Page 41 of Disillusioned (A Lay of Ruinous Reign #2)
Lilac laughed dryly. “You mean they aren’t willing to risk their standing if they aren’t certain I’ll accept and that their return is secured, because becoming France’s enemy might not be worth it otherwise?”
Henri gave a disgruntled shrug. “That is how this works, is it not? Information can be gleaned or even ambushed from a courier, they scarcely travel armed enough. Albrecht has made it clear he would like to meet with you and sent a letter ahead of his expected arrival come Monday. Tomorrow . That was all it relayed, among other fine details.”
“He sent a letter on his travels? He didn’t bother sending a request of any sort beforehand?”
“He must be confident in his offer.”
Now everything was starting to make sense. She had thought her parents seemed a tad too calm that morning .
What would she do? What of Garin? “Send it back. Tell him I—” Her hand flew to her mouth as she launched into a sudden coughing fit, throat tight. Deny was the word that failed to make it out. “I have too much to lose,” she managed. “I will not give up my freedom and name for a count.”
“Marriage to a noble might give you more of that than you think,” said Marguerite. “You do not have the time nor resources to be selective. Marriage to anyone in the emperor’s court will still highly benefit you.”
She wanted to shrivel into herself at the thought of some decrepit noble making his way to her castle on his pudgy old steed. “I can’t marry just any—” She exhaled. Any broken attempt to explain that this was not what she wanted for herself would fall on deaf ears.
“Well dear,” Henri said, “Albrecht’s name would come with its own benefits and protections.
He is in favor of the emperor, and you’d become one of the ladies of the Holy Roman Empire.
Think of the benefit to you, to your kingdom.
He’s already nearly here, why don’t you hear what he has to say?
He is expected at some point in the morning. ”
Marguerite steeled herself against her daughter’s burning glare.
“If he has anything to offer you, he will be welcome to remain at our castle until you’ve made a decision.
Hopefully before your coronation ceremony Saturday evening.
He will be in attendance at the ball following.
You will get to know him. Maybe even grow fond of him. ”
“But what about the Le Tallecs?” she pointed out.
“No one knows that Vivien and Armand are dead. We haven’t made an announcement, have we?
” Garin had listened to the proclamation from Henri’s carriage window and said that they’d proclaimed Sinclair’s arrest. To her knowledge, it was all that was said.
“We haven’t,” Henri confirmed, lowering his voice. “But a statement must be made since they won’t be in attendance. Any delay will stoke suspicion. You can make a preemptive announcement to your guests, so they are not caught off guard. Then, we will send out a notice with the town criers.”
She imagined what the notice might say. “After discovering Vivien, murdered and dismembered by Sinclair, Armand traveled here and killed himself on the floor of our Grand Hall. Their son is in my custody and not a threat to society any longer.”
“Precisely,” Henri said. “Simple. Brilliant.”
Her father was right; any effort to hide their deaths would be suspicious.
It felt like he was covering her, but she reminded herself, were she accused, Henri and Vivien would shoulder the same blame.
It was the truth, so far as her parents knew.
The only thing he hadn’t spoken a word of was Armand’s insistence of Lilac’s involvement with the vampires.
She would not mention it any further. More Daemon scandal would not help her in boosting morale in the case of a war; luckily, it hadn’t seemed anyone else in the Grand Hall at the time of Armand’s accusations had believed him.
What did Henri believe, though?
“So it would behoove you to remain here to welcome everyone coming to celebrate you. Maybe even proposition you.” When Lilac didn’t answer, her mother intently sliced her grape in half, popping it into her mouth on the end of a fork and savoring it.
Even before Garin’s caution over a possible bond developing—far before their journey and the crash—her mind had been consumed by concern over the Accords meeting and seeing him again.
She’d been distracted from the matters at her castle, the matter of her hand; she’d been a fool to think denying Sinclair was the end of it. Now that everything was forced into focus, she couldn’t help but feel jarred into an unbridled anger.
Anger at her parents, surely with Garin…
but she had no one else to blame except herself.
The past few days had been spent throwing herself at other matters of duty in order to distract herself, making herself sick with the effects of prolonging Garin’s demands.
All she had to do was enter a marriage that might save her kingdom from war.
If she just did as she was told, it would make everyone happy. The thought made her insides coil, but her kingdom was at stake.
Really , a small voice at the back of her mind said. Was it Garin being selfish?
It had been impossible to make a sound decision with the incessant gnawing at her insides, and apparent the inability to focus or remember small details. She needed to see him. It would quiet her body and mind.
“I am leaving for some fresh air and privacy,” Lilac announced. “If anyone follows me, they will find themselves rotting beside Sinclair.”
She turned the knob and strode out into the early evening, willing herself to forget the open-mouthed glare of her mother, and her father’s face half hidden in his cup, deciding not to mention she intended to return by the end of the night.
Maybe she shouldn’t. Maybe she should never return and spend the rest of her days waking up in the arms of the man who infuriated her.
She was not the only pawn here, so far as she was concerned.
“Let them send search parties. I’ll order them home,” Lilac drawled to the guard as he trailed her along the courtyard corridor that lined the patch of grass and imported greenery, riverstones surrounding the duck pond at the center.
For a fleeting moment, she thought basking in the deep amber light and pondering her woes until the torches lit might be a better idea than the one she had in mind.
Then, she saw his eyes in the stars, just visible in the gradient of dusk—winking, vicious demons of time—and stomped all the way through the shaded passage to the bailey, where Giles greeted her with a wave.
The horses and plain carriage were once again prepared for departure, just as she’d sent her handmaidens to prepare in urgency.
She swallowed, marveling at the way her racing heart and bubbling nerves seemed to subside the closer she strode to the stable.
Lilac allowed the guard to help her up the carriage step, then thanked and dismissed him.
She’d brought no bags this time, only her dagger strapped to her thigh, and the inescapable, unholy need to see him again.
The last few days might’ve seen a moment of weakness from her, but the moment she’d discovered there were no propositions for her to consider, Lilac decided it was time.
When she thought she could try to push through the unsettling sensations her body and mind betrayed her with under Garin’s entrancement, the feeling had surprisingly lessened.
Her nausea had mostly subsided by the time she’d joined her parents for supper, and now, in the breeze, it felt as if she’d just removed a particularly tight corset. She exhaled and took in the night, savoring the lightness on her body.
For the first time in days, she could breathe. The worst of the soul-crushing anxiety was over.
Garin had entranced her, demanded she return to the castle, consider her propositions, and marry. She’d done so. She’d obeyed—and indeed, did not marry while lacking a proposition.
His horrid hold on her was over .
Lilac felt naked without her cloak, but the relief quelled her slight shiver, providing plenty of warmth; she wouldn’t need it this time to protect her from the frost, Daemons, or nosy onlookers.
Let them see me , she thought. Let the world know that I am free—that no one controls me, not God, man, nor monster.
This was her realm. If her kingdom once considered her wicked enough to lock away, and if Garin felt he needed to entrance her to marry, then Lilac was a formidable enough force to be seen imbibing at a tavern—or leading her men into war.