Page 40 of Doxed

My foot hits the top of the stairs and I wrap my arms around myself as I look across Miles’ bedroom. Everything is the same, but yet so much has changed.

Empty bottles of water and alcohol sit on the round table in front of the sectional, and the gaming console he bought me is unplugged and laying on the floor instead of on the shelf of the entertainment center like it was when I left.

The bed that’s always made perfectly has the comforter tossed around with a pillow abandoned on the floor.

I crawl into the still made side and huddle under the blanket.

I never thought I would feel comfort again, and I wonder if I'll ever feel safe.

Miles said all the right things, but how can I trust him after what he did?

Everything that he said is what I craved from him before he betrayed me, but now…

now I'm not sure if I want anything to do with him ever again.

Right now, I just need to focus on finding the girls from the club and eliminating the threat to my life so I can go back to living normally.

Or better than I had been before. I wasn't living before, just biding my time until it ran out.

I won't do that again. I won't let life pass me by. Then, when all is over, I’m going to get as far from Miles and Washington as I can.

With those thoughts, thoughts of flying to another country and experiencing a slow but fulfilled life, I fall asleep.

I’m not sure how long I'm asleep for before I hear heavy footsteps ascend the stairs. My eyes snap open and I freeze in place. I knew this was too good to be true. This motherfucker sold me out again. Miles’ tall shadow enters his bedroom, and he stumbles to the side, his shoulder hitting the wall.

He curses under his breath, rubbing it as he stalks toward the bed.

I scramble to my ass, and he falls to his knees with a loud thud in front of me.

Alcohol wafts off of him, stinging my eyes. “Briar,” he croaks, regret shining from his eyes so clearly.

Something in me snaps; I won't be a victim again. My hand flies forward and I wrap it around his throat, digging my long nails into his skin. “What did you do this time?”

He lazily drops his head back, looking at me from the bottom of his vision. “Nothing. I just need you to know how sorry I am.” His hair is messy and strands fall over his eyes.

“Why are you here? We already talked.” My grip loosens, but I don't retract my claws.

I can feel him swallow against my palm and I look him over. He’s shirtless, his myriad of tattoos on display. “I had to remind myself that you’re here. I was so lost without you.”

Licking my lips, I let go of him and cross my arms over my chest. “I’ve never seen you drink.”

Even in his inebriated state, he’s still quick, or maybe it’s that I just never expected him to do this, but before I can push him away, he wraps his long arms around my waist and lays his head on my bent legs. “It’s the only way I could sleep. The only way I could see you again.”

My fingers itch to run across his back, and I almost do, but I stop myself as they hover inches from his bare skin. “You dreamt of me?” I look down at him.

His back rises and falls with his breaths and just when I think he passed out, he softly says, “I would dream that instead of hating you, our shared pain forged a bond. We were married, and I got to wake up to you making coffee in just my shirt. We had kids, and you were a great mother. We took them to my parents’ graves and your mom’s.

We made sure they knew their grandparents were watching over them.

This house never knew silence again. It was filled with your sweet voice and children’s giggles, the hurried footsteps of running kids, and so much love it suffocated me.

” He shifts, turning his head to the side as his arms tighten around me.

“I’m so tired of the silence. It scares me. ”

Tears well in my eyes, but I use all of my strength to push him away from me. “Leave me alone, Miles. Go to bed.”

He stumbles backward onto his ass, his toned arms holding him up and his stomach muscles flexing, and he stares at me for a long moment before he pushes off of the floor and walks around the divider and to the couch.

I fall onto my back. I guess that's as far as he’ll go, but it’s better than curled around me. His confession scared me, because those are all things I could have wanted before.