Page 29 of Desperate Games

She signed the papers before she ever signed a birth certificate.

God, I miss her.

Renee.

She was born three minutes and fourteen seconds after me, and from the second she opened those bright green eyes, I felt like I was supposed to protect her.

Like maybe I was made for it.

Twins, sure—but polar opposites.

She was small, soft, full of spark and trouble. Blonde curls. A raspy little voice and a laugh that came in fits.

I was the giant with dark hair and a scowl, already over six feet by the time I hit junior year.

We shared the same eyes though—vivid emerald green.

The kind that turned heads.

The kind that looked for action and adventure around every corner.

I found mine by serving our country. Renee? She found hers at the bottom of a pill bottle.

But she was always a little too wild. A little too reckless.

Callie has the same eyes as us.

It’s eerie sometimes.

Beautiful and painful all at once.

Like looking at Renee and the best parts of me, all wrapped into one tiny, messy, pink-glittered package.

I will do anything to protect Callie. To make sure her future is better than Renee’s or even mine.

As an adult, I chose a dangerous life.

There’s blood on my hands and battle scars under my skin.

I wasn’t there for my sister when I should have been.

Yeah, I sent money when our parents cut her off. I paid her rent. But that wasn’t enough.

I hate myself for failing her. But I don’t dwell on it. I can’t.

Time marches on and Callie deserves more from me.

Yeah, Mom's been raising Callie these past few years in a quiet house outside Roseland while I get my shit in order.

Suburbs. Good school system. Close enough that I can visit on weekends, holidays, random Tuesdays when I can’t stand being away.

Callie’s almost three now.

Fine baby hair. Bright green eyes that seem to know everything.

She still lives with Mom full-time, but she calls me every single night and insists I hold her pinky whenever I’m near.

Like it’s some kind of magic talisman.