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Chapter Four

James

I hadn’t seen Ethan since he was a gangly kid with braces and a crooked grin, but here he was, looking at me like I was the best dessert on the menu.

The kid from my memories was all grown up and hot as fuck.

Just sitting across from him at the table made me wish I’d looked him up sooner. But how would I have known he was gay and adorable and possibly interested in me.

When he asked me to order for him, my gut said I was on to something. He was dropping hints, and I could either let them pass or run with it until we both knew the other’s intention.

I ordered the lasagna for myself and the ravioli for him, but sharing was on the table if he was so inclined. Hell, if he let me spoon-feed him, I’d do it with a rock-hard dick pressing against my pants.

“Wine?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, please.” Ethan nodded, and his shoulders dropped like he was finally ready to relax. That was good because I wanted him to open up to me like he did when he was younger.

As soon as we each had a glass in hand, the conversation started to flow more freely.

He’s always been a quiet person, but the way he seemed to crave being taken care of went straight to my list of favorite things.

He filled me in on his life and explained that he came out in college and then took a job for a realtor after he graduated, but he didn’t like it.

“Too many decisions,” he said with a shrug. “It made my head spin.”

“I get that. Too much thinking is never a good idea.”

He laughed at my silly comment.

It was a sweet, breathy sound that made me wish we were already in the kind of relationship where I could pull him across the table and kiss him. Or maybe any kind of relationship. Why do I want to kiss him?

“I actually considered calling you to see if I could get a job at your old company.” His eyes were focused on the salt shaker, and he briefly glanced up at me. “But that would have been weird and inappropriate.”

“It wouldn’t have been either of those.” I leaned forward and placed my hand over his. “You should’ve called then, but I’m really glad you did today.”

He could barely meet my gaze as he smiled down into his lap. “Can I ask you something, Mister— Um, James?”

Everything about him was so fucking adorable I couldn’t get enough. “Anything at all, sweetheart.”

He sucked in a deep breath and looked up at me. “This almost feels like a date.”

I smirked and squeezed the hand I was still loosely holding. “That’s not a question, boy.”

A full-body shudder rocked through him, and the longing in his eyes was undeniable. “Is this a date?”

“I hope it is.” So badly. “What do you hope it is?”

He swallowed and a small smile crossed his mouth. “A date.”

“Then we’re on the same page.” I released his hand and leaned back in my chair and just watched the relief roll off him.

We easily touched on every topic that came to mind. When he asked about my divorce, I explained that she had cheated on me, but it wasn’t entirely her fault. We’d drifted apart and couldn’t give each other what we needed.

She realized before I did that I was bisexual. It took me some time to accept what I’d tried to deny for so long, but once I didn’t have to be entirely straight for my partner, I was able to think a bit more clearly.

I even attempted online dating a few times, but those encounters resulted in quick hookups that didn’t satisfy me at all.

I needed more than a fuckbuddy.

I needed someone to have dinner with and talk to and… take care of.

The lust in Ethan’s eyes turned to something more intimate as he soaked up every detail I offered.

“I never would have guessed you were anything other than a hundred percent hetero.” He shook his head as if his mind was blown.

“No one is a hundred percent anything.” I winked and realized our plates were empty. “Did you save room for dessert?”

He cringed. “I wish, because I love their gelato, but I’m too stuffed right now.”

Right now? Was that an invitation for later ? “I might have some ice cream at my place. I had a grocery delivery yesterday, and I’m pretty sure there was some chunky monkey in there.”

Ethan’s jaw dropped. “You still eat that?” He laughed as he wiped his mouth with his napkin and sat back. “That was the best part about going to your house. You always had chunky monkey or cookie dough ice cream.”

“Some things never change.” Now it was my turn to chuckle. “Actually, it’s one of the few things in my life that hasn’t changed.”

The server came with the tab, so I quickly glanced at it and pulled out enough cash to cover it, plus a generous tip so we didn’t have to wait for a receipt. “Ready to get outta here?”

