Page 16
Story: Eavesdroppers Never Hear (Pride and Prejudice Variations #4)
Mrs Bennet startled when Mr Darcy appeared in her parlour at the start of calling hours the next day, but she recovered well enough to welcome him cordially.
Once civilities were exchanged, the matron said, “Pray, be seated,” barely refraining from suggesting he choose between Lydia and Jane as a partner, even though she had arranged the seating so there was little choice.
“I fear I will not have leisure for extensive discourse this morning, madam. Miss Elizabeth and I are engaged for a game of backgammon. I shall lunch at the Schotte estate, so I can only stay an hour or so.”
“Oh, that is a shame. We shall have a good meal today.”
“I shall endeavour to avail myself of your hospitality at my earliest opportunity,” he said gently (much to Elizabeth’s approval). “I am engaged with the Schutte’s today and am shooting with the Gouldings and a few other gentlemen tomorrow, but I shall share a meal as soon as might be arranged.”
Mrs Bennet idly wondered when the backgammon challenge was made and accepted (as did Elizabeth) but gamely thought anything that kept the man in the house for an hour was to be commended—even if there was a good chance Elizabeth would drive him away in the end.
Elizabeth said, “I commend your prudence, sir. I am not the player Mary is, so a sensible man would prefer to not be thrashed a second day in a row.”
Darcy laughed, and Elizabeth liked the sound of it.
Jane and Mary did as well, but that was of less importance.
The two youngest Bennet daughters had lost interest in the dour dandy from Derbyshire before the introductions were complete, so they had no opinion.
Mrs Bennet was shocked into silence by the out of character response, while Mr Bennet had no opinion about any mirth insufficient to breach the thick door of his library, since he had not even appeared to greet his guest.
With a bow, Darcy escorted Elizabeth to the backgammon table.
Jane gamely engaged Mrs Bennet in conversation while Mary joined in. Elizabeth assumed Mary thought she needed the practise in keeping her mother occupied, probably assuming Elizabeth’s days in the house were numbered.
The backgammon table was soon set up, and the first few moves were made in near silence until Elizabeth thought the rest of the denizens were sufficiently distant and occupied to give them a modicum of privacy.
“I must say you have thoroughly turned the courtship game on its head… as per your design, I am sure.”
He replied nervously. “What think you of the Modified Darcy Courtship System?”
“I am uncertain. I suppose I will not really know until we are a few moves in. I believe it has been extremely helpful in learning to understand you.”
“How so… aside from the obvious?”
She thought about her answer for some time while they made a few desultory moves on the board just for good form. She finally glanced around to ensure they were unobserved (more or less) and stared at him disconcertingly.
“You have made me responsible for your happiness. I have never been responsible for anything important before,” she said seriously.
“The feeling is somewhere between heady, intimidating, and terrifying—which led me to think about how you must have felt when you were barely Jane’s age and had to take the responsibility for Pemberley.
Of course, you are responsible for hundreds instead of just one…
but still… I think the unexpected acquisition of such burdens must have been disconcerting, regardless of how long you trained for it.
Suddenly, your decisions had consequences beyond yourself.
I have a new appreciation for that. It makes you something more than just another rich blunderbuss. ”
He chuckled. “You are the first woman to call me a blunderbuss to my face. I like it and hope you will continue.”
“I shall endeavour to find more: lunkhead, chowderhead, bacon-brain, addlepate, and so forth.”
“Those are all just synonyms for man ,” he said with a look of faux innocence.
Elizabeth laughed gaily, which did get the room’s attention, but since she felt no compulsion to make them privy, they rolled and made a few more moves… none of which made the slightest sense.
Darcy said, “I do appreciate how you are getting a better sketch of my character. I should, however, point out a couple of minor enhancements to your theory.”
“By all means. The Scientific Method demands refinement.”
“First, one could make a reasoned argument that you have been partially responsible for my happiness since Lucas Lodge… it is just explicit now.”
“Come, come, sir. Can you honestly assert that you would have courted me absent our precipitous exit from Netherfield. I find the idea… unlikely.”
He thought while they made a few more desultory moves.
“I honestly cannot say. At the time I was entirely too caught up in my perceived self-importance and my mistaken belief that pursuing you would violate what I was taught. I hope I would have come to my senses sooner or later, but whether it would be closer to sooner than later is anybody’s guess. ”
He sighed and looked around again. “To your point, had I left the county after Lucas Lodge, I doubt I would have pursued you. Had you stayed a few days at Netherfield to tend your sister, I probably would have. It is all speculative, but our coming together has a feeling of inevitability.”
“So—not really responsible at Lucas Lodge in the end?”
“No, I suppose not. We need a weaker word, but I cannot say what it is.”
She laughed. “There seems little point in debating it to death, unless we wish to use it as a convenient marker for our first lover’s tiff.”
She regretted the forwardness of the suggestion at once, but Darcy laughed softly to relieve her anxiety. “If this is not it, then I look forward to the occasion when it arrives.”
They played a few more moves before she said, “I believe you had a second… refinement to my statement?”
