Page 31 of Endlessly Yours (The Wilder Brothers #10)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

brOOKS

I stared at Erin and Bo, wondering what I was supposed to say in the situation. It had been a couple of years since I had seen Amara’s parents, and while I wasn’t displeased to see them, I was still shocked.

“Bo, Erin, can I get you guys something to drink? Coffee? Tea?”

Erin shook her head as she looked past me, her eyes narrowed.

“No, we’re fine. We’re staying at a hotel downtown because we just needed a trip out, just to get out of our city. Sorry, we didn’t call ahead.” Bo frowned. “I see we should have.”

The censure in his tone wasn’t lost on me, but it had been over four years now since Amara had died, and I didn’t know the right number of years to mourn, the appropriate time it was to move on.

Because grief wasn’t static. Nor did the phrase ‘move on’ make sense.

Because you weren’t leaving anyone behind. You were just a different person.

“I’m glad you’re getting out. Though it’s a bit of a stormy day, not quite good for touristy things.”

“I see you’re having a barbecue,” Erin said, her voice clipped.

I looked at the woman who had cried in my arms when we had finally said goodbye to Amara and then slammed her fists into my chest because I allowed my wife to sign a DNR.

Bo had understood, had calmed his own wife down, but things had been strained in the past few years.

It wasn’t that we disliked each other. It was just awkward to be in a place where the one person that connected us was no longer here.

And I didn’t need them, and they didn’t need me.

Which was a sad state of affairs.

“My brother, his wife, his kids, and my friends were here. Before the storm came in, it was a good day for a barbecue. We made extra. You’re welcome to stay.

” I paused. “We would like you to stay.” It was honest too.

I didn’t resent them. How could I? They had given me one of the most special people of my life.

Their daughter. I wasn’t going to resent them. I couldn’t.

I just had to navigate these murky waters I had never expected.

“Oh, I don’t know if we should,” Erin said after a moment before she let out a breath and set down her bag. “We should have called. I’m just not good at this, Brooks. You were our son, and then the world changed, and I don’t know how to talk to you without bringing back all of those memories.”

I swallowed hard and did the one thing that I knew how to do. I moved forward and took her hand, trying not to break in the process.

“You don’t have to say were… If you want, I will always be your son.

Amara didn’t choose to go just as much as we didn’t choose to let her go.

” Bo let out a shaky breath next to me, but I continued.

“I love your daughter. I will always love her. But I made a promise to her, one that has taken a long time for me to truly realize what that promise meant.”

“What are you talking about, Brooks?” Bo asked, his gaze intent.

And as I let out a breath, I told them of a promise I had made their daughter. One that had slowly broken me before I had realized what exactly it had meant.

Tears streamed freely down Erin’s face, but she nodded solemnly. “That was our daughter. Too good for all of us.”

I let out a rough chuckle. “Believe me, I know that. Amara was a better person than I ever was. I’d like to say I would’ve done the same thing. Asked her to move on so she wouldn’t be alone, but I’m a selfish bastard.”

Bo barked out a laugh at my curse, but Erin just grinned. “Frankly, so are we. Because we would do anything to get our daughter back. I think that’s why we stayed away so long. Because I’m not good at this, Brooks.”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to get good about grieving. About figuring out who you are now. But you’re welcome to stay for dinner. Hell, you’re welcome to stay here at my place if you don’t want to go back to the hotel. Especially because it looks like it may, hopefully, rain soon.”

Lightning crashed through the room, and we each jumped.

“That sounded pretty close,” Bo said, and I nodded.

“Too close,” I said, looking off into the distance. Everybody should be safe inside Rory’s house, but I was still worried.

“Who was that woman?” Erin asked, and I looked towards the woman who had raised Amara, unable to read her face.

That was usually the problem with Amara’s mother.

Because I couldn’t read her usually. It wasn’t that she was judgmental or mean; it was that she was hurting.

And wanted others to hurt too. Not out of callousness but because she needed others to feel her pain.

So she would lash out at those she knew could take it, meaning I wasn’t going to let her do the same to the woman that I loved.

“That’s Rory. The woman that I’m seeing. Those girls are her nieces. She’s raising them after her sister and brother-in-law died earlier this year.”

