Page 27

Chapter Three

She was letting her do it. Letting Kenna kiss her. And she was kissing her back. And for god’s sake, she’d never felt anything like those sweet lips on hers. Just a soft press, flesh to flesh, with nothing deeper, and yet it was the most intimate moment of her goddamn life.

A voice in the back of CJ’s mind kept telling her to stop, that she shouldn’t be doing this, that she had to regain control.

But the moment Kenna had begged to be kissed, it was all over for her.

The moment Kenna laid her hands on her cheeks, she was done for.

And in those brief moments when Kenna pulled her closer, that second when she felt the warmth of her sweet breath against her lips, she went loose all over, and all she could do was lean in. Into Kenna. Into the kiss.

There was no tongue play. There didn’t need to be.

Just that sweet press of lips, then a pause, both of them pulling back a fraction of an inch so they were still nearly touching, then another press, then pulling back, a brushing of their lips.

Kenna tasted like strawberries. How was that even possible?

It was almost as if there was a sense of strawberries about her rather than an actual flavor.

She didn’t even know what she meant.

Just that she never wanted this to stop.

Her hands went into Kennas’s hair, then slid around to cup the back of her neck, and Kenna’s hands still held her face.

It was the sweetest, most sensual kiss. She was only able to stop when Kenna bit her bottom lip, just a tiny nibble that went through her like a sensual shock, making her pull in a gasping breath.

Kenna pulled back, and CJ saw her smile.

“That didn’t feel wrong,” Kenna said on a whisper.

“No,” CJ agreed. “It felt… just right. Like something I’ve waited for my whole life.”

“Mmm, yes. That’s it exactly.”

“I swear I’ll apologize for this tomorrow. But right now…”

CJ leaned in and took her mouth, and this time it was all passion and heat, their tongues curling together, exploring. There was nothing tentative about it; they kissed each other as though they’d kissed a thousand times before. As if their mouths knew each other.

CJ’s body was on fire with need, a need that rose, spiraled, until she understood if they didn’t stop she really would lose all control. She pulled her mouth from Kenna’s with a sigh.

“Pretty girl, we can’t. I can’t.” She gazed into Kenna’s eyes. They were glazed with desire, and probably with subspace. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I do. Yeah.” She pouted as she said it, making CJ want to kiss her again.

That would be very dangerous territory.

She pulled in a deep breath, let it out slowly. “Okay, Kenna girl. Time for some aftercare for both of us.”

She helped her off the table and took her to a leather-covered loveseat against one wall, and as she sat she pulled Kenna down with her, draping her across her lap.

Kenna laid her head on CJ’s shoulder and snuggled in.

And although the heat of her body, and the softness of her pressed so close against her, sent desire shimmering over her skin, she also felt a strange sense of absolute peace.

They sat together for a long time, simply breathing together.

Finally CJ came down enough to re-anchor herself in reality, and felt a bit guilty for not having done it sooner.

“Babygirl, let’s get some water into you.”

“I don’t want to get up,” Kenna said quietly, burying her face in CJ’s neck.

Immediately, the embers of need in CJ’s body were stoked into new flames, and she had to force herself to calm down.

“It’s my job to take care of you right now,” she insisted.

Kenna let out a big sigh. “Okay. If we must.”

CJ lifted her as she got up, turning around to set her back down on the loveseat.

“I’ll be right back—two seconds. Don’t go anywhere.”

She waited for Kenna to nod her compliance before she made her way to the big tub of ice that was filled with bottles of water, juice, and sodas. She grabbed two bottles of water and went back to her girl.

My girl .

Maybe someday. Maybe soon.

She opened the bottle and held it out to Kenna, who took it and obediently drank.

“Good girl.”

CJ sipped at hers, watching Kenna, who was all loose limbs, her green eyes still glazed.

She squatted in front of her. “Kenna? Tell me how you’re doing. Are you good?”

“So good.”

“Do you feel any subdrop?”

Kenna shook her head. “I just feel… amazing. I can’t believe how high I flew with that little bit of play.”

“That’s good, babygirl. But it also means you might crash. Tell me what you do for self-care if you’re at home by yourself and you drop.”

“Mmm… I take a hot bath, then get into bed with some chocolate, and I watch my favorite movies. Or sometimes when I have delayed drop, I just go to work at the rescue and cuddle the dogs and cats. But CJ…” She paused as she struggled to sit upright.

