Page 39 of Duskbound (Esprithean Trilogy #2)

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Our boots hit the worn stone path as we left the stables. Vexa burst through a side door, looking nothing like herself. Her violet eyes were glassy from lack of sleep, and she was missing several of the piercings that typically dotted her features—something I'd never seen from her before, even at her most casual.

"Where have you two been?" Her voice came out hoarse, as if she'd been shouting. "Urkin is furious."

"Well, he's about to be even more furious once we speak to him." Aether was already striding toward the Citadel.

"You can't right now, he's been called into a Council meeting in Stravene. He left an hour ago." The words tumbled out as she tried to match his pace.

Aether stopped and we shared a knowing look as my stomach twisted. The Council already knew. Fuck . Aether trudged back over to us and I noticed how he positioned himself closer than before, his tensed forearm grazing against me.

Vexa's tired eyes darted between us. "Did something happen? In Draxon?" She lowered her voice. "You were gone way longer than we agreed on. And Aether, you could have let us know you were going with her."

I tugged at my sleeve, trying to cover the bandages that wrapped my arm, suddenly aware of how exposed I felt. "There were, erm, complications."

Her gaze locked onto the movement, then shot to Aether. Understanding dawned on her face, followed immediately by rage.

"What did he do?" The words came out as a growl, her hands curling into fists.

I opened my mouth, but how could I even begin to explain? The feeding, the darkness, the way Aether had torn them apart? The political chaos we'd just unleashed?

"We can't discuss it here." Aether's tone left no room for argument. "Later."

Vexa's fingers tapped against her weapon belt, but she nodded, though the anger didn't leave her eyes.

"What happened at the rip?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

Her expression shifted from fury to something that made my stomach drop.

"That's the other thing." She gave Aether a pained look before turning toward the medic's wing, her steps dragging against the path. "Come with me."

The infirmary door creaked open to reveal two occupied beds. Effie and Theron sat propped against pillows, their faces drawn and pale. I rushed to them, questions tumbling out before I could organize my thoughts.

"We're fine," Effie managed, but her eyes darted past me, exchanging a look with someone I couldn't see .

I turned to find Mira and Rethlyn seated in an alcove near the entrance, both looking like they'd been dragged through something unimaginable. Rethlyn met my gaze and gave a slight nod, but something in his expression made my stomach clench.

My eyes swept the room again, counting faces, and understanding hit me like a physical blow.

Aether's dark form cut through the room toward the back. I followed without thinking, my feet carrying me forward even as dread built in my chest. He reached a privacy curtain, yanking it back with enough force to rattle the rod above.

A lanky figure lay face-down on the bed, a white sheet draped across his lower half.

Lael.

Aether knelt beside the bed, his shoulders rigid as he examined the boy. The skin across Lael's back was raw and blackened, split open in places where something had torn through flesh. Some areas had begun to blister and weep, while others remained blackened and tight. The damage continued down his arms, disappearing beneath the sheet.

Aether shot to his feet, pacing back to the center of the room. "What happened?" The words came out as a growl.

I heard shifting as a few seconds dragged past.

"It's like they were waiting for us," Rethlyn's voice finally carried from behind.

"They were on us in an instant, faster than any of us could even think," Vexa snarled. "And something was different this time. They didn’t respond to the shadows in the same way. Like being robbed of their breath was no longer a deterrent."

Her words sent daggers straight through me. That's what Laryk had meant when he said the Guard had a new strategy. I caught my balance on the railing beside Lael.

“The breathing tonics,” I whispered as I turned back to the room.

“What?” Vexa asked as all eyes fell upon me.

“Something that Sídhe was developing.” I swallowed hard, wanting to leave Ma out of it. “It’s how I was able to break out of your holds on the lawn in Emeraal.”

Everyone stared at me in silence. Everyone except for Aether, who kept his back to me as his shoulders rose and fell in ragged fashion.

“I guess they’ve been able to mass-produce them,” I said again, my eyes meeting the floor as guilt slammed through my chest. I stepped back a few feet.

“What do these tonics do?” Effie asked, her voice having dropped a few octaves.

“They allow one to go for much longer periods of time without needing to breathe.”

Realization washed over the group as the silence stretched on. No one moved, and Aether still never turned to look at me.

“Thank you for telling us,” he finally said, his voice so low I almost missed it.

A gurgling noise came from Lael, and I rushed back to his side, Aether trailing close behind. But he lay unchanged, his chest rising and falling slowly, a peaceful expression on his face which remained untouched by the damage.

"The medics don't know why he hasn't woken up yet," Effie's voice cracked.

"What do we do?" Something dark threaded through Aether's words.

I could practically hear the desperation churning in the air, mirroring the hollow dread that now filled my veins. But no one answered for a long moment.

"I don't know." Vexa's response was heavy with exhaustion.

"The scars..." Mira trailed off. "The medics aren't strong enough to erase them. Those types of burns... "

"Burns?" I gripped the bed frame as I stood, turning to face the room.

