, or the way her too snug jeans outlined her ass.

Except now I was dealing with noticing Kayden had an ass that bounced nicely and his thighs were actually impressive, both of which were showcased by the clothes he was fond of wearing.

It wasn't like I fantasized about what he'd look like out of those clothes, stretched out and ready, but even noticing those details was enough to cause a stirring in my groin that I couldn't remember having before.

Or had it been there all along, just buried so deep that the only evidence of its existence was that I had noticed that sort of thing in the first place?

I honestly didn't know the answer to that mystery, and maybe there wasn't a clear one.

Maybe all I was going to have was constant questions and just..

. dealing with the reality. And noticing Kayden, which I could push away just like I could have pushed away a flare of lust at the flash of cleavage, was a sign that whatever had been going on with Mason wasn't a fluke, a simple crossing of wires that should never have met, and was a sign of something else.

Though the fact that it had started with Mason was definitely a sign of something deeply and seriously wrong with me.

Kayden grinned, taking on a pose. "You going to actually talk to me or stand there and stare at all this magnificence?"

Of course, he decided he needed to punctuate his words by slapping his ass and making it jiggle. Thankfully, I didn't jerk my eyes away because Jesus, even if I was becoming more aware of my attraction to some men, he was a goddamn idiot, and that cancelled out everything.

"You're an idiot," I told him as I buttoned my shirt. "No one is staring at anything of yours. Especially in that stripper underwear."

"You say that, but I've had plenty of compliments."

"When? The last time I heard someone say something nice about them, it was Perry. And that was when he was being gross about it."

"Ha, and watching you threaten him was great."

I rolled my eyes as he continued dressing. “Still can't believe he reported me for being homophobic."

It hadn't been about homophobia, it was how absolutely gross he had been.

Telling the guy I'd break his fingers if he said anything like that again had been perfectly reasonable, as I'd told the captain later when I'd been pulled into the office.

I'd pointed out that if any other officer had talked about a female officer, that if they kept wearing clothes like that, they'd be tempted to take them out for drinks until they were drunk enough to let them plow that ass six ways to Sunday, then that cop would have been in deep shit for sexual harassment.

Saying that shit to another guy didn't make it okay, and Kayden might have tried to play it off, but I could tell he was uncomfortable.

"Eh," Kayden grunted as he pulled on his jeans. "I mean, it would have been one thing if he had just said 'nice ass, ' I'll give you that. It's a pretty nice ass."

It was, but. “When it comes to attention, you're bisexual."

He laughed as he yanked on a shirt. “It's the twenty-first century.

If a guy wants to show me a bit of attention, who am I to argue?

It's not going in the spank bank, but if a guy is willing to risk some homophobia thrown in their face because they find me that hot that they can't not say something? That's a compliment."

"I hate you," I grumbled as I closed the locker.

"Because I'm making sense?"

"Fuck you."

"You'll have to treat me to dinner first."

I sighed. “I think I'll leave that to Moira."

There was a moment of silence before he cleared his throat roughly, his tone soft and a little wary. “How did you?—?"

I looked up, surprised to see him watching me carefully. "What?"

He shifted uncomfortably, sitting down to pull his shoes on. "Moira. What you just said."

I blinked in confusion. "What about it? You two have been spending time around one another a lot, and I haven't seen you try to sleep with her once."

"Um, okay?"

"Which you only do when you're into someone. Plus, she keeps laughing at the stupidest shit that comes out of your mouth, even when she's rolling her eyes. She's not the type to waste laughter on someone unless she's into them. You two have been flirting nonstop."

"Uh," he cleared his throat again, staring down at his feet despite having both shoes on. "About that?—"

I couldn't see his face, but I would bet from his tone that he was wincing. It took me a moment, and then I grunted. “You have slept with her."

Now he did look up with a wince. “It's only happened a few times, and it only started recently, and I?—"

I stared at him in confusion as he stood up, at a rare loss for words. As we left the locker room and made it out of the precinct to the street, I understood what his problem was. "Wait, are you worried that I'm going to be pissed?"

"I mean," he began in exasperation. "I know what she is to you."

"What she was ," I corrected instantly. "We dated, and yeah, I was in love with her, but I don't feel like that.

We broke up for a reason, Kayden, and those reasons didn't magically change over the years.

And they definitely didn't change because she decided to hide from me that I had a fucking kid. "

"Still pissed about that, huh?"

"You're goddamn right. And when I figure out how to stop being mad, then maybe I'll figure out how to make peace with it. But I haven't been able to, so I'm going to be pissed about it for a while longer. Why, you planning on defending her?"

He raised a brow. “Not a chance. I told her it was fucked up that she kept Micah from you, and she agrees.

Trust me, you could tell her off again today and she'd accept it.

I don't think anyone in her family would defend her.

It was a messed-up choice, but...there's no taking it back either.

And I mean, you've been figuring out a way to get over whatever the fuck was going on with you and Mason, so I believe you'll figure out how to get over what she did. "

I came to a stop at the intersection. “What do you mean about Mason and me?"

He looked up at me incredulously. “Seriously?

For a while there, you two couldn't be around each other without making the tension in any room thicker than molasses.

Now you can actually have a conversation without making everyone afraid you're going to start pulling out the knives or punching each other's lights out.

Speaking of that second thing, you two meeting up for those weekly boxing sessions? "

"Yes," I answered a little uncomfortably. "They're...helping."

"I mean, I know you two used to beat the shit out of each other all the time.

So I'm still trying to figure out how sticking to your boxing matches is somehow blowing off steam better than before," he said with a shrug.

"I mean, I know you guys are still pretty rough with each other from the looks of both of you, but maybe it's because you aren't...actually fighting? "

"I don't know, maybe," I said evasively. I was pretty sure it had more to do with the fact that the boxing was just the lead-up to an entirely different way of blowing off steam. "Something like that."

"Your self-awareness and evaluation do you so much credit."

"Fuck off."

I let him laugh as he pulled out his phone and began checking his messages, while I lapsed into thought that wasn't troubled, but wasn't peaceful either.

Things between Mason and me had...leveled out, I suppose, was the best way to put it.

We still couldn't help but butt heads constantly, and he still lived for getting on my nerves in an insanely childish way.

Except now it was balanced by the fact that he also lived for doing far more enjoyable things with me.

..because seriously, the things that man could do with his mouth could put a professional hooker to shame.