Page 39 of Don’t Break My Heart (Secrets of Ravens Hollow #3)

It’s late when a tap comes at my front door.

I’m exhausted but still can’t sleep, so I have made a bed for myself on the sofa with a fluffy blanket and pillow and started the second season of Westworld .

I flick it off with the remote and hop up, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders.

What fresh hell will I have waiting for me on the other side of the door?

Cruz comes out from the spare room, his hair sticking up everywhere from where he’s been sleeping.

I’m not sure why he’s staying here, I haven’t asked, but I’m glad he’s around.

He helps keep me and Jagger from killing each other.

“Go back to bed. I’ve got this.” I wave him off, checking the peephole. An instant smile crosses my face.

“Harley,” I practically scream her name as I open the door in a rush.

She’s adorable, in a shirt dress and tights, her baby bump more of a watermelon than when I saw her last. “Where the fuck have you been, girl?”

Ricky stands behind her, and he looks me over with curiosity. “Sloane.” He tips his head in greeting.

“Ricky. Couldn’t let her come down the hall alone?” I snip back.

“What if she goes into labor?” he says more seriously.

“I’ll call you, Doc.” I smirk .

He looks unimpressed. Then he kisses her cheek. “Call me when you need me to walk you home,” he tells her, and I hurry her inside and close the door before he changes his mind.

Cruz has wandered off back to bed, leaving the two of us alone. “What the fuck, girl, start talking,” she says.

“You want some ice cream first? It’s a long fucking story.” I roll my eyes for emphasis.

“I’m eating for three, of course I want ice cream.” She laughs, rubbing her belly. She looks so damn happy I hardly want to bring her down with my shitshow of a life.

With a heavy sigh, I move into the kitchen, grab two bowls, and fill them with vanilla ice cream. I top mine with whiskey and look over to her. “I have chocolate syrup. It’s not the same but still good.”

She smiles, her pretty face lighting up. “That would be perfect. I would kill for a drink about now, though.”

“I bet. They all still following you around?”

“You get used to it.” She shrugs like it really doesn’t bother her anymore.

“I’m just so sore and tired. I feel like I’m always sleeping, but it’s not enough, and when I am asleep, I’m so uncomfortable.

And then there is the eating. If I don’t eat enough, I feel sick, and if I eat too much, I feel sick.

Every week Ricky says the morning sickness will ease.

And I thought it had, but it’s back. It’s time these babies come. ”

“How long do you have to go?”

“Three and a half months, if I go full-term.” She sighs.

I hand her the bowl, offering a sympathetic smile. “Remind me to get my tubes tied.” We take our bowls over to the sofa, and I prop a cushion up on the coffee table for Harley to put her feet up. She looks so uncomfortable .

She laughs. “You probably should, it would avoid this situation.” She rubs her belly with the biggest smile on her face. She’s glowing and looks happier than I have ever seen her, even if she’s uncomfortable.

“It’s so good to see you happy.” I smile back at her.

“Thanks, girl. But today I’m here for all the gossip on you, so start talking,” she says, scooping up a spoonful of ice cream dripping in chocolate.

I slump back into the sofa, digging into my dessert, enjoying the smooth whiskey with the creaminess, silently thanking Cruz for getting me back on this late-night treat. “I don’t even know where to start.” I sigh heavily.

“Last I saw you was at my clinic open day and you and Onyx were mauling each other in Alex’s office.”

I smirk back at her, remembering that day. “You saw us?” I squeak.

“Through the courtyard.” She laughs and blushes.

“Oh my God.” I cover my face, embarrassed, remembering exactly what we got up to in his office. That’s where he gave the rules and told me not to fall in love with him. I should have known then I would end up with this ache in my heart.

“Where is the big dude, anyway?” She looks up the hall like she’s expecting to see him.

I fiddle with my spoon. “I fired him after he told me he was in love with me.”

Her eyes go wide. “Shut up, you didn’t.”

My eyes well with tears when I picture his face yesterday morning. I nod slowly, not able to say it.

“Oh, shit, Sloane, are you okay?”

I shake my head. “I have no idea what to do, my life is a fucking mess. Orlando is back in Italy. Romeo is following me around like a lost puppy trying to get me to work, but I can’t fucking concentrate.