The others had shifted closer together. Effie perched on the edge of her bed while Theron held his head in his hands. Mira remained in her chair as Rethlyn stood, but Vexa now separated them from Aether, her fingers working anxiously at her weapon belt.

"They came at us with everything," Rethlyn said, drawing his arms up in submission. "But we saw the fire first."

The name formed in my mind before I could stop it.

An ex-team V member. A fire-wielder. And a bigoted asshole.

Baelor Soleil.

"Lael lost control of his spectre form," Effie choked out. "He turned to run, to get back to the rip."

He had done just as Aether had instructed. My eyes blurred and I tried to blink away the tears, but it was to no avail, they already slid down my face. I returned my gaze to Lael as a sob threatened my chest. If we had been there…

"We carried him out, rushed back here." Vexa's voice cracked. "The entire thing was pointless and reckless. We didn't get any of the information we were sent to retrieve. We should have never gone. Urkin should have never made that call."

"We're having an emergency meeting. First thing in the morning." Aether shoved past them all, the door slamming behind him with enough force to rattle the glass. Silence fell as a few of them raced off after him. I wasn't sure who still remained in the room, if anyone. I could hear nothing apart from the steady sound of Lael's breathing.

I pulled a chair close to his bedside after a few moments. As I reached up to brush his hair back, my fingers caught on something. A leaf, vivid green against the white pillow.

I scanned my eyes along his hair, down his shoulders and back to his neck, peeking under his chin to find a few more leaves sticking out from under him.

That's when I noticed the marks on his neck, like something had been wrapped around it. Ligature marks, partially hidden by the burns but clear enough on the unmarred skin. He had been strangled.

I looked down at the leaf again, and my entire body went still.

Briar.

The leaf crumpled in my fist as understanding crashed through me. My friends had been a part of this. And Baelor Soleil was back on team V.

Sleep wasn't just elusive—it was fucking impossible. Every time I closed my eyes, Valkan's milky gaze was there, watching me bleed. My skin crawled with phantom sensations—steel biting into flesh, blood running down my arms, that sickening drip drip drip onto stone floors as hungry mouths leeched me. I paced my room like a caged animal, but the memories followed. They wouldn't leave.

Aether.

The thought hit me like a whip, stopping me mid-stride. His quarters weren't far—just up a few levels. But the idea of appearing at his door, of admitting I couldn't handle this on my own... My chest constricted, shame burning hot beneath my skin.

He'd been so devastated earlier after what we saw in the infirmary. What if he rejected me, needing to be alone? That would be fair. It's not like he owed me anything. But even worse, what if he blamed me for what happened to Lael—for abandoning the mission and taking him with me? If it weren't for me, he'd have been there, and none of that would have happened. Lael wouldn't be hurt. I bit my lip, eyes drawn to the stone floor beneath my feet. He must think it. Because I was beginning to think it, myself.

Beyond that, I didn't want to need him.

I'd spent my entire life convincing myself I didn't need anyone. Proving I could survive without being dependent on another person. And now what? I was going to go running to him because I couldn't close my eyes without re-living those horrors? Others had suffered far worse.

My vision blurred, and I slammed my eyes closed. No . I wouldn't cry.

A blade dragged across my collarbone—sharp, cold, real . I stumbled back, crashing into the wall as my hands flew to my throat. The metallic scent of blood filled my nose, but when I pulled my fingers away, they were clean. My heart slammed against my ribs as I stared at my trembling hands. Not real not real not real.

I can't. I can't do this.

The corridors were silent except for my bare feet against stone. Each step up to his quarters felt like admitting defeat, and I almost turned around twice. My heart wouldn't slow down, wouldn't let me catch my breath properly, but I'd rather die than let anyone see me like this. Anyone except?—

When I reached his door, I stood there like an idiot, hand raised to knock. This is ridiculous. You're ridiculous. But before I could retreat, the door swung open.

Aether filled the doorway, and for a moment, my racing thoughts stilled. He looked different without the Umbra uniform—just simple dark sleep clothes, his hair pushed back from his face. Those golden eyes widened slightly as they found mine, and I saw the exact moment concern replaced surprise.

"I—" My voice came out shaky and small, and I hated it. Hated how my hands wouldn't stop trembling, how the walls felt like they were closing in. I tried for something witty, something to prove I wasn't falling apart, and I even opened my mouth in an attempt, but no words came.

"Come in," he said quietly, like he understood everything I couldn't say.

Heavy black curtains blocked out the eternal twilight, wrapping everything in darkness that should have been suffocating but somehow wasn't.

The whole space smelled like him—rain and smoke, with hints of weapon oil. Something in my chest loosened slightly at the familiar scent. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to stop the trembling that wouldn't quite go away.

"I don't usually..." I started, then stopped. Don't usually what? "I'm sorry," I finally managed.

"Why are you here, Fia?" His voice was quiet, but there was something else there. Concern, maybe. Or understanding.

