Page 9 of Duskbound (Esprithean Trilogy #2)

CHAPTER EIGHT

"Well, it's certainly clear why you didn't lead with that." The words came out sharp, but they didn't match the tremor in my hands, the hollowness spreading in my chest. An ancient thing that consumed everything it touched. Was that what called to me? Was that what lived inside me?

I shot up from my chair, needing to move, to escape the weight of what they were asking of me.

“Fia wait. I know how it sounds.” Vexa’s voice called from behind me. “What you must be feeling?—”

" You don't know anything about what I'm feeling." I spun around, my voice steadier than I felt. "I remember what the shadows felt like in Emeraal. What they did to me." I pressed a hand to my chest, where the shadows Aether had injected me with still stirred beneath my skin. "I nearly lost myself."

The room went silent. Even Aether's perpetual stillness seemed to deepen.

"And it terrifies me," I admitted, the truth of it burning in my throat. "Because what if I walk into that Void and I don't come back out? What if I do, but I'm not myself anymore? What if—" I swallowed hard, voicing the fear that had been growing since the shadows first touched me.

Rethlyn shifted uncomfortably, but Vexa's eyes softened with something like understanding.

Effie just blinked, as if she couldn't quite grasp my insistence. "Well, of course you're something else. That's rather the point, isn't it?"

I turned back away, my mind trapped somewhere between anger and despair. Aether's voice cut through the air, sharp and cold.

"Running won't change what you are."

I pushed through the door into the hallway, needing to escape the weight of their expectations, their certainty, their casual acceptance of what they were asking. But as I walked away, I could feel it—that darkness inside me, shifting and stretching like it was finally waking up. Like it had been waiting all this time for me to acknowledge its presence.

And maybe that was what scared me most of all. Not that I might fail, but that I might succeed. That I might walk into the Void and find out that this was who I was meant to be all along.

The door opened with a hiss from behind me, and I quickened my pace.

“Where are you going?” Vexa called out.

“The stables.”

“But you’re going the wrong way,” Rethlyn chimed.

I paused, and took a deep breath in, trying to control my building anger, slowly turning on my heel and shouldering past them.

But it was Aether who stepped out behind me then, his form looming over mine. His shadows curled in my periphery. I could nearly feel his eyes burning holes in my back, causing the hairs on my neck to stand on end. I wasn't getting slung over anyone's shoulder today.

“Well, this is quite the fit,” he said, his tone dripping with some sick kind of humor. The words sent heat rushing to my face. Esprithe, I hated him. Always lurking around every corner like some deranged stalker. What did the others even see in him? Second in command ? Judgment here in Umbrathia was clearly lacking. I just needed time to think—to fucking breathe. Alone . But his footsteps remained mere feet behind me, scratching across the stone floor—an utterly obnoxious sound. It was as if he thrived on agitating me, like he enjoyed pissing me off. It seemed to be the only time even a hint of amusement touched him.

And he could see my web? No wonder he always knew when to halt me. I couldn’t think of a worse person to have such an ability. And why could he see it?

What is he?

If everyone didn’t leave me the fuck alone, I was going to explode. Without even intending to, I felt my web slam into my vertebrae and begin climbing.

“ Leave us, ” Aether shot towards the rest of them in a predatory tone, and their footsteps halted. “I’ll handle her.”

Handle me?

I tore towards the door, swinging it open before crunching through the stale grass of the lawn, the peak of the stables roof in the distance. Raskr was trotting along the edge of the expanse, near the border wall. I was surprised to see Rethlyn had actually remembered to remove his saddle today.

I prayed that Tryggar would be in the stables—prayed that I would be able to mount him. Either way, I was going to try. It was the only way I could imagine getting a lick of time to myself, with none of the Umbra looming over me. They weren’t idiots, it's not like I could escape in any real capacity. I had no idea where to go, where we even were in regards to the rip—to Sídhe. I didn’t even want to fly. I just wanted to get away from this place for a single fucking moment. My eyes shot to the ashen landscape of the world beyond the wall. I wanted to go there .

“You walk up behind a Vordr like that and you’re going to get kicked in the face,” Aether spoke, somehow already directly behind me.

“Wonderful. A coma is just what I need to have a few blissful moments away from you.” I didn’t slow my stride.

“You’re more likely to get killed by a Vordr kick than the Void,” Aether remarked calmly, like it was a known statistic.

“Doesn’t sound promising,” I tossed back, looking through the stalls for Tryggar.

“So you’re a coward then? Like the rest of your realm.”