Erin put her hand over her heart, as Bo let out a grunt of pain.

“I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to tell you. I don’t want to hurt you. But I thought you should know the truth.”

“Do you love her?” Erin asked, and I met the other woman’s gaze, knowing lying wouldn’t help.

“I do. I never thought I was allowed to. I thought that this would be it for me. Waiting until it was time for me to see Amara again. But that wasn’t fair to her or me.

So yes, I love Rory. Though I haven’t told her yet, so if you guys could give me the grace of time for that, that would be wonderful. ”

“Oh, Brooks.” Tears filled her eyes as she moved forward.

I flinched when she cupped my face, but she just lowered her head and let out a breath.

“I’m happy for you. And broken a little.

But I’m happy. You took care of our daughter when we couldn’t.

When you were the only one she could hold because everything else hurt.

You don’t deserve to live in pain and loneliness for the rest of your life.

I know I wasn’t nice. And I have no excuse other than I was dying inside. But I really hope you’re happy.”

I looked over at Bo, who wasn’t saying anything. Instead, he looked off into the distance, his jaw tight.

“We should head out before the storm truly hits. I don’t even know why we came without warning you. I think we just got in the car, and then we were here.”

“You’re always welcome. Rory would say the same.”

“Is she living with you?” Erin asked, her voice slightly clipped.

“She lives next door. The girls needed a place to stay when they lost everything, and well, it turned out for the best.”

“Maybe one day we’ll hear more. But?—”

I turned at the look of alarm on her face and was running before I even thought twice.

“Call the fire department. Tell them that there’s a brush fire. Quick.”

“I’ll do it right now. Oh my God, are there people out there?”

“I’m right behind you,” Bo said, and I started running, my feet pounding on the deck stairs as I ran towards the sound of someone’s scream.

Flashes of Amara’s last words hit me, and I tried to push them out of my mind. I was not going to lose another person that I loved.

“Brooks! Cameron and Rory are out there!” Wyatt yelled, and I nearly tripped over my feet.

“Keep the kids back, and start working on our fire precautions to keep the houses safe. Do what you can. I’m getting the girls.”

“I’m coming with you,” Bo shouted as he ran right beside me, keeping up far more than I thought he would.

I knew he had his own demons by running with me, but we kept going.

Fire licked across in a straight line, the transformer that must have blown bursting once again into flames.

I searched for that familiar blonde hair, and all I could see were the flames, but the sound of someone’s shout finally hit me.

“Rory!”

“Brooks! We’re over here! We’re cut off!”

“Damn it,” I said, as I pulled off the flannel I had put on earlier, as the wind had picked up, and covered my mouth with it.

“I’ll go get Wyatt and the hose. Or something. Don’t run into those flames, Brooks!” Bo yelled.

“I’m not leaving them.”

And without another word, I ran towards the edge of the flames, searching for a way through.

Finally, there was a slight gap, and I jumped over the line, ignoring the singe on my arm where the fire had gotten too close.

Bo shouted my name, and then Wyatt was there, but I didn’t know what they were doing. Instead, all I could see was Rory huddled over Cameron, dragging the little girl towards where there was another break, but it was too far away.

“Rory!”

And then she turned towards me, eyes wide.

“No, you’re going to get hurt!” she said, her hands shaking, but I didn’t care. I just ran towards them and crushed them to me.

Without another word, I pulled Cameron into my arms and began to drag them towards the now-shortening break in the fire line. “We have to get there quick. Run.”

“I’m scared!” Cameron yelled.

“I’ve got you. You guys are fine,” I lied, but it didn’t matter. I was going to get them out of this.

There was no fucking way I was going to let my family get hurt.

“Brooks, you’re bleeding!” Cameron said, and as Rory cursed under her breath, we kept going.

Smoke billowed towards us, and I coughed, covering Cameron’s head with my flannel, pushing the girls faster.

Another shock of lightning arced across the sky, but we ignored it, focusing single-mindedly on getting out of this fire.

The field wasn’t that big, and we were running out of room.

Just as I feared the worst, the first drop of rain hit.

Heat slammed into us as the fire came closer, and I pulled the girls behind me, but the rain finally broke, lashing through the flames and over our faces.

