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Charles Bingley jumped from his seat and walked beside his good friend, Fitzwilliam Darcy, to follow the ladies from the parlour.

He was gradually working out that Miss Elizabeth must have overheard their conversation earlier.

Even though he did not listen to his sisters half the time, he had to admit any reasonable person who tried to do so would run mad after an hour.

Even though he did not remember exactly what his sisters said (or even half for that matter), what he did remember was not auspicious for a courting man.

Darcy said, “This is on us, Bingley.”

He sighed in frustration. “Much as I would like to point out that your quote was the only one that we could tease out of the gentlest lady I ever met, you know full well what preceded it was far-far worse.”

The ladies were not exactly running, but their preferences were clear, so the men followed two paces behind.

Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth walked down the front steps, looking neither right nor left, and marched over to the broken-down nag the elder sister had ridden to Netherfield the previous evening.

As they approached the mounting block, Bingley rushed ahead to offer, “May I assist, Miss Bennet?” as politely as he could.

“No need, sir,” she said softly. “I have known Simon for many years.”

Bingley saw Miss Elizabeth frown at him as if daring him to punish Simon in some petty way, and he had to sheepishly admit it would be his responsibility to ensure his sister did not.

The fact that he had to worry about such an untoward possibility; and the nagging feeling that Miss Elizabeth could read the thoughts going through his head like a book, was disconcerting.

He looked from Miss Elizabeth to Darcy, saw him frowning, and suspected the same thoughts were going through his friend’s mind.

What an unholy mess!

As Miss Bennet mounted the horse, and Simon checked carefully to ensure she was mounted properly, Darcy walked up to her sister. “Miss Elizabeth, may I offer my apologies.”

Bingley was quick to add, “And mine as well, Miss Elizabeth… Miss Bennet.”

Elizabeth frowned at both men. “For what?”

They heard Jane snort, but thought silence the better part of valour.

“I said some unkind things,” Darcy said.

“Which time?” Elizabeth said, but Jane said, “Liiiizzzzzzzzy!” in a half-threatening tone which distracted from the question.

Darcy scrunched his face trying to work out exactly what she meant, then watched as Bingley leaned over to pinch the bridge of his nose in remembrance. He assumed his friend would tell him later.

Bingley said, “Miss Bennet, I feel as if this visit has gone amiss, and it is my fault… or my responsibility at the very least. Is there aught I can do to make amends?”

Bingley stared at Jane, who was facing away from them on the back of the horse, but she turned to where she could at least look at them from the corner of her eye.

“No amends are necessary. We simply realise we have overstayed our welcome and choose to relocate.”

“I know my sisters said a few unkind things…”

He was interrupted when Elizabeth scoffed hard enough to make Simon startle.

Jane said, “Lizzy, perhaps you might refresh their memories.”

“I would rather not.”

Jane made a bitter laugh. “Actually, you rather would , but you think you should not… which is probably true. You will, however, indulge me.”

In a surprising display of horsemanship, Jane spun her mount around to stare at the two gentlemen unnervingly for a moment. “Simon!”

“Are you certain, Miss Jane?”

“We are safe enough and you should not be here.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, and reluctantly left at a brisk trot.

Once he was out of hearing, though he obviously would not let the ladies out of his sight, Jane stared at Bingley until he squirmed.

Elizabeth sighed, raised her voice to a pitch that would set the dogs howling in the kennels, and repeated a few of her favourites.

“She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild. … She did, indeed, Louisa. I could hardly keep my countenance. Very nonsensical to come at all! Why must she be scampering about the country, because her sister had a cold? Her hair, so untidy, so blowsy! … Yes, and her petticoat; I hope you saw her petticoat, six inches deep in mud, I am absolutely certain; and the gown which had been let down to hide it not doing its office.”

Jane continued staring for a minute before saying calmly, “I have only the experience of one tradesman family to guide me. Our Uncle Gardiner is married to a woman who grew up five miles from Mr Darcy’s estate.

My tradesman uncle would not allow such speech among his sailors and longshoremen at his warehouses, let alone in his home!

Your family apparently adheres to… different standards. ”

Bingley did not particularly enjoy being chastised in his own home, (regardless of how much he deserved it) but he had to admire how she made certain nobody else overheard. “I cannot make the words be unsaid, but I would like to apologise from my heart.”

“To what purpose? Our acquaintance, such as it is, has reached its natural conclusion… or, at least, it would if you would allow us to leave.”

Bingley looked chagrined. “It is nowhere near the conclusion I hoped for.”

Jane stared at him for some time while Darcy stared at Elizabeth with the same look of contrition.

Jane finally sighed. “Perhaps I had hoped otherwise but things do not always work out as people think they ought.”

“They can!” he said in desperation. “Amends can be made. Behaviours can be corrected.”

Jane frowned and thought a moment. “Lizzy, how does Mr Darcy prefer his tea.”

“One sugar and lemon.”

“Favourite play?”

“Macbeth.”

“Plays or sonnets?”

“Plays.”

“Favourite poet?”

“Keats.”

Both men scrunched their heads wondering what point she was making.

Bingley finally replied, “May I ask to what these questions tend?”

“Merely to the illustration of your character. I am trying to make it out.”

“And what is your success?” Bingley asked, feeling vaguely like the conversation was more akin to what Miss Elizabeth and Darcy might share.

Jane shook her head. “Until today, I did not get on at all, but now things are clear. Lizzy could answer those questions about Mr Darcy, even though they can barely stand to share the same room! I would bet a month’s allowance you cannot name my favourite genre, let alone favourite book; even though you actively seek my company while my sister avoids your friend like the plague. ”

Bingley started to speak a couple of times, but each time, Darcy touched his arm as if trying to prevent him from digging his grave even deeper.

Jane sighed. “Gentlemen, if you might allow a bit of impropriety, I will share with you the biggest disappointment of my life. Perhaps it will help you next time.”

Elizabeth looked at her in some alarm, while Darcy thought that with her family, she probably had quite a few to choose from (much like Bingley). It was easier than thinking about Miss Elizabeth avoiding him like the plague.

Both men nodded, perfectly willing to admit (to themselves at least) that they were afraid of Jane Bennet.

“My biggest disappointment is being cursed with beauty. It attracts inconstant men and distracts them when they arrive.”

Bingley and Darcy gulped and stared in consternation.

“If I had the blessing of being merely tolerable , instead of the only handsome girl in the room —you would have treated me as badly as Mr Darcy treats my sister, and this entire debacle could have been avoided.”

Both men gasped at the dawning realisation that far more than one conversation had been overheard in excruciating—and damning—detail.

Elizabeth spent a moment enjoying their discomfort, then made a reasonably elegant curtsey and without another glance, stepped over to Nelly, took the reins, and led the horse from the yard without looking back.