Ethan nodded but was quiet again. “Thank you for dinner.”

“It’s been my pleasure.” When he was standing, I placed my arm behind his back and guided him toward the door. Since we’d both agreed we were on a date, this kind of touching didn’t feel inappropriate. It felt completely, perfectly appropriate. “Did you drive here?”

“No.” He leaned closer when we stepped out into the cool evening. There was a breeze that had rolled in over the past few hours. “I live a few blocks away.”

I cocked my head, surprised by that. “Me too.”

His eyebrows shot up as he craned his neck to look at me. “Really, where?”

“On Cherry. Between 7th and 8th.”

“Shut up!” Ethan stopped and pulled away. “That’s where I live.”

“In Madison Manor?” How had I not noticed him before? The condo complex I bought into right after the divorce wasn’t that big. “Which floor?”

“No, um. Not there.” He started walking again. “I’m across the street in Wilmington Apartments.”

No shit. He was directly across from me. “That makes walking you home even easier.”

Ethan shivered and squeezed his arms over his chest. “Why is it so cold tonight? I was nice earlier.”

I slipped my jacket off and hung it over his shoulders. “Don’t want you catching a cold.”

He hummed into the warmth and pressed against my side. “Thank you. You were always such a good Daddy.” His hand flew up to his mouth, and he stifled a soft laugh. “Sorry. That shouldn’t have slipped out.”

“Don’t apologize.” I pressed a light kiss to the side of his head. “You were always such a good boy. It’s a pleasure to Daddy you.”

Ethan swallowed hard and slowly looked up at me. “Don’t tease me, James. Please, don’t.”

I held his gaze, stopping at the corner before crossing toward his building. “I’m not teasing, sweetheart. You’ve grown up to be a very sexy man, and I’m having trouble keeping my thoughts PG.”

“I’m an adult now.” He smirked, and we stepped off the curb. “You can think x-rated thoughts about me. I sure as hell am thinking them about you.”

Fuck me. Like, literally, fuck me, Ethan.

“What kind of thoughts?”

He was quiet as we approached the door to his building. “I’ve always had a crush on you.”

My eyes slowly shut because I had to obscure my sight or I’d embarrass myself just from looking at that sweet face. “I had no idea.”

“Good. I was terrified you’d figure me out.

” He turned to face me at the bottom of his steps.

“I would have died if you knew I jacked off five times a day with your face in my mind. And every time you made us lunch or took us to the movies, I wanted you to pull me into your arms and tell me you cared about me too.”

“Ethan.” My hands went to his cheeks, and I held his face right where I wanted it. Inches from mine and completely focused on me. “I did care about you. Still do.” I leaned close enough that my nose nuzzled over his. “A lot.”

He was ready to melt and come at the same time. It was hot as fuck.

When he leaned closer, I went for a kiss.

“Wait.” Ethan had a panicked expression as he pushed away from me.

“Shit, Ethan.” I pulled my hands back, giving him plenty of space. “I’m so sorry. That was totally inappropriate. I didn’t mean to frigh?—”

Before I could finish my apology, he grabbed both of my extended hands and balled them together in his. “You didn’t. And it wasn’t.” He pulled a long breath through his nose before he looked at me. “I just… don’t know how.”

My heart almost stopped. “You’ve never been kissed?”

“Not really.” His face was brighter red than I’d ever seen it as he tried to tuck his chin to his chest. “Not well, anyway.”

“I should have asked permission, first. I’m sorry for being presumptuous.”

He shook his head and steeled his shoulders, seemingly gathering up his courage. “You have my permission, I just needed to warn you.”

Fuck, I loved being his first real kiss.

I gently pressed my lips to Ethan's without trying to deepen it. Just my mouth over his in a sweet and perfect connection.

It shouldn’t have made me hard and hot and desperate for more, but it did. And I held back. There would be plenty of time for more, but not tonight.

Next time. There would definitely be a next time.