I nearly choked on the audacity. “We’re the cowards? You hide behind shadows. ”

“Of course you’re a coward. The truth is literally slapping you in the face and you still run from it—still try to deny it. What’s happening here.” His voice turned dark.

“I’m not running from anything except you . I need to think. I need to process all of this. You won’t give me a single moment of space.”

“I gave you six weeks of space,” he offered. I could almost feel his shoulders shrug.

“Imprisonment is not space.” I finally turned towards him, almost slamming into his broad frame. My voice turned into a low growl. “Leave me alone.”

“I won’t. Not until you agree to work with us.”

“I know you’re probably used to ordering everyone around, but it’s not going to work with me. This will be my decision. I’ve had my choices taken away from me before. I will not do that again,” I fired back as he arched his brow.

That seemed to stun him momentarily.

“Tryggar!” I cupped my hands around my mouth and called out into the sky. Vordr were flying across the horizon, but they were so far, I couldn’t make out if Tryggar was among them. I didn’t even know if he could hear me.

A chuckle sounded from behind.

“You can’t even mount him.” His words were laced with that dark amusement once again. I needed that silver Vordr to drop down. Now. Preferably on Aether’s head.

“Watch me.” I shot him a sickeningly sweet smile, followed by my two middle fingers.

Aether’s chuckle deepened, his golden eyes narrowing with a predatory gleam. “Oh, this should be good.” He crossed his arms and leaned casually against the stable door, as if settling in to witness a spectacle. “Don’t let me stop you, then. Go ahead. Call your beast.”

I bit back a retort, refusing to give him the satisfaction. Instead, I scanned the horizon again, my heart pounding in frustration. “Tryggar!” I shouted, louder this time. The sound of flapping wings answered faintly in the distance, and I squinted, catching a glimpse of silver cutting through the gray sky. Relief swept through me.

“Your negotiating skills aren’t nearly as powerful as you imagine them,” I said.

His lip twitched, but he didn’t bite. Instead, he straightened, stepping closer. Too close. “This isn’t about power,” he said, his voice low. “It’s about survival. You think you’re running from me, but you’re running from what you are. And Duskbound don’t just absorb the Void, they command it. They keep it contained. If you could go five minutes without having a tantrum, perhaps someone could explain it to you properly.”

I laughed, bitter and sharp. “Oh, please enlighten me, Aether, because so far, all I’ve heard is cryptic nonsense and demands. If I’m so crucial—if you’re running out of time, then why the fuck did you keep me isolated in a tower for six weeks? ”

He tilted his head, studying. “I wanted to break you,” he said simply, his tone unnervingly calm. “You were so blinded by the lies from your realm. You needed to fall apart so we could even attempt the truth.”

“Break me?” I snapped, taking a step closer. For a moment, we were almost nose to nose, his shadow spilling over me. “You disgust me.”

His eyes darkened further, the corners pooling with inky droplets. “The truth is, you’re already part of this. Whether you want to be or not. I don’t care if I disgust you. I don’t care if you want me dead. If you weren’t the key to saving this realm, I would have already ended you. Entitled and selfish. Everything about you is revolting to me. So don’t worry, Princess, we’re on the same page there.”

Before I could fire back, a loud screech broke the tension. Tryggar’s massive form swept down, wings outstretched as he landed heavily on the ground, scattering dust and stale grass in his wake. His gleaming silver coat caught what little light the sky offered, and his dark eyes locked onto me.

“Finally,” I muttered, taking a tentative step toward him.

Aether’s chuckle returned, soft and maddening. “Go on, then. Show me.”

I ignored him, focusing on Tryggar. The Vordr’s gaze was sharp, as if he could feel the tension he had just sliced through. My hands shook, but I stretched one out cautiously. “Tryggar,” I whispered.

The beast huffed, his breath warm and smelling faintly of ash. He leaned forward slightly, just enough for me to brush my fingertips against his snout.

Behind me, Aether’s voice was like a dagger. “Careful now. He can smell fear.”

I shot him a glare over my shoulder. “You’re not helping.”

“I’m not trying to,” he said, eyes shining .

“Come on,” I murmured to the beast, gesturing toward the opening. “In here.”

Tryggar snorted, his massive hooves crunching against the ground as he hesitated. He didn’t move toward me, but he didn’t fly away, either. Stubborn Vordr.

I spotted a saddle resting on a nearby rack, plain and worn but serviceable, and hauled it down, staggering slightly under the weight. Dragging it toward the mounting platform, I climbed the stairs. “Tryggar!” I called again, my voice softer this time, more pleading. The Vordr’s shadow filled the doorway as he peered inside

“You’re going to spook him,” Aether warned. He was closer now. “Or hurt yourself. Honestly, this is painful to watch.”

