Page 17 of Endlessly Yours (The Wilder Brothers #10)

CHAPTER EIGHT

RORY

“I can’t find my shoes. Did somebody take my shoes? It had to be you, Alice. Your feet can’t even fit in my shoes. You’re too small. You’re just a baby.”

Eggs on the stove, toast in the toaster, I quickly pulled the pan off the burner and moved towards the stairwell. “Cameron. Stop being mean to your sister. Your shoes are here by the door where you left them yesterday. Which are also next to your bag. Do we need to go over your homework?”

“I’m fine. I don’t need your help.” Cameron slammed her door, and I pinched the bridge of my nose, telling myself that perhaps things were getting smoother.

In fact, it almost felt routine at this point to be called names and shouted at while trying to figure out how to raise two children I didn’t know.

I went back to the stove and dished up the girls’ breakfast. I didn’t always make eggs and toast with fruit for breakfast, but since I hadn’t been able to sleep the night before, I had woken up early with extra energy.

Laundry was already in the washer, the dishwasher was unloaded, breakfast was ready, and my tablet was on the table since I had been working on the children’s book illustrations before the girls had even gotten up.

It had been nearly twenty-four hours since I had had sex with Brooks.

Sex on a desk where he had talked so dirty I had nearly come just from his words alone.

And then he had disposed of the condom, taking the trash out completely after kissing me softly on the mouth and leaving me to get fixed up. I had needed to center myself, and we had parted ways, forgetting our pizzas completely.

And we hadn’t talked about it. Because why would the two of us talk about it.

I knew that talk would come soon. I had fretted over it all night, hence why I hadn’t slept at all. It was fine; I was just going to have to deal with it later. Because the girls came first. That was going to be the refrain for the rest of my life.

I set the fruit on the kitchen island, staggering.

For the rest of my life.

These girls were going to need me for the rest of my life.

This wasn’t just a few months to get used to this new feeling.

This would be college applications and moms and boyfriends.

Weddings and moving out and college. This was beyond hurt knees and trying to make sure that they liked the color of their new comforter. This was a life. Three lives.

And I missed my sister beyond reason. Well, I had missed my sister long before everything had changed.

And I never got to say goodbye.

Realizing a tear had slid down my cheek, I cleared my throat. “Girls. Breakfast. Please come downstairs and eat. And then we can go over everything that we need to for the morning.”

The sound of socked feet on stairs echoed through the kitchen as Alice came down then, a smile on her face.

However, from the red-rimmed eyes and swollen cheeks, I knew that smile wasn’t truly there.

“Alice? What’s wrong?”

She didn’t say anything. Instead, her smile fell, and she climbed up onto the bar stool. “Nothing. Thank you for making breakfast, Aunt Rory.”

Her voice was so soft that I had to swallow hard so I didn’t cry right along with her.

“If you’re sure. I’m here if you want to talk.”

“I’m okay,” she whispered.

I ran my hand over her hair and caught my fingers in a tangle. With a sigh, I picked up the brush on the other table behind me and worked out the tangle as Alice ate.

“Do you want a braid, a ponytail, or do you want it down?”

“Can you do one of those crown braid things?” she asked, her eyes wide as she looked over at me.

I nodded. “Yes, but it might not be perfect. I’m still learning. Is that okay?”

“I don’t mind. Mom used to do them.”

I pushed another lump down my throat as I picked up the strands of her hair and began the braid.

“I remember. She would braid my hair too. She was always better at braiding my hair than I was at hers.”

“You look so much like Mom. And when you woke me up this morning, I thought it was Mommy coming back to tell me that everything was okay. But it’s not okay.

Mommy and Daddy aren’t coming back. And I try to be a big girl.

Because Cameron said only babies cry. But I miss them so much.

And I thought just for that moment that they were okay.

And that we were just visiting you. And then I felt sad because I don’t want to leave you either. ”

Tears were freely flowing down her cheeks then, and I finished the braid before holding her to my chest.

“Oh, Alice. I miss your mom so much. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t fix everything. But I’m here. I know I’m not the same, and I don’t want to be the same. But I love you, okay? Do you know that? I’ve always loved you.”

“I know. Mommy used to whisper it… when Daddy wasn’t around.”

My heart squeezed as if in a vise, and I let out a shaky breath before pulling back to finish Alice’s hair.

