Page 80 of Do It For Me

“Lana,” she says, pulling me back. “What do you want to do? You don’t have much time to stop it.”

Stop it? Have an abortion? Should I?

My chest tightens. The picture in my hand feels like it’s burning. I hate his father, but if I do it, they’ll kill me…

“Don’t tell my father,” I whisper. “Please. I’ll think about it.”

She nods.

After handing me a few prescriptions and orders for some tests, the doctor dismisses me.

My thoughts are a blur. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even hear the people around me; I just keep walking.

The picture in my hand catches my eye, and fresh tears fall.

A baby. I’m going to be a mum.

How am I supposed to take care of it?

My mum warned me—if it’s a girl, they’ll take her away. If it’s a boy, he’ll live the same life as my brothers.

I don’t want it to live like that… but it’s going to be all I have.

I wanted to give a child everything I never had, but this isn’t the right place, nor the right man.

Why did he trick me?

I can’t do this alone. I have no one.

I sink onto a bench and pull out my old phone. Stefan bought a new one so I could speak with my mum. Everyone thought that was the least they could do for me.

I know I’m supposed to check in on my baby’s father, but instead, I call the same man who broke my heart.

I call him over and over, but he doesn’t pick up.

Desperation overwhelms me as I open the messages.

Me:I need you. Please, pick up.

Me:I don’t know what to do.

Me:I wanted your child, not Stefan’s. I didn’t want him. I wanted you.

Me:Why have you done this to us?

Me:Please, I need you. I need your help. You promised. You told me you’d never let me go. You told me you always kept your promises.

Me:I don’t want to hate you. Don’t betray me.

Me:I’m begging you. Please come for me. Please.

Me:Help me.

The pain in my chest is unbearable. I cover my face with my hands.

I don’t care if anyone sees me. I don’t care about anything anymore. I have nothing left to lose.

Me:Please. Please, you promised!