“Then stop watching,” I snapped, fumbling with the straps. Tryggar shifted uneasily, his tail lashing behind him, but he didn’t pull away.

“That’s an interesting technique.”

“Shut up,” I muttered through gritted teeth, yanking the strap tighter. Tryggar huffed, and I winced, bracing for him to take off into the lawn. But instead, he stilled, his dark eyes boring into mine. My hands were trembling as I stepped onto the mounting platform.

“Alright Tryggar, we’re going to go for a ride,” I said, giving him a simple nudge.

“This should be good,” Aether said.

I ignored him, gathering every ounce of bravery I had. Our last interaction had gone so well, but that was on the ground. I didn’t know how he would react to being mounted. I took a deep breath and tried to shake off the nerves.

Okay, you can do this.

Three… Two… One…

With a clumsy but determined leap, I threw my leg over Tryggar’s back, settling into the saddle. It wasn’t graceful—far from it. I nearly toppled over, and my foot caught awkwardly in the stirrup. But I stayed on.

Tryggar shifted under me, wings rustling, but he didn’t throw me. I exhaled sharply, relief washing over me as I straightened.

“That’s a good Vordr,” I said, surprised. I reached down and gave him a pet along his cheek. “Now, take me away from this man.”

Tryggar snorted, and it almost sounded like a laugh. He took one step forward and hesitated, as if adjusting to my weight. But then took another, and another until we were out of the stable.

“Look at her go,” Aether said evenly.

Tryggar kept a steady trot further onto the lawn. It only then occurred to me that Vexa and I hadn’t gotten this far in our Vordr riding lessons. How exactly… was I supposed to steer this giant animal?

"Alright. I’m impressed,” Aether admitted, though his tone was maddeningly flat. “Now bring him back and practice the dismount.”

“The field?” I asked the beast nicely, but his eyes were set on the stone wall. I heard Aether’s footsteps crunching from behind.

“Going flying, are you?” Aether’s tone sounded vaguely like a hiss. My stomach tightened as I followed Tryggar’s gaze, realizing with growing horror that flying was exactly what the beast intended. Oh, Esprithe. A part of me wanted to cave and ask for help, for instructions, for anything to stop this.

“As I said before,” Aether sighed. “Completely insufferable.”

I was just about to turn my head, to beg him to intervene when something slammed into me. Hard. The force knocked the air from my lungs, and I staggered, nearly sliding off the saddle.

The sudden movement startled Tryggar. The Vordr reared up with a sharp hiss, and I latched onto the saddle's horn and held on for dear life as his hooves clawed at the air before slamming down. The ground shook beneath his weight, muscles rippling like waves .

“What did you do?” I hissed.

“You’d better hold on,” Aether murmured, his breath brushing my ear.

I didn’t think. I just reacted, driving my elbow into his side with as much force as I could muster. He merely grunted softly in response.

Before I could tell him off, Tryggar lunged forward, tearing across the lawn at top speed. Aether’s arms wrapped around me, locking me firmly against his chest. The rough leather of his armor scraped against my back, and my hair whipped wildly in the wind, lashing against his face. Good . I hoped it stung.

“You’re too close,” I muttered through gritted teeth, trying not to gag at the proximity.

He didn’t say a word, but I could feel the subtle rise and fall of his chest, like he was suppressing something bigger than a chuckle—a full, unrestrained laugh.

A scream caught in my throat as Tryggar bounded onto the inclining platform and launched himself skyward. The force of the leap sent my stomach into my boots. His wings unfurled in a thunderous snap, catching the wind.

The ground fell away beneath us in a rush, the world shrinking as Tryggar’s wings sliced through the sky. The air hit me like a whip, dragging my breath in ragged bursts. I should have been terrified, my mind screaming for the safety of solid ground, but all I could hear was the thundering of my pulse in my ears. And for the first time in too long, I felt a tug at the corners of my lips.

I had been suffocating. Every moment of silence, every second spent locked away in that tower, had smothered something inside me, something I hadn’t known I was losing until now.

This felt like freedom, even if it was just the illusion of it. The kind that made my chest ache. For a brief second, I felt a surge run through me, something like lightning coursing through my veins. And then it became clear—I had forgotten how to feel at all. The air was different up here. I felt weightless—I felt alive .

My fingers tightened around Tryggar’s saddle as he banked, soaring higher. The ground was a memory now. The city we were leaving in the dust, the walls I had once been trapped behind—they didn’t exist anymore. Not up here.

It felt like the first time I had truly breathed in months.