Page 32 of Don’t Break My Heart (Secrets of Ravens Hollow #3)

When we land on home soil, Onyx drives me, Reef, and Romeo straight to the docks, back to the safe house.

I’m not even surprised. Orlando might have said I can have the life I want, but I knew that was bullshit.

These three assholes are just as controlling, and I knew there was no way they would let me out of their sights.

I haven’t uttered a word to any of them, not one. I have nothing left to say. It’s late, close to midnight, and as much as I want to put up a fight and demand they take me right to the club, I also know I need time to pull myself together before I go back there.

I look like shit and am a shadow of the girl they know.

Instead, I head straight for my room, the one I had before Orlando took me.

I lie down on my side facing away from the door, and I wait.

Who knew staring at the wall could be so entertaining.

It’s off-white with not a mark in sight, and I get lost in the texture of the wall.

My body is dog tired, but my mind, that’s wide awake, bouncing from everything Orlando said to me last night to the pain he left me in this morning.

I keep staring at the wall for what feels like hours, waiting until I hear the last of them close their door and succumb to sleep.

When I know they’re all in their rooms, I wait a little longer until I know sleep would have taken hold.

Then I slip my gun into the back of my jeans and pocket my knife.

I take the delicate bracelet off my wrist and leave it on my pillow for Onyx to find tomorrow.

A heaviness sits in my chest when I think of how angry he will be, but there is no threat here anymore.

I don’t need a bodyguard. Or three oversized assholes following me around.

I slip Orlando’s ring off my finger and sign the divorce papers.

I feel sad in a way I never have before, devastated by the loss of what I’m about to do.

But I know for me it’s the only way to survive. I need to be alone.

I look out the window and consider my options.

Five stories up is probably a few too many to tempt fate.

I collect my boots in my hands and tiptoe out of my room.

The door is still pulled off its hinges so there is at least not that to contend with.

I’m as quiet as a mouse as I sneak through the apartment in just my socks.

I shove open the fire escape and step outside, my heart in my throat.

Part of me thought Onyx would somehow hear me and stop me before I even got this far.

But so far, nothing. I climb down the five flights of stairs, and when I get to the bottom, I slip on my boots and tie the laces.

Then I push open the heavy door, sending me out into the night alone.

Alone for the first time in years. I breathe in a full breath, the cold washing over me like a fresh skin. When I make it one block over, I pull out my phone and dial my brother’s number.

“Sloane?” he answers sleepily on the third ring.

“Get dressed, dickhead. I need you to come pick me up. I’m on the corner of Stanly and Seaview Streets. Down near the docks.”

He lets out a groan. “Aren’t you in Italy?”

“Get dressed, dummy. It’s fucking freezing out here.”

“Yeah, I’m moving. Be there in ten.”

“And Cruz, you tell anyone about this, you’re dead to me,” I warn him, only half serious.

“See you soon, Sis,” he grumbles as he disconnects the call .

I probably didn’t need to say it, because out of any of my brothers I know I can trust Cruz the most. There is this unspoken rule between us that we discuss shit first before we go to Jagger. But I have been away a while, and I feel out of the loop. Like maybe all our old rules no longer apply.

I wrap my arms around my middle and try to stay warm, pacing back and forth along the corner of the street I gave him.

I’m freezing my tits off and really wish I thought my choice of clothing through better, but there wasn’t time to think about all of that.

The only thing on my mind was slipping out of that place unnoticed.

I have no idea how I will deal with them in the morning, but tonight, I need space to clear my head.

I can’t function with them controlling my every move. Who could?

The hum of a motor bike comes down the street, and I can’t help but smirk when I see my brother’s cheeky grin from under his helmet. He pulls up beside me and tosses me a spare helmet. I throw a leg over the back, hopping on behind him as I secure my helmet in place.

He glances over his shoulder. “Where to, Sis?”

“My apartment.”

“Sure thing.” He nods once before kicking the thing into gear and taking off up the street. Away from the boys.

He drives through the winding streets like a crazy maniac, the wind in my hair and the cold air on my skin bringing me back to life in a way I never knew it could. Freedom. If only my stomach didn’t feel like it was eating itself from the stress of sneaking out.

