Page 22

Prologue

This wasn’t one of those silly spin-the-bottle moments.

No, this was the real thing. Just her and CJ, her college crush, about to kiss.

Kenna’s pulse raced, a thready pounding in her veins as she blinked up into CJ’s brown eyes, the dim light catching the flecks of gold she’d noticed so many times before.

Her knees actually felt weak. Wasn’t that something that only happened in books?

But as CJ moved closer, an inch at a time, all Kenna could do was sigh.

She’d never kissed a girl before, no matter how often she’d thought about it.

Especially this girl. And that moment just before their lips met, when CJ exhaled and Kenna inhaled, was almost painful, exquisite anticipation running hot in her veins.

Then it was just the soft press of her crush’s lips against hers, and the noise from the party faded into the background.

CJ tasted faintly of beer, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was the way Kenna wanted to sort of fall into her. To feel her soft hands on her skin. To know what it felt like to have bare breasts pressed to her own.

Yes, please .

CJ’s tongue flicked out at her bottom lip, and she opened for her, letting her in.

And good god, no guy had ever kissed her like that before.

It was sweet and demanding all at once, her lips so damn soft and plush.

It was dizzying. And simply knowing it was another girl felt like a dream come true and a little scary all at the same time.

Finally .

CJ’s hands went into her hair, but Kenna was too frozen with a heady mix of nerves and desire to do what she wanted to do, needed to do: touch her. Her face, her shoulders. More. So much more.

CJ pulled back, and Kenna’s heart broke a little knowing the kiss was over. CJ blinked at her, her eyes glossy with what looked like the same desire Kenna felt reverberating through her body, like some long musical note held out for long, intoxicating moments. But there was also doubt in her eyes.

Before she had time to think about it, Kenna cupped CJ’s face between her hands and pulled her back in. And there it was again; that long-buried desire scorching her system, making her heart pound right out of her chest.

The knowledge that this was a girl she was kissing. And even more, that it was CJ.

But it lasted only a moment or two before CJ pulled back again.

“I’m sorry,” CJ muttered. “I’m just…a little drunk. I’m sorry.”

Kenna shook her head, momentarily unable to speak. “No, it’s fine,” she said finally, then wanted to kick herself for being so spectacularly unable to express what she really felt.

“Look, I know you have a boyfriend,” CJ said, holding her hands up, palms out in front of her as if she were surrendering.

“Oh, but I… He doesn’t…” Kenna stuttered.

God, why can’t I form a fucking sentence?

“It’s… fine. We can forget about it, okay? I’m sorry,” CJ apologized again. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I know you’re straight. I’ve just had a few too many beers. I didn’t mean to do this. I fucked up.”

Shit .

CJ took a step back, then another as Kenna’s heart sank.

And sank even further as she watched her weave her way through the crowd of rowdy, drunken party-goers and out the door.

And all she could do was watch her go, unable to move as the music pounded in her head, as one of the guys from the football team bumped into her, almost knocking her off her feet.

It wasn’t that she was too drunk; she was barely a little buzzed.

It wasn’t even the idea that her boyfriend, Ben, was somewhere in the crowd, that he might have seen her kiss CJ.

No, it was CJ . It was the wanting she’d left behind when she’d walked out that door.

A yearning for the beautifully androgynous girl Kenna had carried since they’d first met freshman year.

A yearning she’d always had for other girls, on one level or another, for most of her life. One she could never admit to.

A yearning that had been fulfilled only moments earlier, and which Kenna would never experience again.

“Fuck.”