The question hit harder than I expected. I stared at the weapons on his wall, unable to meet those golden eyes. "I can't sleep." My voice came out smaller than I meant it to. "I didn't want to disturb you, with Lael and everything, but..."

I couldn't finish. Couldn't admit that every time I closed my eyes, I was back there. In Draxon. That I'd spent hours trying to convince myself I was being ridiculous, that I was stronger than this. That I'd only come when the alternative became unbearable.

Something shifted in his expression. He didn't move closer, didn't offer empty comfort. He just nodded.

"I can sleep on the floor," I added quickly. "I just... can't be alone right now."

"You're not sleeping on the floor. Take the bed," he offered, striding over to a worn leather couch in the corner of the room. "I'll sleep here."

I watched as he grabbed a pillow from the bed, his massive frame making the furniture look impossibly small.

"That couch is barely long enough for me, let alone you. "

He sat down anyway, the leather creaking under his weight as his legs stretched well past the armrest.

"This is ridiculous." I moved closer, my arms crossed. "The bed is huge. We can share."

He stilled, and I could see the hesitation in his posture.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," he said quietly.

"More uncomfortable than watching you try to fold yourself onto that thing?" I shook my head. "Come on."

He moved toward the bed slowly, like he was still unsure. I slipped under the covers on the far side, trying to make the decision easier for him. The sheets were soft, carrying that same scent that seemed to follow him everywhere.

After what seemed like forever, the mattress dipped under his weight. He stayed on the very edge, maintaining a careful distance. The silence felt heavy.

"Any word about Lael?" I asked into the darkness.

Aether's sigh was heavy. "No change. The medics are doing everything they can, but..." He trailed off. "I should have been there. For both of you."

"You can't be everywhere."

"Tomorrow, everything changes." The words came out rough, almost like they pained him. "Urkin can't keep making these decisions."

I understood the frustration in his voice. The rigid hierarchy of the Umbra had nearly gotten both Lael and me killed. But I didn't know how to respond, so I stayed quiet.

I was drifting off when the flashes hit—not just Valkan this time, but everything. The burns on Lael's skin. The blood on the floor. That damned smile with too many teeth. My body went rigid, heart slamming against my ribs as I tried to remember where I was. My lungs wouldn't work.

"Fia?" Aether's voice cut through the panic.

I managed a shaky breath. "I'm fine." The lie was automatic .

The mattress shifted as he sat up. For a moment, neither of us moved. Then slowly, carefully, like he was afraid I might bolt, his hand found my shoulder.

"You're not." His voice was quiet in the darkness. Then his arm slid around my waist, drawing me back against his chest. The heat of him crept through my clothes, and something inside me shifted. I should have resisted, should have maintained some pretense of dignity, but the solid warmth of him broke down the last of my defenses.

Esprithe , this felt good. Dangerous, probably—letting myself need him. But as his heartbeat thrummed against my back—as his breath stirred my hair—I couldn't bring myself to give a damn about the implications. For the first time since Valkan, since everything, the darkness didn't feel like it was trying to swallow me whole.

Sleep came easier then, wrapped in his arms, surrounded by his scent.

And I dreamed of the twins again.

I was in a garden, my hands sticky as I cut back thick, dark vines that seemed to weep a black substance into the bucket at my feet. The sound of running made me look up as two women burst through an archway—the twins, though years had passed since the courtyard scene.

One wore a violet gown, a delicate tiara nestled in her dark hair, her pregnant belly visible beneath the fine fabric. A golden band glinted on her finger as she gestured wildly. The other wore simple gardening clothes, dirt staining the knees. "Leave me alone!" The one in the tiara’s voice cracked as she spun to face her sister. Tears streamed down her face, ruining the careful paint around her eyes.

"Please, just let me explain—" The other woman reached for her arm, but she jerked away.

"Explain what? That you've always been in love with him?" Her words echoed across the lawn. "That while I was preparing for our wedding, you were—" She choked on the words .

"I've always wanted the best for you," the woman pleaded. "Everything I've done ? —"

"Don't! I’ve always protected you, been there for you, through everything!" The sister's hands cradled her stomach protectively. "You've always been jealous of me. Ever since the Void rejected you ? —"

"This isn't about the Void! This is about father, about how he's always pitted us against each other. Can't you see what he's done to us?"

"What he's done?" The noble sister's laugh was bitter. "He made me strong. He gave me everything, while you—you chose to waste away in these gardens, pretending to be something you're not."

"I didn’t have a choice!"

Silence fell between them.

"Lord Skaldvindr chose me," the one in the gown said finally, though her voice trembled. "Remember that."

“He didn’t.”

She took a few steps towards her sister, but the woman turned and fled across the lawn, her skirts billowing behind her, the golden ring refracting the sunlight as she disappeared. Then, the remaining sister stood alone, frozen, watching her go. Slowly, she walked back to where I stood among the bleeding vines and sank onto the ground beside me. Her shoulders shook as she buried her face in her hands.

I felt my own hands move to comfort her, and she fell into my lap, body convulsing with sobs.