Page 19 of Demon Daddy’s Nanny (Demon Daddies #3)

19

RIDWAN

T he night stretches endless, each minute dragging like centuries as I stand at my office window. New Solas glitters beyond the glass, its golden spires piercing the dark sky, but I barely register their beauty. My wings ache from holding them rigid, matching the tension in my shoulders, in my chest.

Five nights. Five nights since I tasted her, since I felt her soft lips yield beneath mine, her small gasp of surprise melting into something sweeter. Five nights since I fled like a coward, leaving her standing alone in the hallway.

I press my forehead against the cool glass. The memory of her confrontation burns fresh - her eyes bright with hurt, demanding answers I couldn't give. I can't want you. The words had torn from my throat, rough and raw. A lie wrapped in truth. Because I do want her. More than I've wanted anything since?—

My fist clenches at my side. No. I won't think of Sera. Won't compare the two, won't let myself remember how that ended.

But Eva's absence carves deeper than expected. The house feels hollow without her laughter, without those small moments when she'd bring tea to my office, her smile warming the room more than any drink could. Now she moves through the halls like a ghost, speaking only when necessary, her eyes sliding past me as if I'm made of smoke.

I deserve it. Better she hate me than - my wings snap tight against my back - than end up like Sera. Than have me fail her too.

The city lights blur. I've built walls for a reason, constructed this distance brick by brick. But Eva... she slipped through the cracks I didn't know existed, brought color to my grayscale world. And now, watching that light dim, watching her withdraw...

My chest constricts. The warmth in her eyes has gone cold, replaced by something guarded, wounded. I did that. I put that shadow there.

It's better this way, I tell myself. But the words ring hollow in the silence of my office, in this house that feels more like a tomb with each passing day.

Sleep evades me, my wings restless against silk sheets. The ceiling offers no answers, just shadows that twist into her face, her form. Eva. The name alone sends heat coursing through my veins.

I roll onto my side, but the emptiness of the massive bed only emphasizes her absence. My fingers curl into the sheets, remembering how her small hand felt in mine that night in the hallway. So delicate, yet she held onto me with such strength, such determination.

A growl rumbles in my chest. Even now, I can taste her on my tongue—sweet, with an edge of fire that matches her spirit. The way she'd melted against me, soft and pliant, while her fingers traced burning paths across my chest...

If I'd stayed. If I'd given in.

The images flood unbidden: Eva sprawled across these sheets, her hair a dark halo, eyes bright with need. My wings would cage her, keep her safe while I mapped every inch of her skin with my hands, my mouth. She'd arch beneath me, gasp my name—not with the careful distance she maintains now, but with raw desire.

"Fuck." The word scrapes from my throat. My wings snap open, nearly spanning the width of the room. The cool air does nothing to calm the inferno in my blood.

I could go to her. Right now. Her room's just down the hall. I could finally surrender to this pull that's been dragging me toward her since the moment she walked into my life. Show her exactly how much I want her, how she's cracked through every defense I've built.

But Sera's ghost whispers in the darkness. Reminds me what happens when I let someone too close. When I fail to protect what's precious.

My wings curl forward, feathers trembling. Eva deserves better than a broken man who can't even face his own past. Better than someone who'd rather push her away than risk destroying her too.

Still, as sleep finally claims me, it's her face I see. Her smile. The way she makes everything brighter just by existing. And for the first time in years, the darkness feels a little less absolute.

I stand at my office window, watching them in the garden below. The morning sun bathes everything in gold, but my eyes fix on Eva. Her dark hair catches the light, spinning it into threads of copper and bronze. The sound of her laughter floats up, pure and bright, mingling with Annalise's.

My wings twitch, wanting to spread, to carry me down there. To be close enough to see the way her eyes crinkle at the corners when she smiles, to catch the subtle floral scent that always surrounds her.

Annalise gestures wildly, telling some story that has Eva clutching her sides. My daughter's wings flutter with excitement - so like her mother in that moment it makes my chest ache. But it's Eva's presence that draws me, the easy way she leans in, giving Annalise her full attention. No pretense, no careful distance.

Not like how she is with me now.

