Page 29 of Ember’s Heart

Ember

I can’t believe we’re in August already, this summer is flying by. It’s already been a full, ago nizing month since Colton left town, leaving me reeling and the familiar pain that his absence left me with before.

Three weeks since that raw and emotional text message he sent, pleading for my forgiveness and asking me to wait.

Since then, there had only been a couple of short, vague texts, usually just a check-in, a brief “thinking of you.” It felt like there was a constant tug-of-war going on inside of me.

Part of me, the hopeful, foolish part, wanted to believe what he was saying, to hold onto the promise of a future with him.

But another, more jaded part, questioned everything, seeing only repeat actions of the past.

This morning, Garrett and I were in one of the empty workshops on the farm finishing up packing the last of the Farm to Table meal kits, ready for local customers to pick up.

Keeping busy and the scent of herbs and tomatoes around us was a welcome distraction and helped get my mind off Colton and what I was going to do.

Both Garrett and Owen have been my rocks.

Garrett had been furious at Colton that night, threatening everything short of actual murder, but since then, he’s shown nothing but support and has gone out of his way to see how I was doing.

Owen, too, had been amazing. Those first few days all he did was sit with me while I cried my eyes out.

I’d read Colton’s message countless times, his heartfelt apology and promises. But what was I supposed to say? Okay, I’ll just wait indefinitely while you figure yourself out, even though I have no idea where you are or when you’ll be back? My responses had been short, vague, non-committal.

“Alright, last one,” Garrett said, sealing a box with tape and putting the last name on it. “You gonna head out soon?”

“Yep,” I replied. “Just need to grab my bag and I’ll be off. Are you sure you don’t mind handling the pickups? I feel bad leaving you to deal with it, but I completely forgot about meeting Avery.”

Garrett leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms. He looked at me, his serious gaze telling me he had something to say and wasn’t sure how to.

“Look Em,” he started. “I just want to say something. At first, when Colton first came back to town, I was furious. I didn’t think he deserved your forgiveness, or a second chance after what he put you through.

” He paused, his jaw tight. “But then… I talked to him. Listened to his words and what happened. And I’ve seen what he’s been going through.

What he went through over there.” He scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Look, I’m definitely still pissed at him for how he handled things with you.

But I also believe he loves you, Ember. He really does.

And at the end of the day, this is your li fe, your heart.

The decision is yours, and all I want is for you to be happy.

” He pushed off the counter, coming over to wrap me in a brotherly hug.

“But maybe… I don’t know, maybe keep the faith, Em.

And give him one more chance to prove himself.

But don’t put your entire life on hold waiting for him. ”

His words were unexpected. Garrett, despite his gruff exterior, was a big softy on the inside.

“Thanks, G,” I murmured, a genuine warmth spreading through me and I hugged him back. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But the same goes for you. I want to see you happy too.”

“I’m fine. No need to worry.”

Grabbing my bag, I headed out to meet Avery.

As I was walking up to Rose’s Bean and Brew, the fresh aroma of coffee washed over me, I bumped into someone.

“Oh! I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed, looking up, surprised to see who it was.

Jake Miller. He smiled, a friendly, easy-going smile. “Ember!. How have you been? I’m sorry I ran off that night. I shouldn’t have just left you there without making sure you were ok.”

My cheeks flushed with embarrassment with the reminder of how drunk I’d gotten and used Jake to make Colton jealous.

“Oh, no worries,” I said, waving my hand like it was nothing.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have pulled you into whatever mess me and Colton have going on.

It wasn’t right. Colton had no right to act that way.

I won’t apologize for him, but he’s been struggling lately. ”

He rubbed his jaw, his gaze flickering nervously.

“Yeah, I understand that.” Jake paused and looked down at his feet before looking back at me.

“Look, Ember, I know this might be… awkward, given everything. An d I know you and Colton have… history. But I was wondering if… if you’d maybe want to grab dinner sometime?

Just… as friends, of course. No pressure.

Just to catch up.” He looked genuinely hesitant, clearly unaware of where things stood with me and Colton.

I was about to politely decline, my mind already formulating an excuse about being busy, when Avery’s voice cut in from directly behind me.

“Yes! Ember would love to, Jake!” Avery chirped, appearing beside me, a triumphant grin on her face. She’d clearly overheard the conversation.

My eyes widened as I shot her a glare, but it was too late. Jake’s face lit up.

I sighed, then looked at Jake and thought, What do I owe Colton? I don’t even know where he is. Why shouldn’t I go out with a friend?

Deciding I was going to accept Jake’s invitation, I said, “As friends.” My gaze was firm as I stressed the friends’ part.

Jake nodded eagerly. “Absolutely. Just friends. How about Friday night? I could pick you up around six?”

“Sounds good,” I agreed, even though I was conflicted and didn’t feel excited about it.

“Great! See you then, Ember. Avery.” He gave a quick wave as he walked away.

After Jake was far enough away and out of ear shot, I spun to face my bestie. “Seriously, Avery! What was that?”

“What?” she asked, shrugging a shoulder, “Ember, it wouldn’t hurt for you to get out. It’s just dinner with a friend.”

