Page 122 of Desperate Games

I press my hands over my belly, feel the tiny lives moving inside me, and think of the little girl already asleep upstairs with her stuffed elephant and her favorite bunny and sparkly pink night-light.

No one is tearing this family apart.

Not Julio. Not a judge. Not anyone.

I lift my chin and meet Remy’s blazing eyes, and for the first time, I don’t just accept his rage.

I match it.

“They’re not taking her from us,” I whisper, voice low but steady. “Not on Christmas. Not ever.”

His jaw flexes. His green eyes glitter and his nostrils flare.

And then he nods.

Once. A sharp, decisive movement.

And I know, I know what he’s really saying without so many words.

I know what he’s going to do.

And I should be appalled, but I’m not.

I’m proud. I’m so fucking proud to call this man, this warrior, mine.

“Come back to me in one piece.”

“I will. I always will,” he rumbles back.

And I hear what it really is.

A vow. His vow. To me.

I kiss his lips, and he lingers for one long, beautiful second before he leaves to do whatever he has to. And I love him all the more for it.

Chapter Forty-Two-Remy

I can’t imagine what Judgment Day will look like for me.

With all the bad shit I’ve done—whether under the guise of duty or not—it’s all bad.

Blood on my hands.

Secrets I’ll carry to the grave.

Brothers in uniform lost in battle.

My sister who died when I wasn’t there to protect her.

But this? What I’m about to do right now?

I have a feeling this particular thing won’t be the one that keeps me on the other side of those pearly gates.

Because with that Christmas Eve visitation looming over our heads like Doomsday, I have no other choice.

The way my Andy looked at me. The way she knew what I needed from her?

Her ready acceptance. Her approval. Her go ahead.