Chapter Sixty-Four

LUNA

I half-carry, half walk Serafina to the living room, sitting her next to me so she can lean her head on my shoulder. She’s still shaking, silently crying hard enough to break the sky.

Serafina Orolio should never cry. Ever.

I hold her hand, but I don’t know what to say. A minute later, Mom sits on the coffee table with her knees pressing against mine.

“Tell her she’s okay.” Mom takes off Serafina’s shoes.

“You’re okay.” God, that’s so inadequate. “We’re here. It’s…” I am empty. I don’t have a word that’s going to fix this. I squeeze Serafina’s hands. “It shouldn’t have happened. No one should suffer like that. You knew it. You tried to stop it. You did everything you could.”

“It didn’t… stop.” She gets words out between gulped breaths. “No matter… what I… he… he…” The rest is lost in sobs.

“Mom.”

“Luna.” She rubs Serafina’s feet, saying my name as if she knows exactly what I’m thinking. “Do you know what your gifts are for?”

“It’s not a good time, Ma.”

“Don’t be stupid.” She pats Serafina’s leg while speaking to me. “It’s the best time.”

“You’re not serious,” I say. “This has to be some kind of Strega inside joke.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Serafina asks between sobs.

“Nothing,” I say.

“Luna can help with how you feel.”

“No, Ma!”

But Serafina’s head is off my shoulder. Her face and voice are full of hope. “Can you?”

“I can’t. I just make people crazy. “ I turn to my mother. “You know that better than anyone.”

“Those were choices. Now choose otherwise.”

“Mom, shut up!” I kick her foot. “Serafina, I just… all I know how to do is make a mess of a person. Maybe one day, when Carmine is fixed and we’re out of here, I’ll figure it out, but by then, you’ll have moved on.”

This is the wrong thing to say. My friend hardens right in my arms.

“I don’t want to move on. I want to feel better. I want to be able to walk outside.”

“If…” I stop myself. If she walks out of here, she takes the deal with her. The Luganos won’t do what they’ve been promised. That means no knife.

No. That’s not the reason. Carmine’s going to have to figure it out. I love him but he can’t get his wishes granted on Serafina’s back.

“I…” Deep breath. Tell the truth. “I want to. But I’m afraid to.”

“I can guide you,” Mom offers.

“Why don’t you do it then?” I sound biting, but all I want is for her to take this off my plate. I don’t want to kill Carmine or mess up Serafina.

“I can see energy.” Mom shrugs and leans back, hands on her knees. “That’s not what she needs.”

“So you’re offering guidance you don’t know how to give?”

“I’ve seen it done. I’ve read the instruction manual.”

“What if I hurt her?”

“Give yourself some credit.” My mother, who told me I was stupid twice for every one time she told me I was capable of better grades, is trying to shore up my confidence. She’s like a spider with a saddle, asking me if I want to take a ride into her web.

“Please, Luna.” Serafina grabs my hands. “Please. I know I’ve been acting normal, but I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s all I can think about. I want to remember him better than this.”

I look down at my lap. There’s nothing in it but my hands twined with Serafina’s. It seems as though we stay there for decades-long minutes, while the reasons I’m hesitating sit behind my teeth, waiting to be spoken.

“It’s him.” Her hands slip away. “You won’t do it because you want them to trade me. You want him to get his knife and live forever.”

“No. A person should never be traded.”

“Apparently, I’m not a person.”

“And,” my mother adds, just to prove some things will never change, “my daughter is a coward. Just a little.”

“Can you not?” I bark back.

“We’ll make a deal.” Serafina’s back is straight, and her eyes look lively again.

“You do whatever it is.” She drops her voice and eyeballs the corners for eavesdroppers.

“You try, okay? If it works or not, I stay here until Carmine goes into the labyrinth.” Serafina snaps her fingers.

“Then I walk right out. I might even talk to them on my own terms. They can shove their deal.”