“Yes,” he said, then looked thoughtful before making certain they were unheard again. “It is not obvious, but you said I was responsible for the happiness of hundreds, while you are only responsible for one.”
“Yes, that seems obvious… although you could argue for two if you count me.”
“Therein lies the rub. You see, you are responsible for the happiness of hundreds—or at least, you could be. Pemberley was a happy place when I was a child. The death of first my mother and then my father has made it less so. It is not a tomb, but it is not what it was. It may seem an unfair burden, but I need you to help me bring back that joy.”
“How?” she said, not particularly liking the turn of the conversation.
“My mother spread at least a little bit of contentment wherever she went. Sometimes she helped tenants or villagers with their woes, but often it was simply a listening ear, sensible advice, referment to an apothecary, calling the midwife, or something else beyond my capabilities. My housekeeper makes certain the essential duties of the mistress are performed correctly; but she cannot be Mrs Darcy. She cannot let the people know they are cared for by the family. Beyond that, there were parties, routs, harvest festivals, balls—all those things are beyond my capabilities for obvious reasons, but well within yours. Then of course, there is the matter of launching my sister into society, as well as your own.”
Elizabeth stared at him for quite some time, then finally looked down and made a couple of nonsensical moves just to have something to do.
She finally said, “Such assertions would not seem to help your suit.”
He leaned down and stared at her disconcertingly.
“Would you prefer I diminish what Pemberley requires of Mrs Darcy. It may seem like a great deal, but you are a naturally joyful person, while I am not. As unfair as it seems, I need to have a joyful partner to lean on… to learn from… to help make me the man Pemberley deserves. I desire—no need—a true partnership.”
“And you think I am capable of that?” she asked in great concern.
“Of course! You are capable of that and much more. I believe in you, or we would not be having this conversation.”
“It is a lot to ask from a woman who has never even seen an estate the size of Pemberley, let alone managed it.”
“It is,” he said, making no attempt to diminish the task.
They played a couple more moves before she spoke again. “In another upheaval of courtship customs, we seem to have abandoned the rules of propriety entirely.”
“Good riddance!” he said emphatically. “I prefer blunt honesty.”
She nodded, suggesting the topic was finished.
“Turning the page, you mentioned you were previously looking for someone who was not me. What exactly where you taught to look for in a bride, and why have you abandoned the teachings of your father?”
“I was taught to look for a lady with the fortune, connexions, and background to enhance the family’s wealth and position. That is how it is usually done in our society. Powerful families remain powerful through the centuries precisely because they are careful to enhance it each generation.”
“In case you have not noticed, I am not that.”
“Nobody would argue otherwise. Let me answer your question about why I deviate from my teachings. There are essentially two parts. For the first, if you disregard matters of the heart, the traditional advice is sensible enough. If happiness between a couple were a matter of chance, you may as well take your chances with someone you know has the background and training to succeed… or at least, is more likely to than not. For the same reason you would be reluctant to marry an honourable and prosperous shopkeeper, I was reluctant to marry the daughter of a minor gentleman until I met you.”
Elizabeth ground her teeth together for a moment but then smiled. “My poor deportment manual has most likely burst into flames, but your honesty disarms reproof. It is your best attribute.”
“Not my wealth or handsomeness?” he asked with a sly grin.
“They are not exactly detriments—but they were insufficient before yesterday.”
They laughed awkwardly together.
He continued, “I believe the happiness of a couple enhances their chance to pass success to the next generation. It is about more than wealth and consequence. It is about passing down the skills and abilities to live good lives. I believe if I made a mercenary choice as I was taught, I would raise yet another generation of mercenary children, and the line would degrade over time.”
“That seems sensible enough.”
“Besides that, I am a selfish being and make no bones about it. I cannot distinguish rational discourse about the best choice of a wife; from some fancy I made up because I want to be happy and believe my happiness lies with you.”
“That may be the most romantic thing ever said,” she replied with a slightly embarrassed smile.
“I believe any romantic conversation should end on a high note, so I believe I must take my leave. The Schottes await… which is entirely your fault.”
She stood along with him. “Yes, my fault indeed, but I wish you to understand one thing.”
He nodded.
“I am somewhat intimidated by the responsibilities implicit in your proposal, but I believe I am up to the task.”
“You are!”
“As for me making you into a happier and more social man, allow me to point out something that has escaped your notice. Your relationship with the Schottes, the Gouldings, and the other men you will shoot with tomorrow are entirely your own doing. I may have rolled the rock down the hill, but all I did was a simple introduction that was perfectly available to you the whole time. You are capable of being amiable right now. You do not need me as much as you need to rediscover what you already know. You do not need a second mother… you just need to be reminded what the first one taught you.”
“Perfectly said,” he replied with a smile.
Darcy resisted the temptation to kiss her as he took leave of the other ladies, and when he peeked his head into the library to do the same, and when he put on his coat and gloves, and when she walked him out to his horse.
All those times he resisted—but it was a close thing.
Table of Contents
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- Page 16 (Reading here)
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