Page 3 of Edge of Heaven (Crimson Edge #2)

Taryn

“Mommy, when are you coming home?”

Toby sounds tired, which breaks my heart.

“Next week,” I tell him.

His face lights up.

“Can you help me with my fractions? It’s hard.”

“I can try. Math wasn’t my best subject.”

“Grandma doesn’t like it either.” He wrinkles his nose.

“We’ll figure it out,” I promise. “What else are you working on?”

“Cursive.” Another funny face. “It’s hard . Why is Grandma making me learn cursive? And I don’t even get to see my friends anymore now that I’m in this dumb hospital. It’s not fair.”

Every time we have this kind of conversation, it breaks my heart.

It’s so hard to explain why he has to deal with this.

How do you talk about cancer to an eight-year-old?

He knows the basics, but I don’t think he truly grasps the severity of his illness.

And honestly, my mother and I have tried to downplay it because he was only five when he was diagnosed with leukemia.

“I know it’s hard,” I say softly, “but I saw your grades, and you’re doing really well this term.” He’s being home schooled because his immune system is shot during the treatment, so he can’t risk being around other kids who might get him sick.

He’s been a trooper, though, and we’re halfway through the treatment. Six months down, six to go.

But I don’t know which one of us is suffering more.

Honestly, the relationship with Callum was okay for a couple of months.

Then he started going back to his old ways, arguing with me all the time, raising his voice, and calling me names.

Now he’s started with emotional abuse, guilt trips, and the constant reminders about how much my kid is costing him.

I pointed out that he promised he wouldn’t do that, and he hasn’t done it since, but it’s only been a week.

I’m leaving soon and that always brings out the worst in him.

He hates when I’m gone, and I don’t understand it.

He barely acknowledges me when I’m here unless he wants sex, and the rest of the time he either ignores me or talks down to me.

I never thought I’d be one of those women who put up with an abusive man, but here I am.

If it weren’t for Toby, I would be long gone, but I’m caught in the worst kind of catch-22.

If I stay, Callum pays for Toby’s treatment and I don’t have to worry about my child.

If I leave, I don’t know how I’ll keep paying for everything Toby needs.

I don’t have much work lined up—thanks to Callum’s possessiveness—so I’m stuck.

And I’ve never felt more alone.

Even before this thing with Toby started, Callum was one of those guys who talked a good game but didn’t usually come through. Now that he knows he has me over a barrel, it’s a thousand times worse.

I hear the lock of the hotel room door disengage and hurriedly tell Toby I love him. “I’ll see you in less than a week,” I tell him. “I love you.”

“I love you, Mommy!”

I disconnect as Callum walks in with his usual scowl. “What are you doing?” he demands.

“I just hung up with Toby,” I say, pasting what I hope is a sweet smile on my face. “What’s up?”

“Kid doing okay?” he asks gruffly.

“The treatments make him really tired, but otherwise, he seems to be responding well.”

“Good.” He nods. “Anyway, we need to get to the arena early. There are a bunch of record label guys coming in from L.A. They want to do some press and have us sign a bunch of posters. Are you ready to go?”

“Of course.” I stand up and stuff my laptop into my bag. “I’m always ready.”

He rakes his eyes up and down, a smarmy smile on his face as he reaches for the button of his jeans.

“You know what else you’re ready for?” He unzips his jeans and slides them down.

Ugh.

And just like that, he’s back to being a jerk.

I manage not to roll my eyes.

“I thought we had to get going?” I ask instead.

“We have a few minutes.”

“Then I’ll need to fix my makeup when we’re done.”

“I can wait. Now, come on…” He motions to the floor with his hand. “Show me how grateful you are to be my woman.”

I pull in a breath and drop to my knees.

This is for Toby.

I’ll do whatever it takes to help my baby get better.

I wasn’t the best mom when he was born but that changes now.

Six more months and then I’m free.

* * *

Backstage at the arena is mobbed.

Usually, it’s just the band and crew milling around, getting ready for soundcheck and the pre-show meal that’s always provided.

Tonight there are record label reps, radio personalities, and what appear to be contest winners.

I see the women lining up excitedly, wearing as little clothing as they can get away with, hair and makeup done to the nines.

That was me once upon a time.

So desperate to get Callum’s attention.

