Page 34 of Disillusioned (A Lay of Ruinous Reign #2)

There was no glint of recognition in his eyes—just guilt, or maybe concern.

“Lorietta had me entrance you back to bed every time you jolted awake or had a night terror. Doing so can invoke strange or violent dreams.” He looked down at her fist on the knob.

“She said she couldn’t keep feeding you the sleeping draught without risking your health. ”

“I don’t believe you.” She glared up at him and wiped her cheeks hastily against the back of her hand, clutching her dagger. How could she be crying?

Had none of it been real? None of his caresses, and care, and… love?

It felt so real.

Garin took her hand and nudged the blade along his extended wrist. “Just a taste will tell you all you need to know.”

The offer wasn’t sincere, she could feel it. Her limbs were buzzing, they ached to move. In a flash, she moved the dagger, pointed it at his throat.

Shocked at her speed, at the motion, she jerked back. The blade clattered to the floor.

The stern mask Garin wore faltered. There was a glimmer of surprise, but all he said was, “How much do you remember after you woke? After we crashed.”

She didn’t know. Everything was muddled. There were glimpses of what had happened, but none of it felt real. All she could remember—all she could think of—was Garin. Hearing everything, being trapped in the darkness of her own mind, the cage of excruciating pain that was her broken body.

Waking up in the dirt to him hovering above her, cradling her, his eyes filled with real terror, his remorseful, devilish face twisted into some intoxicating combination of the heavens and hells.

Then, him, next to her in that very bed.

“What happened ?”

He nodded slowly, like she was a feral animal liable to snap at any moment.

“We’re not entirely sure. Like I said, your body was loaded with magic.

The merchant’s archer hit you in the hand with an arrow imbued with a disillusionment charm, meant to lift any and all enchantments.

They weren’t after you, but Emrys.” His voice grew tight with fury.

“The idiot paid them in counterfeit coin years ago, so they’ve been tracking him. They shot him in the chest.”

The Guài had said they were tracking someone.

A powerful warlock…but from what she barely remembered of the argument she’d overheard, Emrys hadn’t been the target.

What she did remember, vividly , was that she hadn’t undone Adelaide’s tonic.

She was about to. That’s when the searing pain had bloomed on the knuckles of her right hand.

“He died,” she croaked, blinking away the image of his corpse.

“Yes, but it wasn’t the arrow that killed him. And he didn’t stay dead for very long.”

“What—”

“The arrow obviously dissolved your dress,” he grunted, forcefully swinging the topic as she gazed past him, unseeing.

“Your bones were broken in multiple places. The Guài warned us about overwhelming your body with magic. We had no choice but to wait for it to be let out of your system. For a few days, Lorietta fed you, washed, and kept you clean. And I ensured you kept your privacy as much as possible,” he added when her gaze dropped to the floor, hot humiliation flooding through her.

“But I woke up. I was awake after the crash…Wasn’t I?

” She shut her eyes, rifling through shards of memory, not wanting to remember but needing to.

She couldn’t recall much else, but there were jolts of emotion—relief, rage, then terror.

Being able to only hear, then suddenly blinking against the sunlight.

“There was so much pain, then none at all. I remember seeing the carriage there. Giles and Emrys, on the ground. Their bodies twisted in the dirt.” She swallowed past the lump in her throat.

“Where are they?” she asked quietly. “Are they here?”

“Emrys is…alive,” he said with an annoyed grunt. “He’s a few rooms down. Bastion has been in and out, helping us nurse him back to health. Giles was completely unconscious for two days. A head injury. We thought we’d lost him, but Emrys brought him back with a spell once he had recovered enough.”

Lilac started to say something, but Garin silenced her with a look.

“As a parting gift, the guài performed a bone mending spell on you, but it only fixed your spine and ribs.” He was speaking quickly now, as if the memories were too painful to linger upon. “You did wake, then, briefly.” He stopped to eye her sidelong.

“Then?” Her heart sank. “What else?”

“You were bleeding. Internally,” he explained.

“Healing your bones and veins required two different spells from the Guài . Both would have been too much magic for your mortal body. Between how weak you were and how much arcana might’ve been left over from Adelaide’s tonic and the arrow, we didn’t know. ” His voice cracked. “I had to choose.”

What was there to choose?