“I don’t… I mean, I can go home tonight and I’ll manage, but…

I honestly can’t stand the idea of leaving here without you. ”

The words hit CJ like a punch to the gut. So much more powerful because she felt exactly the same way.

She took Kenna’s hand and laid a kiss on her open palm. “Are you saying the aftercare you need is to be with me tonight?”

Kenna nodded, her face solemn.

“I need that, too,” CJ admitted. “Do you want me to come to your place with you?”

“Yes, please. Will you? Will you, really?”

“Yeah. Of course I will.”

Kenna smiled, her sweet face lighting up, and CJ felt as if she’d accomplished something enormous. Something important.

Every moment with Kenna felt important.

“Let’s do it, baby. Let’s get out of here.”

CJ had helped Kenna get dressed and fetched her coat from the club’s coat check, then helped her into it, and Kenna felt so utterly cared for.

It still felt like a dream to have CJ there with her.

The connection between them itself felt like a dream— maybe because she had dreamed about this so many times, for so many years.

They went downstairs and CJ ordered a Lyft, and soon they were on their way to Kenna’s apartment, cuddling in the back of the car during the drive, CJ’s fingers curled around hers.

They pulled up in front of Kenna’s house, a 1940s white-stucco two-story home with a tiled roof, and the garage and basement on the ground floor.

“Kenna, you live here?” CJ asked as they got out of the car.

“Mmm, yep. I inherited it from my Aunt Diane, my dad’s sister. That’s why I moved back here two years ago. I’ve always loved this house, and I wasn’t going to sell it, or rent it out. Isn’t it pretty?”

“It’s beautiful. But do you realize we’ve been living just a few minutes from each other for the last two years? I’m just on the other side of Golden Gate Park. I run this way through the park almost every morning. Do you ever go to Roxie Market? They have the best deli.”

“I go there all the time—I can walk there from here. How did we never run into each other? That’s so crazy.”

“Yeah, maybe. Or maybe we were meant to find our way back to each other again,” CJ said, stroking a hand over Kenna’s hair. “Okay, let’s get you inside; it’s chilly out here.”

Kenna led the way up the stairs and unlocked the heavy wood door, and they stepped into the entryway.

“Wow, this place is really gorgeous. These wood floors. And the row of paned windows overlooking the street is classic San Francisco. Looks like your aunt kept it in pristine condition.”

“She did. I haven’t had to do any work on the place since I moved in. I love this house so much. And it makes me feel as if I haven’t lost her completely, you know? We were really close.”

“Yeah, that makes sense to me. I can see why you love it. Well, if it ever needs any work, you now know someone who’s handy with tools. I’m a classic lesbian like that,” CJ said with a grin. “Come on, show me where you want to get comfy.”

“Is it okay if we just get into bed?”

“Yes, of course. But only after you show me the kitchen so I can make sure you have some more water and maybe a snack.”

Kenna had to smile, loving the level of caretaking. She could definitely get used to this. If she dared.

Don’t go into a doubt spiral now.

“It’s this way,” she told CJ, leading her down the hall to the gray-and-white kitchen. “There’s bottled water in the fridge.”

“Perfect.” CJ opened the refrigerator and pulled two bottles out, handing one to Kenna. “Now, what about snacks? I need to make sure your blood sugar is good.”

“Um… I always have cheese and prosciutto and stuff in there. And there’s some crackers in the pantry.”

“Excellent. I’m going to make us a little charcuterie plate. Ah, and you have some red grapes. Now, do you want to go get into bed or stay in here with me while I get it put together? As long as you don’t mind me poking through your kitchen, that is.”

“I can help,” Kenna suggested.

CJ scowled at her, but it was a mock-scowl, making Kenna giggle.

“Okay, okay. I’ll just um… I’ll go get into my nightie and climb into bed. It’s the last door on the left, down the hallway. If that’s okay?”

“Absolutely. I’ll be in there in just a few.”

Kenna made her way to her bedroom. Her salt lamp cast a pale amber glow over the cozy room, so she didn’t turn on any other lights.

She got undressed, then found her pink cotton nightgown on the hook on the back of the closet door and slipped into it before turning down the white down comforter on the bed and climbing in.

She pulled her faux-fur throw blanket up and cuddled her white stuffed kitty.

Then, realizing she wasn’t sure she wanted CJ to see it, she tucked it under her pillows and petted the throw instead.