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Mrs Marshal, the most senior of the pew openers, glanced at the vicar and on a nod merged Mr Darcy with Sir William’s flock to begin the exit.

Jane, Elizabeth, and Mary alternated between shaking their heads in wonder and staring at each other as they exited the church right behind the Lucases and Mr Darcy.

Conversation returned to the normal din, then became even louder than usual with everyone speaking about the extraordinary speech. Nobody had ever heard the like.

They had barely made the yard when Mrs Bennet started in. The only thing that saved the three ladies from a need to crawl up a tree and hide, was the fact that Mr Darcy was surrounded by the Lucases, Colonel Forster, a few officers, and the one or two gentlemen Mr Darcy knew.

The ladies almost felt sorry for him and then wondered if he even knew most of the people in the yard.

Even if he had managed to learn who they were, he could not just speak to them without an introduction, and Sir William was unlikely to go out of his way to perform them when he had two unmarried daughters of his own.

Mr Bennet, having some idea of how the rest of the morning was likely to proceed, clamped his hand over his wife’s and half-dragged her out of the Derbyshire gentleman’s hearing, while giving a look to the elder Bennet sisters to follow.

The youngest had already scampered off in search of silliness, and he ignored them as usual.

When they finally came to a stop, Mrs Bennet apparently got a whiff of matrimonial scent with the expected result.

Elizabeth was extremely happy for her father’s rare burst of diligence, as they were mostly out of hearing.

The crowd was noisier and more boisterous than usual—as expected after such a spectacle.

The children skipped off to join in some very noisy games, and everyone else had something to say about the day’s extraordinary turn of events.

Mrs Bennet, held in place by her husband’s hand, played to the only convenient audience.

“ Well! I say! That was quite the performance! Quite the performance, indeed! I must say that Mr Darcy certainly knows how to make an impression… though I must own that before this I could barely stand the sight of him. He slighted Lizzy, you know, and he has been such a rude and ungenerous man… but, Oh My! What an apology. I shall go all distracted. I suppose it is all well and good that he is apologising to society, though little good it will do us; since Lizzy probably tweaked his nose at Netherfield, and she has been doing her best to be in his brown books this last month at the least. I daresay the gentleman might turn out to be quite agreeable once Mr Bingley comes to the point! Jane, dear, you need to make every effort to regain his attention, and for goodness’s sake, leave Lizzy at home next time.

My, oh my! What a fine gentleman. Ten thousand a year and possibly more.

I well think he could be a match for Lydia if Lizzy has not put him off the Bennets entirely!

It is not as if he would look twice at the Lucases…

though we shall have to keep him away from the Goulding sisters, as they are nearly as handsome as our girls but have better dowries.

I know such things are important to a man like that.

Just think… to have Lydia as the mistress of his estate!

Or perhaps Jane should set her sights higher…

no… the bird in the hand and all that. Ooh! Ooh!”

Elizabeth wanted to crawl under a rock, considering the level of the setdown she and Jane had delivered at Netherfield. She wondered if she had any room to quibble about anybody’s manners, and the idea that Mr Darcy would even consider a silly child like Lydia was beyond ridiculous.

With a feeling of impending doom, Elizabeth felt that her mother was entirely capable of trying to throw the two together and thought she might have to kill herself just to avoid seeing it.

The response to her mother’s diatribe shocked her.

“ Mama! Stop this ceaseless speculation! It is most unseemly… even by Bennet standards!” Jane hissed as loudly as she dared, wondering if she would ever live down the mortification and hoping beyond all reason that Mr Darcy was stone deaf.

“Why should I not…”

“Be silent!”

Though the volume of the command was not loud enough to carry even half as far as Mrs Bennet’s voice, the pure, angry stridency momentarily brought the matron to a state of blissful silence.

Everybody knew it was temporary, and she was only in shock, since it was quiet little Mary who had chastised the matron; but their relief was palpable.

