Page 60 of Do It For Me

JEALOUSY?

There are arms around me when I wake up.

Where am I? What happened last night?

I turn to face a pair of deep blue eyes.

“Good morning,” he whispers in a husky voice.

Everything we did rushes back into my mind. Heat gathers in my cheeks. “Did I fall asleep?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He pauses. “Do you feel alright? Are you sore or anything?”

This is embarrassing.

“A little. Nothing to worry about.”

He exhales deeply and pulls me closer. His embrace is so tight and warm that tears threaten to spill from my eyes. His skin is soft, despite his scars. I could stay like this forever, just cuddling.

“Do you want to go on a date today?” he asks. “We could—”

“Actually, there’s something I’d like to try.”

His jaw drops. I hug my legs, hiding my face between my knees as he keeps watching the video I stole from my father. The guy on the TV keeps calling the girl his whore, and she’s laughing, begging him to hit her harder.

“You like… this?”

“I-I think so.”

He told me I could change memories, and I think I trust him enough to let him try. Yesterday, he didn’t trigger anything. Though I can’t remember much after we cuddled, I believe I was so exhausted from the orgasms that I fell asleep instantly.

That video is the closest thing to how I was treated. While my experience was ten times worse, I want to try something more intense than what we did yesterday.

“Sweetheart, I—”

“If you don’t like it, it’s okay,” I interrupt. “I don’t mind. It was just a suggestion.”

“No, I—” He pauses, studying me carefully. “Are you sure? I mean, that’s… a lot to take in.”

“I’m sure.”

I’ve handled worse.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Okay… Give me a few minutes. I need to process all of this.”

“Have you done something like this before?”

I regret the question as soon as it slips from my lips. Of course, he’s had other partners. Men are like that. I’m no virgin either, but I know his first wasn’t as traumatising as mine.

And that hurts. Because maybe he’s done what he did to me yesterday with someone else.

Maybe he loved others.

Or maybe he hurt them.