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Chapter Seven

Five weeks later

Jesse

We’d kind of settled into a routine. Sergeant Martin had been by a couple of times and gotten a full statement which had been a nightmare. Martin had offered to talk to me with a lawyer but I’d just wanted Saul there.

The worst thing had been asking me if I’d been raped, and no, by the strict definition as Saul had explained, because I hadn’t been penetrated.

He used to jack off, especially when he’d burned me, but for some reason he never did that.

The sergeant’s friend in the FBI was convinced that Graham hadn’t suddenly gone from zero to kidnapping and attempted murder, but unfortunately that meant tying him to other disappearances or finding CCTV or witnesses.

So far it was just his word against mine and that obviously wouldn’t fly.

Saul and Chris had sorted out their work so I was never alone. Apparently it was easier for Saul as he set the restaurant schedule but Chris was hoping to be made Captain when his own retired in three months so he was stuck.

I looked a ton better. My bruises had gone and I was enjoying experimenting with some recipes Saul wanted for the diner. He had endless patience, but then so did Chris, even though he expected to be in charge.

Not that I minded as he was completely fair.

But now that I was healing I’d started noticing them both in other ways.

The worst time was at night. I knew they tried to be quiet, but after hearing them together two nights ago when they’d both thought I was asleep, I’d had to jerk off before I exploded.

I sagged down on the edge of the bed and rested my head in my hands.

It wasn’t fair. I knew neither of them would look at me after the disaster when I’d thrown myself at Saul, but I dreamed of Chris giving me orders in that same deep voice he commanded Saul with, and there had been a couple of times I’d fallen asleep against Saul’s shoulder watching TV only to wake with his arms wrapped around me.

In fact, once I’d even pretended to stay asleep as Chris had cradle-carried me to bed, and I could swear Saul had brushed a kiss on my forehead as they tucked me in.

But that wasn’t all I was getting uncomfortable about.

They both flatly refused to let me work, as they insisted it wasn’t safe.

In fact it had been the closest we’d come to an argument last night when I’d told them I couldn’t sponge off either of them anymore.

Chris had called me “boy” in that way of his, and I’d retorted I wasn’t a child, even though I was pretty sure calling me that in his Dom voice wasn’t what he meant.

And then I’d acted like the child I’d insisted I wasn’t by going to my room and ignoring them both for the rest of the night.

I’d heard Saul tell me breakfast was ready but I’d ignored that as well, and now I was stuck.

Chris wasn’t working, but he’d gone into work for a performance review which I gathered was a big deal, so I knew Saul would be on babysitting duty.

Heaving a sigh because I knew I was being an ungrateful brat, I opened my door and went into the kitchen.

I knew Saul was in the living room because I could hear the soft jazz he liked playing.

I saw the oven was on which meant he’d plated my breakfast and was keeping it warm, which made me feel even more of a shit.

I poured a coffee and taking a deep breath walked into the living room.

What I saw had me coming to an abrupt stop. I gaped at the scraps of material and wool strewn all around Saul. “What are you doing?” I asked all argument forgotten.

He grinned ruefully and looked up. “We’re one of the drop-offs for the Christmas toy drive.” He flushed a little. “We’ve gotten all these teddies in pieces. Torn ears, no stuffing. I’m useless with a needle but with my server Gemma having the baby there’s no one else to do it.”

I shuffled nearer. He had hold of a cute brown bear that reminded me so much of Teddy my hand had reached out for him before I realized what I was doing. Not that Saul stopped me. In fact he sat quietly and didn’t interrupt me as I examined him.

I suddenly realized and flushed, looking up. “I had a bear exactly like this when I was a kid.”

Saul smiled gently. “It’s my old one. I fished her out to see how she’s sewed together, but I’m useless at this.”

I bit my lip, the urge to share overwhelming. “Dad took mine away when I couldn’t remember the psalm he’d said I had to learn.”

Saul swallowed. “How old were you?”

“Five,” I mumbled.

Saul reached out and squeezed my hand and for some reason I didn’t let go of the bear.

“I don’t suppose you’re any good with a needle, are you?”

I knew he’d said it as a joke but it was my turn to smile. “I am actually. It was something my dad hated, but we had a neighbor who watched me regularly and she taught me.” I looked over at him. “I can do these.”