Mary continued, surprisingly calmly. “Mother, I do wish you would listen on rare occasions. Right now, Jane does not even like Mr Bingley. Even if she did, the fastest way to get a man to run for his life is to try to oblige him by shoving daughters at him like cattle. Do you truly want to make Mr Bingley the third suitor you have driven away from Longbourn?”

Mrs Bennet finally got her voice back. “I will not be spoken to in that way, Miss High-and-Mighty Mary Bennet. Mayhap you should return to your sermons and let the grown-ups handle this.”

Jane replied equally forcefully. “It is high time you started listening to sense, madam. If you will not listen to Mary, listen to me! Mr Bingley has departed, and even if he had not; I will not have him! That is my final word on the subject.”

As usual, Mrs Bennet ignored anything she did not like, even though her most complacent daughters had turned into tigers overnight.

“I will not entertain such nonsense, Miss Jane Bennet! You are made for Mr Bingley. You could not be so beautiful for nothing!”

Elizabeth stared at Jane, wondering if she would continue to allow such insolence. It turned out she would not.

“Mother… I beg you to listen as I may make myself abundantly clear. I love you and respect you as my mother, but I have had enough! I have had more than enough. I have had twice… thrice… fourfold too much! You have been throwing my supposed beauty around since I was a child and where has it led me? A year or two from a spinster’s cap with no suitor in sight. ”

“Do not talk such nonsense!” Mrs Bennet snapped angrily. “If Mr Bingley has gone off on you, I am certain it is Lizzy’s fault, and you can easily get him back if you would only listen to sensible advice instead of what you get from your sisters or your father from time to time.”

Jane snapped angrily. “Look around, Mama! Open your eyes! Do you see Mr Bingley? Do you see his sisters? The only one present is one who stated outright, in plain unvarnished English, that no Bennet would marry any man of consideration in the world. While he has apparently learnt some manners recently, you cannot possibly imagine a man of his stature would pass over the daughter of a peer to marry a country nobody.”

“Do you know where Mr Bingley is or are you speculating?” Mrs Bennet snapped in growing anger. “He could hardly call on you when you were on your deathbed at home—when you should have been comfortably ensconced at Netherfield if your sister had not dragged you away prematurely.”

Mr Bennet felt he had milked the situation for all the amusement he could get, particularly since Jane’s face was turning red and she had lost enough control to be clenching her fists. Even he could see that his eldest and usually calmest daughter was close to saying something best left unsaid.

He finally stated emphatically, “This is not the time or place for this discussion!”

“No, it most certainly is not,” Mary agreed.

While Mrs Bennet was unlikely to let it go that easily, Mr Bennet was quicker to the mark.

“I forbid this discussion in the churchyard! Besides that, I believe Mr Darcy has barely escaped the Lucases. Perhaps you wish to discuss these extraordinary events or the local gossip with Lady Lucas before our imminent return to Longbourn. My old bones are not fit for a long visit out of doors, so it is now or never.”

Mr Bennet, in a skill honed through decades of practise, led his wife to Lady Lucas’ side, and remained with her.

His daughters were unwilling to speculate whether he wanted to keep his wife under some regulation, or he thought the conversation between the matrons was likely to be more amusing, since he lived to make sport for their neighbours, and laugh at them in their turn?

Elizabeth saw them go with a sigh, wondering if the Bennets had any right to criticise others’ improprieties.

Her mother and younger sisters seemed incapable of proper deportment.

On the other hand, none of the Bennets (except perhaps Lydia) were especially vicious or mean-spirited, so she had to at least give them that.

~~~~~

As soon as Mrs Bennet was out of hearing, Mary spoke.

“We need not discuss our mother’s assertions. I doubt we have heard the last of it. What I want to know is what you think of the Derbyshire gentleman’s—”

She stopped abruptly when Jane signalled her desperately, realising he was probably right behind her.

She turned to face the lion and joined her sisters in a curtsey. “Mr Darcy.”

“Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, Miss Mary. Good morning,” he said with the politest of bows.