And Reef is pissed with me big time, giving me the silent treatment, when he has no right to be. It’s me who should be angry with him.”

She looks at me blankly and I know I have lost her. “Orlando is Romeo’s dead or not-so-dead twin brother, right?”

“Yeah. My husband. Or ex-husband,” I say, quickly correcting myself.

She finishes her mouthful. “Your life sounds more complicated than mine and that is saying something.”

A stray tear slips down my cheek. “Please just tell me what to do.” I swipe the tear away, not wanting to cry over this.

She places her empty bowl on the coffee table and sits forward. “Shit, Sloane. What happened to the girl I met when I was falling apart. She had the answers for everything.”

“She’s gone. I’m so fucking lost, Harley. I’m in love with all of them, but there is no going back after what they did to me. The fucking lies and secrets. Who would I be if I let all of that shit slide. Not a Stryker, that’s for sure.”

“Okay, I don’t know what they did, but it sounds to me like it’s more complicated than just making a decision on the spot right now. You need to talk to them, tell them how badly they have hurt you.”

“They know,” I huff.

“And?”

“Onyx fucked off when I told him to, Reef won’t talk to me, Orlando literally divorced me and sent me across the other side of the world, and Romeo, well, he just keeps pretending like nothing has happened.

I’m sure he thinks if he hangs around long enough, I will end up hate-fucking him and then all will be forgiven. It won’t.”

She takes my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Definitely not a virgin anymore.” She laughs, and it’s the best sound ever. God, I have missed her .

I can’t help but laugh with her. When her life was falling apart, the two of us sat on this very sofa not all that long ago. A time when I thought my biggest problem was that I couldn’t get laid. “That girl had no idea how easy her life was.”

“Loving four men is never going to be simple, Sloane, but if you can get through the complicated shit and you can make it work, it’s worth it.”

I stare back at her. I can see how happy she is now, but is it worth it? Really? “Do you feel like you lost yourself when you fell for all of them?”

“I think I just found a different version of myself. Life doesn’t stay the same forever, and we wouldn’t want it to. Yeah, I didn’t know this was the life I wanted, but who would? It’s unconventional, but I wouldn’t change it, not for a second.”

She looks so happy. I wish I could see through the haze I feel now and imagine a future where it all works out for the five of us, but I just don’t think it’s possible. “I don’t fit here anymore. But I don’t fit anywhere else either.”

“You still fit here. You just need time to adjust, and who says you have to stay in one place? If you need to spread your wings to find yourself, then do it. Your club will still be here when you get back and so will all the people you love. I can’t imagine what it would have been like living in Italy, but I’m sure it’s more exciting than this place. ”

“Honestly, it was terrifying. Everything about the place made me feel uncomfortable. The country itself was beautiful and everything Orlando had was the lap of luxury, his villa was stunning, but it was more what had been left to us. Their papa’s business.

You thought Enzo Moretti was depraved, well, his brother takes the cake.

There was this club there, nothing like mine. It made my skin crawl, Harley.”

“There was shit going down there? ”

“I can’t even… All I know is I want to save those girls; their empty eyes say it all.

That’s why the boys flew me out of the place.

I’m sure Orlando was behind it. But it was all of them who made it happen.

One minute I was falling asleep in the arms of the man I thought I loved, the man I thought loved me in return.

The next, I woke up cable-tied to a fucking private jet seat.

They got me out of there because they said it was going to be too dangerous, the only thing they care about is me.

What about all those other girls?” Tears stream down my face now, I can’t stop them.

I feel so sick when I think about what I left behind.

“Sloane.”

I glance at Harley, and she’s crying now as well.

She pulls me toward her. “Don’t cry, you set me off.”

“I can’t help it. Never in my life have I felt so helpless. So out of control. Even if my life before was just an illusion, at least I felt like I had a say.”

“What do the boys say about the situation over there? I’m sure they don’t agree with what their papa was doing.”

I shake my head. “Orlando says he’s going to fix it. But he has their younger brother Valentine to get through, and Romeo tells me we can fix it from here, but I don’t see how.”

She gives me a half smile.

“What?”

