Page 45 of Duskbound (Esprithean Trilogy #2)

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

Vexa pulled me into a hug that nearly crushed my ribs. "I still think you're insane," she muttered, but her arms tightened. "Try not to get yourself killed."

When she finally released me, Effie was there, tears already forming in her eyes. "We just got you back," she said, wrapping her arms around me. "And now you're walking straight into their territory again."

"I'll be fine." I tried to sound more confident than I felt. The weight of what I was about to do pressed against my chest—return to Sídhe, to the Guard I'd once learned to be proud of.

Vexa's violet eyes narrowed at Aether. "You better bring her back in one piece."

His jaw tightened, but he gave a slight nod. I watched as the others mounted their Vordr, the arcanite secured between them in makeshift harnesses. The crystals' white glow pulsed steadily, a reminder of what we'd accomplished. What we still had to do.

As they took to the sky, the reality of my choice settled over me. I was choosing to return to the realm I'd been taken from, to face the very people I'd once defended. But watching the Umbra disappear into the darkness, their forms growing smaller against the stars, I knew I'd made the right choice.

"We should find a better place to make camp," Aether said, scanning the darkened landscape. "Somewhere more defensible."

I nodded, already moving toward Tryggar. The silver Vordr lowered his massive form, allowing me to climb onto his back with far more grace than my first attempts. A small victory, but one that made me smile despite everything.

Aether mounted Nihr beside me, and we took to the sky, keeping low enough to study the terrain beneath us. Moonlight caught the waves in the distance, and I realized we were nearing the coast. As we flew closer, a cliff came into view, its face dropping sharply to a sandy beach below.

"There," I called out, pointing to the ledge. The elevation would give us a clear view of any approach, and the ocean at our backs meant one less direction to watch.

Aether guided Nihr down, and Tryggar followed, his wings sending bursts of cool air across my skin as we landed. The cliff offered a strange sort of beauty—wild and untamed, like everything else in this place. Below, waves crashed against the shore in a steady rhythm that felt almost hypnotic.

I slid off Tryggar's back and began unloading the supplies Raven had managed to find for me—a few blankets, some dried meat, a worn leather pouch filled with basic survival gear.

Before I could finish, Aether appeared at my side, his hands already gathering the supplies from my arms. "I'll handle this."

I couldn't help but notice the flex of muscle in his forearms as he collected everything, the way his shoulders stretched beneath his leather uniform.

"Careful now," I said, fighting a smile. "One might mistake you for a gentleman."

He shook his head, but I caught the semblance of a grin playing at his lips as he brushed past me and began setting up camp. After arranging the blankets, he dragged a few fallen logs from the treeline, arranging them near the cliff's edge before handing me the fire starter.

"I'll be back," he said simply, already heading down the slope toward the beach. "Think you can handle it?"

"I'll manage."

I rolled my eyes and began positioning the logs, working to create a proper fire pit. As I struck the flint against steel, my gaze drifted to the path he'd taken. I told myself I was just being vigilant, keeping track of his location, but then he pulled his shirt over his head and my eyes widened.

Heat slid across my face as he stripped off his leather pants, leaving him in only black undergarments. I told myself to look away. I should definitely look away . But I couldn't tear my eyes from him as he waded into the water, sword in hand.

The fire crackled beside me, finally catching, and I forced myself to turn back to it. A laugh escaped my lips as I arranged more kindling, wondering what the others would think if they could see the fearsome Umbra warrior now, hunting for fish in his underclothes.

Some time later, the sound of boots on grass made me look up. Aether stood there, fully dressed again, his sword skewered with four decent-sized fish.

"What?" I managed, taking in the sight.

"We're not wasting the opportunity to eat something recently alive," he said, giving me a knowing look that made my stomach flip—though that might have been from the thought of actual fresh fish after months of dried grains.

I could barely contain my excitement as he knelt by the fire and began preparing them, his movements practiced as he cleaned and gutted each one.

"Where did you learn all of this?" I asked, watching him work .

"You've seen my cabin." He positioned the fish over the flames. "It's where I spent most of my time before the drought."

I turned toward the coast, where the darkness of the ocean met the star-filled sky. Somewhere beyond that horizon lay Sídhe, and whatever awaited us there. The thought sent a chill down my spine that had nothing to do with the night air.

The smell of cooking fish drew me back to the present. Aether pulled one from the fire, testing its flesh with his fingers before handing it to me in a cloth. Steam rose from the crispy skin, and my mouth watered at the sight. This entire night felt surreal, sitting under the stars, the ocean air swimming in my lungs, the feeling of solitude—of being free in this untamed land.