What a mistake.

I got him and now all I want is to get away from him.

“Things are crazy tonight.” My friend Ryleigh Bell comes up behind me with a grin.

She’s dating Angus Jeffries, the drummer for Crimson Edge, and we’ve been friends since college. We were good friends for a while, but I went home to L.A. as soon as I graduated and we lost touch.

Running into her on tour was fun at first, but now it’s just stressful because Callum doesn’t like her and doesn’t want me to hang out with her. She’s pretty overt about how much she dislikes him, so even though she toned it down a little once I asked her to, there’s no love lost between them.

And he gets cranky when he sees us together.

Luckily, he’s distracted right now, in his element as he lords over the conversation with the DJs and contest winners who are hanging on his every word.

“You doing okay?” Ryleigh asks me as I restlessly shift from one foot to the other.

“Yeah.” I try to keep my tone neutral. “You know how it is with him. I never know if he wants me close or expects me to hang back.”

She purses her lips but doesn’t respond.

“I know,” I say gently. “Please, just leave it alone.”

“I didn’t say anything.” She shrugs, a faint smile playing on his lips. I see a million questions in her eyes, but she’s a good enough friend not to voice them.

“And I appreciate it.” I keep my eyes glued to Callum, watching his body language to try and gauge his level of annoyance.

He seems pretty relaxed, which is nice, but that doesn’t always dictate his behavior.

“Would he be amenable to an article?” Ryleigh asks after a moment.”

“What?” I turn in confusion.

“For Rock Harder .” Ryleigh is a music journalist and Angus recently bought out one of the premier music magazines in the country— Rock Harder —making Ryleigh the managing editor. I don’t know much about what she does on a daily basis, but she’s been excited about it.

“I could do a story about the band, or about Callum specifically. You think that would play to his ego?”

And ostensibly be nicer to me.

That’s the part of this she doesn’t say aloud, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

“He doesn’t like it when I get involved in band business,” I say quietly. “But he probably would like to?—”

“Taryn!” Callum calls my name loudly, making me jump.

“Gotta go,” I whisper to her, hurrying over to Callum.

“What did I tell you about talking to her?” he growls in my ear, yanking me against his side.

“She was asking me if I thought you’d want to do a feature interview for Rock Harder ,” I say quietly. “I told her I don’t get involved in band business, and to ask you directly.”

His grip gentles and he looks down at me approvingly. “For once, you used your brains. Good job. Tell her I’ll get with her either after the show tonight or tomorrow. Right now, I have things to do. You go handle that for me, okay?” He nudges me back in the direction I came from.

He turns back to the group he was talking to before and I walk back to Ryleigh, who lifts one brow questioningly.

“Don’t ask,” I say under my breath. “But he’d love to talk to you about a story in Rock Harder .” My voice is soft, but I know she hears the sarcasm dripping from my tone.

“Will do.” She nods. “Does that mean you’re allowed to talk to me now?”

“Maybe. His possessiveness changes daily.”

“Are you happy, Taryn?” she blurts.

The answer to that would be a resounding no.

But she doesn’t know about Toby.

No one does.

Well, except Mick.

Mick knows things about me no one knows.

And he’s obviously kept those secrets to himself.

I was a dumbass letting him go.

Not that we were ever in a relationship, but we spent three days together doing a photo shoot for a rock and roll themed clothing catalog, and the chemistry was off the charts.

Both in bed and out. But he had music aspirations that kept him in Minneapolis, and I was in college, trying to find my footing as a model.

Our lives were going to take us in opposite directions, so we said goodbye and never looked back.

I can be a dumbass sometimes, but there’s no use crying over spilled milk.

Or the one that got away.

I don’t have time to think about love or dating in general—Callum is all I can handle right now.

Once I’m back in L.A. and get custody of Toby, maybe then I’ll be in a position to meet someone new. Someone who’s nice to me.

Just under six months, I remind myself.

Six more months until Toby finishes the experimental treatment and I go home to L.A. to get custody of him.

It’s time for me to be the mom he deserves, instead of letting my mother raise him.

That was okay when I was sixteen since I had no way to support myself, much less a child, but everything is different now. More than that, he needs me. And my mom needs her life back. She already raised her only child, so it’s time for me to raise mine.