Page 25 of Ember’s Heart

Colton

T he magic of that kiss still lingered between us as we cleaned up.

There was a comfortable silence between us as we packed up the cooler, deflated the air mattress and portable screen, and gathered the blankets. The string lights still twinkled, casting a soft glow around us, making it feel like we were in our own private world.

“So,” Ember said, breaking the comfortable silence as she folded a blanket, “Sunday’s the Fourth.

You know the town’s annual event is happening, right?

” She glanced at me, a hopeful, expectant look in her eyes.

“My family still sets up a stand for Mom’s homemade goods.

I was hoping… maybe you’d come help out? And then join us for the fireworks?”

My heart began to race and I felt my chest tightening.

Just that word, fireworks hit me like a physical blow.

A cold knot formed in my stomach. Loud noises.

Explosions. Suddenly I had a flood of memories flash through my mind – the smell of burnt fuel and the screams of my friends.

My scars, both visible and invisible, seemed to throb in protest. I normally avoided crowds, loud noises, anything that could trigger the flashbacks.

I nodded, my stomach tightening. “Yeah, I know.”

“You know my family always goes all out. And this year with us doing the cooking videos and other new things, Mom really is excited to do it,” she continued, oblivious to my growing anxiety.

“Mom’s been baking like a madwoman. I was hoping…

I was hoping you’d come with us.” Her eyes, soft and hopeful, looked up at me.

“Ember, I… I don’t know,” I started, trying to find the right words, to explain the suffocating anxiety that gripped me. “The fireworks… it’s just, they can be… a lot. Sometimes the loud bangs…”

Her face fell, a shadow of disappointment clouding her features. Her smile faded, and she looked down at her hands. The sudden sadness in her eyes twisted something inside me. The last thing I wanted was to disappoint her.

“Oh,” she said, her voice small, looking away.

Then, she looked back up at me, her eyes filled with a new kind of concern that erased the disappointment.

“Colton, no. You don’t have to. Seriously.

If they’re going to be too much for you, then don’t come.

Your wellbeing is more important than fireworks.

Maybe we can watch them from inside my car, or skip them entirely.

Please, don’t put yourself through that if it hurts you. ”

That look of genuine concern, the way she instantly put my needs above her own, was like another punch to the gut- but a good one.

My resolve, which had been crumbling, solidified in a different way.

“No,” I said quickly, my voice rough. “No, it’s fine.

I’ll come. I’ll help. And I’ll watch the fireworks with you.

” Fuck. I had no idea how I was going to manage, but seeing her face brighten with that knowing, understanding smile was worth it.

“Colton,” Ember began, her voice a little nervous, her gaze softening.

“I’ve been thinking about everything you told me the other day.

And then tonight, with the fireworks…” She hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip before continuing gently, “Have you ever… have you ever tried talking to someone? Like, a professional?”

I sighed, a dry chuckle escaping me. “My dad just suggested the same thing to me.”

Ember nodded, her eyes earnest. “He’s right, Colton. He really is. Maybe it could help.”

After dropping Ember off at her farmhouse, I drove home, the previous joy of the date slowly being overshadowed by the rising dread about Sunday. I found Dad in the kitchen, reading the newspaper, a bottle of beer beside him.

“Hey, Dad,” I said, tossing my keys onto the counter, grabbing a beer for myself.

He looked up, his brow furrowed slightly. “Everything okay, son? How was your date?”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair.

The memory of Ember in my arms, her touch, the sounds of her moans when she came.

“Yeah. Yeah, it was good. Really good.” I paused.

“Ember asked me to go to the Fourth of July event. To help at their stand and then watch the fireworks.” Pausing again to take a swig of beer.

“I told her I’d go, but… I don’t know if it’s a good idea. The noise, the crowds…”

Dad folded his newspaper, his gaze steady as he searched my face.

He must’ve sensed my fear because he said, “I see. And you’re worried about the fireworks.

The loud noises.” It wasn’t a question. “Colton,” he said, “you need to do what’s best for you.

If it’s too much, it’s too much. Ember will understand.