I took a careful bite, and warmth flooded through me. The meat was flaky and perfect, seasoned with nothing but smoke and salt from the ocean. A sound escaped my throat—something between a laugh and a moan of pleasure.

"Good?" Aether asked, and when I looked up, that dimpled smile had returned.

I was too busy taking another bite to respond. We ate in comfortable silence, the crackling fire and rhythmic waves our only company. I couldn't remember the last time I'd tasted something this fresh. It felt like being alive again after a very long sleep.

My eyes drifted to Aether as he ate, watching how his jaw worked, the way his full lips pressed together between bites. The firelight caught his features, dancing across the sharp planes of his face, and I found myself remembering the mines. How close he'd been, his fingers sliding into my hair, his breath warm against my mouth. How for one charged moment, he'd almost kissed me. How I'd almost let him. How I’d wanted it.

Heat rushed to my face and I forced my attention back to my food. What was wrong with me? We had bigger concerns than whatever this thing was between us—this pull I couldn't quite understand or ignore. And yet I couldn't stop my gaze from finding him again, couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if those whistles hadn't echoed through the tunnels.

When we finished, I leaned back on my hands, staring into the flames. "Thank you," I said softly. "You're a terrific cook."

"When you live alone in the woods, you learn to make do." He tossed another piece of wood onto the fire. "But I'll take that rare compliment."

"Is that what you prefer? Being alone?"

His golden eyes found mine across the flames. "For a long time, yes."

Something in his tone made my heart skip. "And now?"

"Now..." He seemed to consider his words carefully. "I'm not so sure."

I pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. "It must have been peaceful though. Before all of this."

"It was quiet," he agreed. "But I'm learning there's a difference between peace and emptiness."

The waves crashed below us, filling the silence that followed. I watched as shadows danced beneath his skin, wondering if he was even aware of them anymore.

"Did you ever get lonely?" The question slipped out before I could stop it.

"Loneliness requires knowing what you're missing." His voice was soft, almost distant. "And I didn't, not then."

A part of me wanted to push further, but something held me back as we prepared the bedding for sleep. I wasn't sure how much time had passed as we lay there, side by side, staring up at the endless expanse of stars. A strange tension hummed between us, but beneath it was something else—a feeling of safety I hadn't experienced since being taken from Sídhe. Maybe even before that.

"Is it strange?" Aether asked, his voice low. "Being here, in Riftdremar? "

I considered his question, watching as clouds drifted across the moon. "It's different from what I imagined. Seeing all this regrowth, all this life..." I paused, letting out a breath.

The words had barely left my mouth when guilt churned in my stomach. Here I was, finding comfort in this deserted paradise while his realm withered, while his people suffered in overcrowded streets.

"I just realized how insensitive that sounded."

"It's not," he said quietly. "Just because Umbrathia is dying doesn't mean the rest of the world should."

I turned my head to look at him, studying his profile in the starlight. "I feel like such a fool." The admission came easier than I expected. "When things began changing in Sídhe, when the realm started prospering, I never questioned it. Not like I should have."

"I don't know why you would." He paused, and I could hear him choosing his next words carefully. "At the bonfire, when I overheard you... it didn't exactly sound like your life there was that great to begin with."

"No, it wasn't." The memory of that night, of spilling my secrets to people I'd barely known, made something twist in my chest. "But it was nothing like what the Kalfar are experiencing. I was privileged compared to that."

Aether reached over, taking my hand in his. He turned it palm-up, studying the Riftborne branding in the firelight. "I'm sure this made it rather difficult."

"Well, it served its purpose." I smiled wearily. "But we wore gloves most of the time."

"We?" His eyes found mine, a curious glint crossing them.

"Osta and me." Warmth spread in my chest at the memory. "My best friend. Well, I guess she's more like a sister than anything else. We grew up in a group home. Then when we finally moved out, we got an apartment together. Stayed that way until she got a job with a noble family and I was stationed out West." I let out a small sigh. "You'd like her. Everyone does."

"I'm not sure I trust your judgment." He laughed softly.

I shot him a look. "Wise observation. I'm here with you, after all."

We both laughed, and a comfortable silence fell between us as we returned our gaze to the stars. The fire crackled beside us, sending sparks dancing into the night air.

"You know, I haven't seen the stars in years," he said after a while.

"Not in Sídhe, when you cross the rip?"

He paused. "We were never there for long, and I've never looked up."

I studied his face, the way his golden eyes reflected the starlight, an almost childlike wonder softening his sharp features.