I held Cameron’s shaking body as I looked at Rory, and she finally broke down, tears bursting from her.

“Oh my God. Brooks.”

“It’s okay, the fire’s down. It’s going down,” I said, hoping to hell that I wasn’t lying. Even as the rain began to pour, Rory and I pulled the flannel off of Cameron’s face. We searched for cuts or bruises, but she just shook her head and clung to both of us.

“I’m sorry. I love you. I love you both. Please don’t be mad.”

“We’re not mad. We love you too, baby girl,” Rory whispered as she clung to her niece, and I held them both close.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wyatt, Bo, and the others running toward us, and from what I could tell, even the kids were running toward us too.

I wanted to tell them to stay back, but the flames had receded, and as I stood there with most of my family in my arms, my knees nearly gave out.

“I love you,” I whispered as I looked at Rory and hugged her tight.

“I love you too. I knew you’d come,” she said as she sniffed. “I was going to get us out of there, I swear, Cameron, but I’m really glad you came, Brooks.”

“I knew you’d come too,” Cameron whispered through tears, and then my brother was there, cursing as he looked at my arm, but I gave him a look to tell him to ignore it.

And then, when Alice ran towards us, leaping in the air, I caught her, ignoring the pain in my arm, and held my family close to me.

I let out a shake breath. “I love you, Rory. Forever.”

She kissed my neck, holding onto the girls with me. “Same. I freaking love you so much. I’m really glad it’s raining.”

“Never do that again,” Alice yelled, and I wanted to laugh, but instead, I tightened my hold as my in-laws watched on, and Wyatt had his arms around Ava and Faith, gesturing to the fire department for where to come and put out any additional flames.

Soot made me cough, and my arm hurt like a bitch, but I kept my attention on the three women who had taken over my life and tried not to pass out.

Later, with my arm bandaged and my feet up on the coffee table, I watched from afar as Erin and Bo worked with Ava and the rest of my family, who had all come en force to my house, work on dinner.

Alice slept at the corner of the couch, one of my blankets over her, as Cameron played with her hair while the little girl slept.

And I sat with Rory leaning into me, my life sitting on this couch.

“I was scared, but I knew you’d come. Probably silly, but maybe not.”

“I was always going to find you. That much I can promise you. I love you, Rory. I was just trying to figure out how to tell you. Next time, let’s not let a fire do that.”

“Deal. Because I love you too.”

“Does this mean you’re my Uncle Brooks now?” Cameron asked, her eyes puffy, but that smirk on her face told me she was trying to be brave.

“If that’s what you like. But that does mean you have to listen to me when I tell you to do things.”

“Fine,” she said with a smile and a roll of her eyes, and she went back to braiding Alice’s hair.

And I sat there with Rory in my arms, grateful that she had come to the Retreat that day and I had seen her, knowing my life would be changed forever.

I just had never realized how much it would change.

Because I had been given a second chance, a chance to grow with this family of our own making.

And I knew some of the hardest days might be in front of us, but I wasn’t going to take this for granted, not again.

I smiled over at my in-laws, who smiled back softly, each of them working on a different part of our dinner prep, and I figured that I was a very grateful man.

Then I looked up to the ceiling and closed my eyes, saying thank you to the woman who had made me promise something I never thought I would actually achieve.

Because grief really changed in every instant of breath and movement and time passing.

And your heart could grow over time. There wasn’t space for merely one person. Instead it grew as you did, changed as you did. Because I loved Rory. And I would always love her. And in a way, the first woman I had ever loved had found a way to gift me the woman I loved now.

And maybe others wouldn’t understand, but I didn’t care.

Because I wasn’t going to take this for granted. Not again. Not ever.

“So does this mean you’re actually going to take a day off and heal?” Rory asked.

“Maybe,” I said.

“Yes, he will,” my eldest brother said, and I just nodded, knowing that the Wilders didn’t back down easily.

I may have been the first Wilder to settle down, but now I was the final one to start over.

And that meant I was the final one to figure out exactly where it had all gone wrong and where it should have gone right.

And that meant I was never letting Rory go.

No matter how hard we had tried to ignore what had been there all along.