She’s strong, and she cares about you. She wouldn’t want you to push yourself if it’s going to put you back in a bad place. ”

I ran a hand over my jaw. “Yeah. I just… the noise. It’s a lot. I don’t want to… I don’t want to screw things up.” Leaning forward in the chair, I felt the familiar tightness in my back. My scars felt itchy and there was a shadow pain of a dull throb in my side.

He nodded slowly. “Son, you need to do what’s best for you,” he repeated. “If it’s too much, it’s too much. The last thing you want is a setback. You’ve come so far in the last couple weeks.”

His words were meant to be reassuring, but they only solidified the conflict within me. I wanted to be strong for her. I wanted to be the man she deserved. And that meant doing this for her.

Sunday arrived, bright and incredibly warm. Despite my earlier resolve to back out if it felt too much, the thought of disappointing Ember again gnawed at me. So I sucked it up and got in my truck to head over to the lake.

Our town’s annual Fourth of July celebration was always held at Rose Valley Lake. There was a south side and a north side entrance, the only difference was one side had a boat launch and the other had a cement dock where you could just sit and fish off.

Once I got there, I found a spot to park and shut off the engine.

Getting out, I took a good look around. Whoever was responsible for the decorating this year really went all out.

Everywhere you looked was decorated in red, white, and blue.

For it still being early in the day, there were a lot of people already here.

I noticed they had a wide range of food trucks, rides and games.

The smell of grilling hot dogs and cotton candy in the air had my stomach growling.

It didn’t take long to spot the Carter family stand. Ember wasn’t kidding when she said her mom went all out. They had a colorful array of jams, baked goods, and fresh produce.

Ember spotted me instantly as I approached, her face lighting up with a genuine smile that made my chest ache in the best way. Despite my reservations about being here today, Ember looked radiant.

“Colton!” She came around the stand to give me a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

She pulled back, her eyes scanning the crowd behind me. “Are your parents here? My mom’s excited to talk to her.”

“Yeah, they’ll be here a little later,” I told her, trying to keep my voice casual. “They had a few things to finish up at home first.”

“Oh, ok. Well come on,” she said as she took my hand, pulling me behind the stand.

I spent the afternoon helping out however I could. I waited on customers, carried their boxes to their cars for them, whatever they needed me to do. It felt good, being here, with Ember and her family. But every distant pop, every sudden scream from a kid, made me flinch internally.

Several hours later as the sun was starting to set, I knew Ember hadn’t taken a moment to catch her breath or grab something to eat, so I asked Garrett to hold things down for a couple hours so I could get something in her and spend some time alone with her. Now all I had to do was find her .

I searched everywhere I could think of, and I couldn’t find her. Just as I was about to head back to the stand, I heard someone call my name.

“Colton James? Is that really you?” A saccharine voice asked.

I turned to see Bethany, a girl from high school, all perfectly styled blonde hair and a smile that never quite reached her eyes.

She’d always been… intense. I only went on a few dates with her, but it only took one to know that she was a real bitch.

The only reason we had a few more dates was because at the time Cade was trying to get with her best friend and wanted to double.

But no matter how much I told Bethany there was zero chance of anything happening between us, she never got it.

She’d always had a crush on me, a fact she’d made abundantly clear back in the day.

And her jealousy over Ember was enough to piss me off and not want anything to do with her.

“Bethany,” I said, trying to be polite. People can change, right?

“Oh my gosh, you look amazing!” she gushed, her eyes trailing over my body as her hand found its way to my arm, her fingers squeezing slightly.

Ok, maybe some people can’t change. Bethany apparently hadn’t.

She had a predatory gleam in her eye and before I could stop her, she wrapped herself around me.

“Bethany,” I said, pulling her arms from around my neck.

“Wow, Colton, you’ve really filled out,” she purred, her eyes once again raking over me. She laughed, a high, tinkling sound, and then, before I could react, she pulled me to her, and pressed a kiss on my lips. The smell of her perfume made me want to throw up.

Just as her lips touched mine, I saw Ember from the corner of my eye.

She was walking towards us, a smile on her face, but when she saw Bethany’s hand on my arm, her lips on my lips, her smile vanished.

Her eyes narrowed, and without a word, without seeing my immediate pull away from Bethany, she spun on her heel and disappeared into the crowd.

Fuck.