I settled on the floor next to Saul, taking one of the bears and examining the torn seam along its side. The familiar feel of the soft fur under my fingers brought back memories of sitting at Mrs. Walters' kitchen table, learning how to make tiny, neat stitches.

Saul's face lit up with surprise and relief. "That would be amazing. I've been trying to get these fixed before the drive ends next week."

"How many are there?" I asked, already sorting through the pile to assess the damage.

"About twenty." Saul handed me a small sewing kit. "Plenty of reattaching limbs, fixing seams, replacing eyes."

I opened the kit, finding needles, thread, and basic supplies. "This is perfect. I can start right now."

For the next hour, we sat in companionable silence.

Saul worked on his menus and I lost myself in good memories.

I worked methodically, my fingers remembering the skills Mrs. Walters had taught me.

The repetitive motion of the needle was soothing, and I found myself relaxing in a way I hadn't for months.

In my head I created backgrounds for each teddy, I was just imagining one that was a secret magician when Saul spoke.

"You're really good at this," Saul commented, watching me secure a button eye on a floppy-eared rabbit.

I shrugged, embarrassed by the praise. "It's not hard."

"Maybe not for you." He chuckled. "I tried to fix that yellow one and it looks like it survived a horror movie."

I glanced at the lopsided bear he pointed to and laughed—a genuine laugh that surprised us both. "I can fix that too."

Saul smiled, his eyes warm. "You know, this is exactly what I needed help with. And it would be a huge contribution to the drive."

I paused in my stitching, understanding what he was offering—a way to feel useful without risking my safety by getting a job outside the house. "I'd like to help," I said softly. "With all of them."

"That would be..." Saul's voice caught slightly. "That would be really wonderful, Jesse."

We worked side by side, Saul sorting and stuffing as instructed while I handled the repairs.

He even got up and handed me a bacon sandwich which I scarfed down at one point.

It felt good to be doing something productive, something that mattered.

By lunchtime, I'd completed seven bears. I kept glancing over at the one that had belonged to Saul. “What’s his name?”

He flushed. “Penelope.” I grinned and Saul shrugged. “I wanted a baby sister that never happened.” I kept looking over at her. Mine had just been called Teddy.

"These kids are going to be so happy," Saul said, arranging the fixed toys in a basket. "Some of them wouldn't get anything for Christmas otherwise."

I thought about that as I carefully stitched a bowtie back onto a teddy's neck. "My bear—the one like this—was the only thing I had as a child... I didn’t have games or puzzles. My father bought me books, but they were all religious instruction ones."

Saul's hand covered mine gently. "I'm sorry, Jesse." I glanced at Saul’s hand touching mine, and didn’t dare move in case I did something foolish like try and kiss him again.

I shrugged, blinking back unexpected tears. "It's just a toy."

"No," Saul said firmly. "It's not just a toy. It matters. You matter." He picked up the bear and pressed her into my arms without saying a word. I gazed down, my eyes filling, but I didn’t let go. I opened my mouth to say god only knew what when we both heard the door unlock and Chris’s familiar rumble as he walked in. He walked right into the room and grinned. Saul took one look at him and shrieked, jumping up and flinging himself into Chris’s arms. “You got it, didn’t you? I knew you would.”

It was the promotion. I opened my mouth to congratulate him as well, but they were wrapped around each other so tight they never looked my way. So I did the only thing I could and stood to leave.

Except Chris’s hand shot out and stopped me. Saul was bubbling over with glee, and caught me around my waist to bring me into the group hug.

And then it happened, and I had no idea how. I wasn’t sure if Chris was aiming for Saul and he moved, or I did, but in a moment straight from a movie Chris’s lips were on mine… and he tasted fucking amazing.

Chris

I froze, my lips still pressed against Jesse's, my mind struggling to catch up with what was happening. His mouth was soft, yielding, and for one breathless moment, everything seemed to stop. Then reality crashed back in, and I pulled away, my heart hammering against my ribs.

"Jesse, I—" I started, but the words died in my throat as I saw his expression – shock, confusion, and something else that made my chest tighten. He touched his fingers to his lips, his eyes wide.

"I'm sorry," we both said at the same time.

Saul stood beside us, his mouth slightly open, his gaze darting between us. The silence stretched, thick with unspoken words and tangled emotions.

Jesse was the first to break it. "I should go," he whispered, already backing toward the hallway.