When we arrive in my underground parking, he parks his bike next to my car. My car. I don’t know why seeing it makes me want to do a little happy dance, but it does. Something normal, a little part of me that I love.

“Fuck, I don’t have the key to get in,” I say in a panic .

He dangles his keys for me. “I got you, Sis. Jagger gave me a spare just in case he locked himself out.”

“What would I do without you?” I smirk back at him, so fucking happy to see his face.

“You would have had a long walk home.” He chuckles, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze.

Home. I breathe in a deep breath as I stare at the elevator that takes me back to my apartment. I’m finally home. It doesn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would, but that’s okay. It’s all going to be an adjustment. One step at a time, Sloane. You will soon feel like your old self again.

“We going to head up?” he asks when I haven’t moved into the open elevator.

I nod, following along behind Cruz. We take the elevator up to my floor and walk the short distance to my place.

Seeing my front door, I’m suddenly choked up, remembering the way Onyx kissed me for the first time right up against it.

Oh, dear God, I don’t know if I can do this.

Everything is going to remind me of them.

Cruz turns the key in the lock and lets us in. I suck in a breath, forcing my legs to keep moving forward, knowing it’s the only way to move on.

He dumps his keys down on the kitchen counter and flicks on the lights, showcasing my beautiful apartment.

It might not be as fancy as Orlando’s island home or the villa we just left in Italy, but it’s mine, every inch of it designed by me.

I built the kitchen and laid the floorboards with Jagger, I painted the walls in the perfect shade of white and chose the soft plush carpet in the bedrooms.

“Jagger’s at The Precinct tonight, I wouldn’t be expecting him home,” Cruz says, flicking on lights.

“That’s probably for the best,” I say absentmindedly.

Everywhere I look I see Onyx and the guilt starts to eat at me.

But he did this to us, not me. I shake it off.

I know this is for the best. “Is he still dating the commissioner?” I ask, knowing how long overdue Jagger and I are for a little chat.

“Who would know with Jagger,” he mutters, and I hear the disappointment in his voice. It’s clearly a bone of contention with him as well. Cruz’s hand comes to my shoulder softly. “What happened, how did you get back here?”

I blink back at him, not sure how to put it all into words. The tears I’m trying to hold back break free, tumbling down my face.

“Sloane.” He tugs me into his chest, holding me close while I fall apart.

“I don’t even know who I am anymore, Cruz.”

He holds my face in his hands, staring directly into my eyes. “You’re Sloane fucking Stryker, youngest sibling of the infamous Iron Strykers. That’s all you need to know.”

“Thank you,” I whisper through my tears. I knew of any of them he would get it.

“I know just the thing.” He moves away from me and into the kitchen, and he pulls two bowls from the cupboard and a tub of vanilla ice cream from the fridge.

He scoops two massive spoonsful of ice cream into each bowl then pulls a bottle of top-shelf whiskey from the pantry.

“Jagger won’t miss it.” He winks at me cheekily before he pours it over the ice cream.

I can’t help but grin back at him, remembering the first time he made this treat for me. I was way too young for drinking and so was he, but he did always know just what I needed.

I take a couple of spoons from the drawer, and we head over to the sofa with our dessert.

“Jagger had your room fixed up, it’s as good as new. ”

“He’s the best.” I fake a smile, not so sure I believe it anymore.

He has always looked after me, but he’s also lied to me on countless occasions, and if anyone is to blame for how sheltered I have been, it’s Jagger.

He was the one who hired Onyx to follow me around and stop me from ever really being able to live my life.

“Sloane, I know you’ve been through some shit, but the worst is past you now. Tomorrow you can head back into your club and get on with your life.”

I scoop up some ice cream and stare at it blankly before popping it in my mouth.

The sweetness mixed with the spicy whiskey is delicious and just what I need right now.

I sigh heavily. “What if this life doesn’t fit me like it used to anymore?

Everyone knows who I really am now, Cruz. I feel like an imposter.”

“You will make it fit, Sis, it’s just going to take a little time to adjust back into your normal routine.”