"There's something I've been curious about," I said, breaking the silence.

He turned to look at me. "What's that?"

"The sirens called you ‘Realm Crasher,’" I said carefully, "and it made me remember that first night in the tower. You said something about crashing down into this realm." I paused, watching his expression. "I hadn't thought about it much until that day when they said it in the cave."

Aether looked up again, twisting his mouth. For a moment, I didn't think he would answer.

"I told you I only had one memory of my past life," he finally said. "But that's not entirely true. I remember falling. For a long time."

"Into the Void?" I asked, something tugging at the edges of my memory.

"The darkness was overwhelming. I thought for sure I'd die in there, but death never came for me. "

I sat up, realization hitting me. "I dreamed that," I whispered, the memory suddenly clear.

"Exactly how many times have you dreamed about me?" That familiar smirk played at his lips, but something in his eyes remained serious.

Heat rushed to my face and I turned away. "It is strange," I admitted.

Neither of us said anything for a long moment.

"I have that dream nearly every night." His voice had lost its teasing edge, replaced by something almost haunted.

"And you know nothing else about where you're from?"

"Sometimes I feel things, like I'm being pulled somewhere, but it vanishes quickly."

Silence settled between us, broken only by the crackle of the fire and the distant sound of waves.

"Why did you not take the position as commander?" I asked, wondering if I was pushing too far.

Aether's expression turned thoughtful, his brow furrowed as he stared up at the stars.

"Wherever I'm from..." he finally said, his voice low, "I was cast out. There must have been a reason for that. Something I did." A flicker of pain crossed his face, gone so quickly I almost missed it. "A part of this life feels like a chance at redemption." He paused, taking a deep breath. "I don't think someone like that should be leading others."

"You speak of redemption like it's religious," I said quietly. "I thought you didn't give much interest to the thought of a higher power."

"Not all redemption is for the sake of the gods, Fia." He turned to look at me, and something in my chest fluttered at the way he said my name.

"The gods?" I arched a brow.

"The Esprithe, I guess. "

"For an instant in Draxon, I wondered if you were one of them." The admission slipped out before I could stop it. "I'd never seen anything like that. What you did."

"I've never done that before." Something dark passed over his face. "Not in this life, at least."

The weight of his words settled between us, and I realized how much guilt he carried, how much uncertainty about his own past plagued him.

"So none of the others know?" I asked softly.

"They know I can manipulate matter, but they don't know the extent."

"It felt like more than that. The pressure inside that room changed completely. Like I was being dragged under the ocean."

"I'm sure you've seen greater gifts," he said, deflecting. "The Sídhe Guard seems to have no shortage of them."

"Not like yours," I said, thinking back to my time in the Guard. "There were some unique gifts in the team I'd been part of. One of my friends can create lightning. Another can paralyze people with just a drop of his blood."

Aether went quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was flat. "Is that the one you were talking about at the bonfire?"

My eyes widened as I recalled everything he'd heard me say about Laryk that night. "No. Not him."

"He sounded like a prick."

"Coming from you?" I laughed, though it felt awkward in my throat.

The silence that rolled past felt heavier than before.

"Have you dreamt of him?" Aether finally asked.

I contemplated how to answer, a sinking feeling settling in my stomach. "I have," I said softly, then paused. "He thinks I'm still alive."

Something violent crossed Aether's eyes, all trace of amusement draining from his face. And suddenly, I felt like we were entering dangerous territory.

"Are you in love with him?" His voice was cold.

The question shocked me, and before I could even think it through, I heard myself whisper, "I thought I was."

"And now?" His words were clipped, but there was an undercurrent of something in his tone that I couldn't ignore. Something that sounded like hope.

Guilt churned in my stomach as I thought about it—about how distraught Laryk had seemed in my dreams, how certain he'd been of my return. I hadn't let myself think about any of this in so long, and now that I did, I found myself more confused than ever.

"I don't know," I finally said.

The silence that followed felt barren. The wind sent a chill across my skin and I tucked my hands beneath my head. A part of me wanted to be closer to him, to absorb that endless warmth, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Something had changed. I could feel the energy shift between us, and for a moment, I regretted answering his question at all.

Aether turned over, his back to me. "We need to get some rest."

A strange panic fluttered in my chest at his withdrawal. Suddenly, I wanted to be back in Ravenfell. In his bed, with his arms wrapped around me like armor. An armor that, perhaps, I’d just broken with an admission I wasn’t even sure was true.

That feeling followed me into a restless sleep.