“I loved your mom.”

“Because she was your sister, like Cameron is my sister. But I bet you guys were nicer,” she pouted, tears long gone.

“We fought. A lot. But we were also the same age so we had the same classes, and our mom kept dressing us the same.”

“I’m not ever going to be the same as Cameron.”

“And that’s okay. You can be Alice. I like Alice.”

I looked over at the now cooling eggs on the full plate beside Alice’s and called out to Cameron again.

The not-yet-a-teenager sigh echoed once more, and Cameron stomped her way down the stairs.

“I don’t even like eggs,” she growled as she forced herself into the chair and bit into a piece of toast.

She had loved eggs the day before, so I didn’t know what I was supposed to say then. Looking at Alice, Cameron glared at me.

“Why did you make Alice cry?”

“She didn’t. It was about Mommy.”

“Don’t talk about Mom.”

“Alice is allowed to talk about your parents as much as she wants to. So are you. It’s good for us to.”

“You’re not my therapist.”

“No, I’m your aunt. Your guardian. And at some point, you’re going to have to understand that. That I’m the adult, and you have to stop talking to me like this, Cameron.”

“I’m not talking to you anyway.”

“Stop being a meanie,” Alice added in.

I patted Alice’s shoulder. “Don’t be mean to your sister either. It’s okay. We’re going to find a balance.”

“I don’t want to find a balance. I just want to go home.”

“I know you do, baby. But this is our home now. And I don’t know how to make it better other than telling you I’m here. Okay?”

“I’m not your baby,” Cameron snapped, but she finished her eggs and fruit.

I looked at the clock and realized we were out of time. The bus did pick up at the end of the street, but I was going to drop them off today because I was worried about the two of them. I felt like I wasn’t spending enough time with them or perhaps spending too much time.

They had only spent the night at Alexis’ twice, and I wasn’t sure how the other woman had handled all of those children. But Alice had had a fun time, and Cameron apparently hadn’t acted out.

No, she only saved that for me.

Thankfully, she seemed to be respectful to her teachers, but I wasn’t sure if they were making friends or not.

I was trying to figure it out, trying to figure all of this out. But this wasn’t the life I had signed up for. Everything was falling through my fingers, and I couldn’t keep up.

But I did not have time to wallow. Instead, I put their dishes into the sink as the girls went to brush their teeth one more time, and we headed out.

Since there were boxes in the garage, things I wasn’t sure what to do with, I had parked in the driveway the night before. The girls moved ahead of me as I locked the door behind me, and I froze as Alice ran off to the side.

“Mr. Brooks! Did you see my hair? Aunt Rory did it for me. It’s a braid, just like Mommy did. Do you like it?”

I forced myself to move forward, past the front porch, so I could watch the scene in front of me.

Cameron stood by the car, arms folded in front of her, but there was a blush on her cheeks as she looked up at Brooks. Well, that was going to be something I’d have to deal with later. However, Alice had her new best friend wrapped around her finger.

To the point that Brooks picked her up with one easy movement, saddled her on his hip, and walked towards us.

“The braid looks pretty, Ms. Alice. Your aunt did a good job.” Brooks met my gaze then, and my throat tightened. Memories of exactly what we had done the night before slammed into me, and I told myself that I needed to stop thinking.

I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but wallowing at this moment wasn’t going to help anything, and frankly, the girls saw too much.

Because they’d already wondered why I had been so out of it after I picked them up after the pizza party.

I knew that my friends were trying to give me any help that they could by taking the girls for some moments, ensuring that I had some time to myself, and yet, it seemed like I wasn’t making good decisions when I had that time alone.

“Come on, girls, we have to get to school now. I have two schools to drop you off at.”

“No bus today?” Brooks asked as he set Alice down.

“Buses are for losers,” Cameron said with her chin held high.

I leaned forward. “Or buses are for kids that are lucky enough to be in a place with one. Or maybe their parents are working.”

“Whatever.” Cameron got into the SUV as Alice waved back to Brooks and settled into the back next to her.

That left me alone with Brooks in my front yard, throat tight, wondering what the hell I was supposed to say.

“At least she seems to be talking to you with the same attitude she talks to me.”

Brooks’s lips twitched. “Good to know I’m one of the lucky few. Have a good day, Rory.”