“I know you feel like your hands are tied, but sounds to me like you have a man on the inside and all the resources you need to do whatever it is you want from here. I know how stubborn you are, babe, but don’t let your anger toward the boys for what they did get in your way of making the change you want. ”

I raise a brow. Even Harley thinks I’m the asshole. “You think I’m overreacting? ”

“Not at all. I just think you’re focusing your anger on the wrong people.

Sure, let the boys suffer for a while, sounds like they might deserve it, but don’t give up on what you truly believe in.

Look at the difference you have made here.

You turned Syd’s shithole club into something amazing.

You helped me create a safe haven for the women of this town.

Think bigger, Sloane. Why can’t we take what we’re doing and make it a global operation?

You with your clubs, me with my clinics.

Our men have the resources and the funds to do anything. ”

I stare at my beautiful friend as her words bounce around in my head. “You know what, sis. You’re the first person to make any sense at all.”

Her smile widens to an all-out grin. “I can be a sounding board whenever you need.”

“Thank you.” I cover my mouth as I yawn, the exhaustion finally taking over.

“I’m going to let you get some sleep, the jet lag must be getting to you.” She sits forward and uses the arm of the chair to get herself up to standing.

I move with her back through the house. “Don’t message Ricky, I’ll walk you up the hall.”

She looks me over, her brow raised.

“I’m armed if any fucker tries anything.”

“Of course you are.” She laughs. “Well, okay, but you can deal with Ricky when we get there.”

“I plan on it.” I grin back.

The two of us walk up the hall to her place, and she taps at the door. It swings open in a rush, Ricky looking pissed. “I thought…”

“Sloane wanted to walk me home. Talk to her about it.” She smirks at him, and I know for her it was a little bit of rebellion she enjoyed as well .

He glares at me. “Sloane.”

“Night, sis.” I blow her a kiss as Geovani wraps her in a hug.

“You should drop by the clinic tomorrow, I can run your idea past the boys?” she calls back.

“Maybe.” I wave her off then return my attention to Ricky. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

He closes the door behind him and follows me out into the hall. “You pull a stunt like that again and there will be trouble, Sloane.”

I roll my eyes. “Chill, Ricky, I’m armed. She was safe.”

“What do you need?”

“I can’t fucking sleep. It’s been days, and I’m starting to feel like I’m going crazy. You wouldn’t have any sleeping pills around, would you? Just enough for me to get through tonight?”

He looks me over more seriously. “Jet lag?”

“Probably.” I fake a smile, hoping he can’t see the truth behind my eyes.

I don’t want to get into the whole “my life is falling apart” shit with him.

I wouldn’t even come to him, except I’m desperate.

I already searched both Jagger and Cruz’s rooms for anything that would knock me out, but my search came up empty.

“Come inside, I’ll see what I have.”

I follow him back inside. Geovani and Harley are gone, probably headed off to bed, so I lean awkwardly into the wall as I wait for Ricky to raid his kitchen cupboard.

When that search comes up empty, he goes to his bag.

He takes out a little tube of pills and looks me over with caution.

“I’ll give you enough to get through tonight, but if you’re still having trouble sleeping, you will need to come into the clinic and have a proper consultation. ”

“Enough for tonight is perfect.” I grin back at him.

Thank God he had something. Tomorrow I can work out something else.

But tonight, I need sleep. I’m fucking desperate for it because I feel like I’m starting to lose my mind.

“Thanks.” I take his arm as he goes to walk away.

“Hey, I’m sorry I walked Harley home. I didn’t want to tell her how bad it was. She would only worry, you know.”

He offers me a half smile. “Let me walk you home.”

We walk back to my place in silence. It’s only a short walk, but I can practically hear Ricky’s brain ticking over. And since I don’t want to get into it with him, I open my door in a rush. “Thanks. For these and walking me home. Look after my girl for me.”

He captures my arm before I can shut the door. “Sloane, if you need help, you know where I am.”

“Thanks, Ricky. I appreciate it.”

He releases my wrist, and I close the door. Leaning up against it, I suck in a deep breath. I can’t ask for help no matter how bad this gets. How fucking weak would I look. I have to show them all I can do this on my own.