“I know, but I didn’t want to. I don’t need any more hassles in my life. The last thing I need is for Jake to get the wrong idea, or start thinking he has a chance. I don’t want to hurt him.”

Avery raised her eyebrows at me and rolled her eyes at me.

“Ok, first,” she said as she held up a finger, “he doesn’t think that.

You made it clear it was as friends. Second,” she held up another finger, “you need a little distraction! Just go and have fun. And third, Colton walked away. I know, I know,” she rolled her eyes again and waved a hand, “he has his reasons. But that doesn’t mean you live as a hermit or a nun until he decides he’s ready to come back. ”

Narrowing my eyes at her, I said, “Have you been talking to Garrett? He said something strangely similar to that.”

Avery just giggled as she pulled me inside Rose’s Bean and Brew to take a seat.

Just as we reached the table, my phone chimed. I glanced down. A text from Colton. My stomach lurched, a sharp pang of guilt twisting in my gut.

I read the text before putting my phone away. Deciding I would deal with it later.

Later that night, alone in my room, the soft glow of my bedside lamp giving me a little bit of light, I pulled my phone from my purse. Opening Colton’s text, I reread it:

Can we talk tonight? Around 10?

I hadn’t responded. I’d been with Avery, and I was feeling guilty for accepting the invitation from Jake. Now, as the clock on my nightstand crept closer to ten, a new wave of anxiety washed over me. Would he call? Or would he take my silence as me not wanting to talk?

Biting my thumb nail, I watched as the minutes ticked by, nine fifty-seven. Nine fifty-eight. Nine fifty-nine. Just as I was about to convince myself he wouldn’t call, my phone vibrated, lighting up with his name. My heart leaped into my throat. I took a shaky breath and answered. “Hello?”

“Ember?” His voice was rough, hesitant, but filled with emotion.

“Colton,” I replied, my own voice a little shaky.

“I wasn’t sure if you got my text,” he began, a vulnerability in his tone that softened me. “You didn’t respond and I didn’t know if you’d talk to me.”

“I got it,” I confirmed, pulling the phone closer. “I was with Avery and couldn’t respond- no that’s a lie. I didn’t know what to say. But, yeah, I’d like to talk. How are you doing? Where are you?”

“I’ve been staying at Alejandro’s cabin, it’s…

it’s helping, the quietness. It’s been good for me to just think about things.

It hasn’t been easy. I talk to him once a day, either just a quick text, or if I’m having a bad day, or a night, I call him to talk.

He’s really good, Ember. He’s helping me to heal and finally deal with everything that happened.

” I continued to listen as Colton talked.

He told me about the flashbacks, about the guilt, which I’d already known about, but just didn’t realize how deep it went.

He told me about his nightmares and waking up in cold sweats.

I hadn’t realized the tears rolling down my cheeks until his voice grew more resolute.

“He says what I’ve been going through is normal.

It’s been hard, but I’m not running anymore. ”

A silence stretched between us. It was my turn.

I needed to apologize too. The words about Bethany tumbled out, laced with the lingering sting of jealousy.

“I… I know I didn’t handle it right that day.

Seeing Bethany… seeing her kiss you… it just brought back so much.

About how she was in high school. That girl was always a bitch.

And seeing her, and you, after all these years…

” I paused, then added, a small, self-deprecat ing laugh escaping me, “Honestly, I wish I’d marched up to her and punched her in her perfect little nose. ”

A low chuckle rumbled through the phone. “I like your jealousy, Firefly,” he said, and despite myself, a blush crept up my neck. “But you have no reason to be jealous of her, or anyone.”

“I don’t like it, Colton,” I admitted, my voice serious again. “It makes me question everything. It makes me question us . If we’re going to try this, Colton, I need to get to a point where I can fully trust you. Where I don’t have reasons for jealousy. I don’t want to feel like that.”

He was quiet for a moment, and I held my breath.

“You’re right. And we will, Ember. We’ll get there,” he finally said, his voice solemn.

“Anyone would be jealous and angry seeing the one they loved being kissed by someone else. But I want you to know, Ember, it was strictly one-way. I wasn’t reciprocating that kiss.

Not for a second. There’s only you, Firefly. ”

His words, spoken with such conviction, eased a knot in my chest. We talked more, about his recovery, about taking things slow, about rebuilding what we’d lost. We had a long way to go, but maybe, just maybe, we were taking the first step on a new path.

We talked for what felt like hours, the phone pressed to my ear, for a moment I felt like a giddy teenager talking to the boy she liked late into the night.

He told me about Alejandro, about the cabin, it sounded nice and relaxing.

He told me that Alejandro believes he’s struggling with PTSD and wants him to see a doctor to get professionally diagnosed.

He didn’t make excuses for his actions, Colton was just being honest.

“I’m really trying, Ember,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “No more secrets. I want us to be completely open and honest. It’s important for us to really move forward. ”

Damn . I guess it was my turn to tell him about my date Friday night.

“Colton,” I said, my voice giving away my nervousness. “I’m willing to try. And I want everything you want. But there’s something you need to know.” I took a deep breath, the words feeling heavy on my tongue. “I have a date on Friday.”