She felt she might make herself sick, trying to pull at memories that refused to surface.

Uncomprehendingly, she looked down at herself.

Her muscles ached only slightly, her body tender in some places, especially her shoulders.

But she was alive. Here, with him. “It seems you made the right choice.”

But he only gazed at her with a mixture of scrutiny and sympathy. “I was forced to make an impossible decision.”

What was that look? Regret? “What did you do?” She hadn’t meant the question to come out accusatory, but his eyes had dropped reluctantly to her throat.

“A blood exchange has the power to heal a person’s bleeding, their veins, anything related to their soft tissues, depending on the extent of their injuries.

So, I drank from you. Then, I fed you my blood.

” Lilac drew back from him, pressing against the cool of the door as he continued.

“Lorietta and Bastion monitored us to ensure I didn’t get carried away.

It was a miniscule exchange, but it healed every wound in and on your body. ”

Suddenly, she understood his hesitancy. “Was a bond created?”

This would explain why she couldn’t imagine leaving his side. Her body flushed at the thought of being bound to him in that way; it was a concept she hadn’t been able to fathom when he’d explained the process to her in the carriage, and she certainly couldn’t now.

Confusion warred with the want that dared entertain the possibility. She couldn’t be bound to Garin. She was the queen.

“No,” he said brusquely. “According to the witches, the amount of blood we exchanged was not enough to warrant a complete bond. Whatever you’re feeling now is temporary—something that’s easily dissolved by time spent apart.”

Several emotions warred inside her, the strongest of them fury. Then behind it, regret. She was just fortunate to be here. The way he looked at her now, she wasn’t sure Garin felt the same.

“That’s why you need me gone.”

Irritation flashed across his face .

“I’ll have a meal first,” she said firmly, chin up. “Say thank you and goodbye to the others?—”

“I’m sure there’s a whole feast awaiting you at the castle.

Lorietta has closed the bar and kitchen outside of evening hours the past week.

She wanted to keep the inn as peaceful as possible for all of you to recover.

Everyone is in their rooms.” His response was curt, impatient, and he gestured for her to move away from the door.

Lilac peered up at him, incredulous. “Garin, my injuries would have been fatal had you not done the blood exchange. Right?”

His nostrils flared in answer, as if he were losing patience.

“Do you regret saving me?”

“We need to leave.” He shifted, his arm snaking around her waist for the knob.

Lilac gripped it tightly with her free hand, again blocking his attempt.

In a flash that startled a stifled scream from her, his lips slid against hers.

His hands moved against her arms, her waist, his tongue teasing her bottom lip before forcefully entering her mouth.

Her worry and anger settled at his scent, his taste enveloping her entirely.

Woodsmoke. A bluebell wood, strong and sweet.

Nothing else mattered. All she wanted was to be under him, around him. She’d dropped the blade and curled her fingers into his hair, and?—

Garin pulled away and tenderly wrapped one arm around her waist, the other jostling the knob at her back. The silver in his eyes began to shift, and the room began to shimmer.

Lilac shut her eyes, gripped his shoulders, and kneed him in the groin. Garin grunted in shock and spun her, pinning her front against the door. Lilac squirmed, shocked this time at her reaction and reflexes.

“Don’t fight me,” he said, sounding breathless. “Not now. Not like this.”

For the first time since waking, Lilac noticed how her whole body thrummed with energy, with vibrant life.

Everything felt enhanced. Yes, she had aches, and her anger and sadness had felt particularly vile…

but she also felt strong. Invincible. Was this the magic he’d mentioned that hadn’t quite left her body?

It was more than the adrenaline that had fueled her survival through Brocéliande.

She wanted to fight, seduce, and draw blood, preferably all at the same time .

Lilac could have stopped fighting him, as he’d advised. She could have turned back and kissed him again. She could have invited him to fuck her.

Instead, she elbowed him, hard, in the cheek.

“Fuck,” he said, his voice trembling against his restraint. “Stop it?—”

Pushing them off the door gave her just enough time to see him stumble back, then lunge for her, eyes wild and dark. The movement wasn’t slower than usual, but she could somehow track it, giving her just enough time to react. Heart pounding, Lilac ducked and rammed him around the waist.

Garin landed on the floor at the corner of the bed with a soft thud , still with the grace of a cat, and in the next second, she was straddling him.