My fingers press against the glass. Eva reaches out, tucking a strand of Annalise's pale hair behind her ear. Such a simple gesture, but it pierces something in me. The tenderness there, the natural affection that I've never managed to show my own daughter.

The sunlight plays across Eva's face, highlighting the curve of her cheek, the soft bow of her lips. Those same lips that I'd claimed in the hallway, that had parted so sweetly under mine. Heat coils in my gut at the memory.

She throws her head back, laughing again, and the sound calls to something primitive in me. My wings snap open, casting shadows across the floor. I want to hear that laugh up close, want to be the one drawing it from her. Want to see if her joy tastes as sweet as her kiss.

The thought rocks me back a step. This wanting - it's dangerous. Reckless. But watching her now, so vibrantly alive, so fucking beautiful it hurts to look at her... I can't remember why I'm fighting this.

My wings ache with the need to go to her, to wrap her in their shelter and never let go. To be part of that easy happiness she shares with my daughter. To feel her warmth chase away the cold that's lived in my bones since Sera died.

A chill runs down my spine, my wings shuddering with the force of the realization. It's not just Eva's dark hair catching sunlight, or the curve of her smile that draws me. It's how she fills the hollow spaces I've carried for so long - spaces I didn't know existed until she walked into my life.

My nails scrape against the glass. Below, she reaches for Annalise again, this time to brush dirt from her cheek. The gesture strikes deep, unearthing something raw and vital. Eva moves through our lives like she's always belonged here, healing wounds I thought had scarred over.

My wings snap tight against my back. The weight of command, of duty, of all the fucking responsibilities that chain me to this office - it lifts when she's near. Not gone, but... bearable. Like she carries part of it without even trying.

A growl builds in my chest. Five nights ago, when I kissed her, something clicked into place. A missing piece I've been searching for since Sera died. No - before that. Since I was born into this legacy of power and control, taught to bury everything soft and warm beneath layers of ice.

Eva thaws that ice. Makes me want things I've denied myself for years. Not just her body, though that hunger burns constant. She makes me want to be the father Annalise deserves. Makes me imagine a future where laughter echoes through these halls again.

The thought should terrify me. Instead, it settles in my chest like an ember, warm and bright. Eva fits here, in this space between warrior and leader, between father and man. She belongs in ways that defy explanation, like she was carved from the same darkness that shapes me.

My forehead presses against the window. The glass fogs with each breath as I watch her below, so fucking alive it hurts. She's not trying to fix me or change me. She just... exists. And somehow that existence makes everything clearer, sharper, more real.

The revelation rocks through me like thunder. This isn't just want or need or desire. This is something deeper, more primal. Something that calls to the ancient magic in my blood, demanding I claim what's mine.

My wings unfurl against my will, responding to the sight of her below. Every instinct screams to swoop down, to wrap her in their golden expanse until nothing else exists but us. The primitive urge claws at my chest - to mark her, claim her, make her mine in ways that would leave no doubt.

But I remain frozen, watching through the glass as she tends to my daughter with a gentleness I've never mastered. My nails scrape against the windowsill, leaving deep grooves in the wood. The sound of her laughter drifts up again, and my body responds like it's been struck by lightning - muscles tensing, blood heating.

When did she become so essential? When did her presence start filling the hollow spaces I'd carved inside myself? Each smile she gives Annalise is another chain wrapped around my heart, binding me tighter. Every graceful movement of her hands speaks to the warrior in me, makes me want to conquer, to possess.

The darkness inside me, the part I've kept caged since Sera's death, rattles its bars. It recognizes something in Eva - a matching shadow, perhaps. Or maybe it's the way she faces my cold distance with unflinching warmth, how she meets my growls with gentle determination.

My forehead presses harder against the glass, wings trembling with the effort of staying still. She's worked her way under my skin, past all my carefully constructed walls. Slipped through the cracks I didn't know existed and made herself at home in the wreckage of who I used to be.

"Fuck." The word comes out more growl than speech. Because this isn't just desire anymore. This is something deeper, more dangerous. Something that makes my ancient blood sing with recognition.

Eva has claimed pieces of me I didn't know were still alive to be claimed. And the terrifying part isn't that she's done it—it's that I want to give her more. Want to lay every broken, sharp-edged part of myself at her feet and let her decide if I'm worth keeping.