Page 53 of Disillusioned (A Lay of Ruinous Reign #2)

“It is not that simple. Look at how her mortals have treated her over something as simple as language.” The topic had seemed to center him, but his fury remained.

“Part of it is her parents’ fault. They could have silenced anyone at those riots and protests of her reign with a row of guillotines in the streets.

They too did not know what to do with her, how to protect her.

Cowards, the lot of them.” Garin removed his hand from her shoulder and hesitated as he brought it down to his side, looking like he might place it upon her knee.

He didn’t. “I would not be so bold as to assume Daemons will fight blindly, risk their necks for a crown which historically has not done the same for them. It will come at their discretion depending on what the queen chooses to do. Rallying the humans to stand with her will take some time. Even if, in the best scenario, she is allied with a ruler who allows her to keep her sovereignty, Lilac could stand to gain the favor of both mortals and Daemons. Marrying someone powerful would then allow her time to do so instead of hastening the process under the pressure of war.”

Hearing his honesty was terrifying. She tried to keep her voice steady. “And you’re planning on holding that over her head?”

“No. I wouldn’t need to. A Daemon alliance would come at far too great a cost. She’d instantly lose most if not all of her moral support in the towns—a fatal flaw.

This is the reason she must marry someone powerful.

Delicious idea, though. I might fancy seeing her beg.

” He stared past her. “The queen can fuck whomever she wants, but even if she did push for Daemon support, I doubt it would solidify until a public alliance is established.”

Despite his sound advice, she clung to his last statement. “Even Casmir?”

Garin’s eyes narrowed. “Casmir?”

“Can you not smell him on me?” she finally asked.

His nostrils were already flaring the moment she’d uttered the other vampire’s name.

“I haven’t been able to smell or taste anything but her since I ordered her away.

” There was more disbelief than shame in his admission.

“The queen has done nothing but torment me with visions of her tender touch and wicked mouth these last few days. I’ve dreamt of begging for her return.

She is within and without. All of it is her, and—and…

what of Casmir?” he said gratingly, as if remembering himself. He wiped the sweat from his brow.

Lilac smiled. She couldn’t help but feel a rush of victorious relief that he’d suffered in their time apart, too .

Whatever was tethering them, whether the leftover magic in her body or an obscure partial bond, it had seemed to amplify their need to be near each other, while the effects of the mead had made her starved for touch.

If there was any of it mixed in that decanter—she was certain there was—then he would soon start feeling the same.

A volatile combination in a vampire, hunger for blood and body.

The lust threatening to take him might soon be enough to dissuade him from killing her. Maybe then she could lure him outside.

“ Well? ”

Lilac leaned forward. His eyes flickered to her cleavage, then quickly back to her flushed face. “I was in his lap earlier tonight. Just after I kissed him.”

“Kissed…” He glanced down.

“Yes. He’s passionate.”

Garin’s look shifted from hesitant to murderous. “Did he touch you?”

“He did,” Lilac breathed, her mind filling with thoughts of Casmir’s erection under her just moments ago. “But what would it matter if you believe I am not her?”

His jaw clenched, as if he were debating whether to be furious about it. “Was it what you wanted?”

“Yes it was.”

Garin’s expression was unreadable.

“But he refused to fuck me. He said that I reeked of you.” Lilac stilled, trying to ignore the pressure at her core as he neared again. Her entire body pulsed under his conviction. His heat.

Garin bent his head and delicately slid her hair out of the way. Then he pressed his nose to the side of her throat and inhaled deeply against her skin.

If he couldn’t sense Casmir on her before, he did now.

Garin’s grip on her wrist tightened immediately, and in that moment, her blade began to hum at her thigh. If she were thinking straight, if she weren’t already drugged on his proximity and the effects of the mead, it would’ve sent her into a panic.

Instead, she moaned against the vibration.

His pupils widened against the red as he pulled back.

Lilac shifted against the seat, already feeling how wet she’d become in his presence.

Not taking her gaze off him, Lilac reached for her right thigh and bunched the material in her palm to lift the hem of her chemise.

Garin released her and shifted back; she bit her lip as he swiftly widened her legs with his knee, letting his fingers trail over the material at her calf.

He looked up at her questioningly, just as he had in his bedchamber.

Lilac nodded. She was a fool.

He dragged the hem of her dress up her bare leg, revealing the dagger strapped at her thigh.

Delicately, he plucked it from the sheath without touching her skin. Garin held it straight up in the light, suspending the blade between them and marveling at the intricate adornments. He, too, must be remembering the way he’d entranced Lilac to make herself come with the vibrating hilt.

He lowered the blade, and just as she prepared to feel him shove the rest of her skirts away to press it against her center, there was a prick above her bodice. Garin held the tip of her own blade against her chest. One swift move and it would pierce her heart.

“You are a cruel and wretched thing. A willing instrument in my undoing.”

“Garin.” He was beyond reason, so convinced that he was being tricked. “Put it down.”

“I have to believe,” he said quietly. “It cannot be true. You are a courtesan Myrddin sent to retrieve me. And if not, then you are a demon sent from the deepest circle of hell to torment me.”

“If you’re going to kill me,” she said, chin lifted, “then do it. But do not pretend your tremendous anger would be misdirected at some courtesan. Do it because you cannot bear to think of me?—”

“ You are not her. ” His face twisted with desperation and something else she could not place. His shoulders quaked as he stared at her, murderous. “I don’t know what is happening to me. I will drain you, and move on to everyone in that fucking tavern. Do not lie to me!”

She stilled, pressed back as far as she could against the settee as Garin’s chest heaved. Heartbroken . He was heartbroken.

They stared at each other in silence, the music and voices outside filling the gaping void between them. No knock came, no shout or acknowledgement from Bastion or Myrddin, if they were paying attention at all. If no one heard Garin’s shouting, no one would hear if she screamed for help .

“She is leagues and leagues away from here, under my command. Safe from me .” Garin looked down at the blade, still processing that it was in his grasp. “I have done my part so Lilac has a fighting chance.”

She blinked through her blurry vision. “Done your part? Do you mean against France? It is her part and hers alone. You said so yourself.”

“That isn’t what I mean.” His breath was shuddering.

He shifted his weight back, taking her in.

“My newfound ability to daywalk has garnered me more purpose, more hope to this life than feeding and slinking in the shadows. But as soon as those curses were lifted, there was another awaiting me on the other side. You see, I have made the beginner’s error of falling into a precarious trap.

” He laughed, a hopeless sound. “She exacerbates my very condition. But it could never be. Not without anarchy.” Garin exhaled, the weight of his confession visibly leaving his chest.

It then crushed hers. Lilac’s glare only hardened, tugging her trained armor over her exposed heart. “You cannot possibly feel that way if you willingly shove her off to someone else.”

Garin’s lip curled away from his teeth. “Any assumption otherwise would be ludicrous considering what I cannot help but feel for her. It is infuriating, a burden and a medal I willingly wear. So is the hope that she and I could ever exist in the same room, in the scope of the public eye, without wielding blades at each other. Without performing, ruse after ruse. I would do it till the end of days, but the humanity in her will grow weary and tired. As it should.” Again, he pressed the tip of the dagger against her skin.

“She knows that deep down. She wouldn’t be here tonight, she’s smarter than that.

I have made sure everything is in order,” he reassured himself.

“I have done my due diligence, and will ensure she marries if it is the last thing I?—”

There was a ripping noise, followed by a squelch.

Lilac winced, then smiled at the sting of pain at her upper thigh.