Page 6

T he next day, I have quite the to-do list, courtesy of both school and my favorite Hunters :

· French placement exam

· Advisor meeting

· Buy textbooks

· Visit a psychic

On the way to breakfast, I see the boy who leaned forward when the ghost screamed. Evan Something. He’s wearing a football jersey draped over his jeans, and he walks ahead of me into the cafeteria .

“Hey,” Jax says, straightening up from the wall he’s been leaning against. I texted him this morning to see if he’d grab breakfast with me. I’ve been looking forward to seeing him since then, although I’m also all butterflies-and-nerves after last night’s scene .

“Hey,” I say distractedly, watching Evan go. I debate how to ask Evan if he might be psychic, without playing all my cards. Maybe I can work it into conversation and see how he reacts .

Jax’s eyes follow my gaze, and he tries to smile .

“Meet you by the windows?” I ask .

“Sounds like a plan .”

What I really want is a blueberry muffin—I am a big fan of carbs in the morning, and an even bigger fan of coffee—but I follow Evan to the omelet bar anyway .

“It’s a beautiful morning,” I say to his back .

He doesn’t hear me, so I take a step out of line, so he’ll see that I’m looking at him. He stares at me blankly .

“Hi,” I say .

“Hi.” He looks back at the ingredients of the omelet bar, little metal bowls full of chopped peppers, onions, mushrooms, ham, bacon and cheese. They don’t really merit his careful study .

He’s not friendly. That doesn’t mean anything. But it isn’t going to make it any easier to work psychics in to a casual conversation .

Oh, forget it. I’m going for it .

“I loved that movie last night. But I’m a bigger fan of reality TV. Do you ever watch Real World Psychic?” I ask him .

He looks at me, his eyes widening. For a second, panic flashes over his face, and then it’s gone . “ No .”

He turns his back on me again .

I glance around to see if we have privacy. A couple, arms twined around each other’s waists, joins the back of the line. The chef asks Evan what he wants on his omelet. I’m going to have to wait for my time to ask more questions .

I really, really need to find myself that medium .

I’ve got so many questions .

And it’s only when I sit down across from Jax, at a sun-drenched table by the windows, that I remember that he also has so many questions .

“So this is yesterday’s tomorrow,” he says mischievously, settling a cardboard coffee cup on my tray .

“Is that a latte?” I ask as I pick it up, taking the plastic top off. We used to volunteer at the animal shelter together, and he would almost always pick me up a latte on his way. I breathe in the warm, sugary scent of a caramel latte. Despite the awkward conversation I dread, when I take a sip, the drink warms my chest .

“It is. I figured you’d need caffeine .”

“I always need caffeine.” I slept restlessly last night, but then, I always do. I can’t blame my ghost pal for that. I wake up tangled in my sheets every morning, as if I was fighting in my dreams. “You still know me .”

He shifts in his chair. “It’s only been a year .”

“Right.” That’s hard to remember sometimes. High school should feel like yesterday, since I don’t have many memories of the past year. Instead, high school feels like it happened to someone else. Hmm. There’s a silver lining. I pick apart my muffin into crumbs .

He eats an entire plate of pancakes in silence before he ducks his head to hide an exasperated smile, then tucks his brown hair behind his ears. “ Oh , Ash .”

“I don’t know where to begin!” I protest .

“Anywhere! I’ll let you know if I can’t keep up .”

I’m not worried that he won’t be able to follow me. I’m worried he’ll realize I’m lying. ‘I was in a supernatural coma, imprisoned by a secretive company that wanted to use my sister and me to truck secrets back from the afterlife, like glorified bike messengers.’ Ellis already did a stint in a haunted insane asylum, I’m not going to try my luck getting sent to one too .

I take another sip of my latte. Jax’s eyebrows rise higher. When I’m afraid he’s going to push back from the table and leave, I say in a rush, “I was in a coma for the past year. I wasn’t dead .”

“You weren’t?” he asks, sarcasm in his voice. “So why did I go to your funeral, Ashley Landon ?”

“My mother didn’t believe our car accident was a, well, accident. She thought that someone was trying to kill me .”

“Why would anyone try to kill you ?”

“Fifteen seconds ago, you looked like you were ready to !”

“Seriously.” He looks distraught at the idea, raking his hand over his hair. A spike of guilt stabs through my chest. “Who would want to hurt you? Did they find him ?”

“Ellis didn’t remember anything from the accident and there were so many questions,” I say quickly, “but it was actually never a murder attempt. My mother was just…well, she was coming a little bit unhinged .”

When all else fails, blame your mom .

“So no one is trying to kill you ?”

I shake my head .

“Why the hell are you so jumpy all the time , then ?”

“I’m not jumpy .”

“If anyone comes up behind you, your dukes go up like you’re ready to kill someone.” He raises his fists, imitating me .

“Please don’t ever call them dukes again,” I say. “This is my life, not a John Wayne movie .”

“I’m just saying. You’re different .”

“You’re different too .”

“I haven’t changed at all .”

“Your shoulders are broader .”

He takes a long sip from his juice. When he sets it down, he says, “Really? You noticed ?”

“I noticed.” My tone comes out a bit flirtatious. I bite down on my lower lip, but I’m not sorry .

He rolls his eyes .

“And your hair changed .”

“Try again. It’s always been shaggy.” He runs his fingers through his strands, but they aren’t shaggy. His hair is thick and luxurious, chestnut brown and shiny. It ends just above his shoulders, but I think if I had shampoo-commercial-hair like he does, I’d grow it out even if I was a guy .

“It was shorter in high school,” I argue .

“Dad finally gave up. Don’t change the subject. You were just telling me a crazy story .”

“My life is a crazy story,” I agree, pretending he hasn’t just accused me of lying. “Braces came off .”

“My braces came off junior year .”

“I guess I didn’t notice then .”

“But you notice now?” His eyebrows rise .

“Yeah. I’m noticing now.” I shrug. “Guess I was self-involved in high school .”

His hazel eyes meet mine for a second, and then one corner of his mouth lifts. “Nah, you were just busy .”

“You’re sweet .”

“And you’re changing the subject .”

“I am. There’s nothing else to say. I don’t know what my mom was thinking, and I’m sorry she put you through all that. I just want to leave…dead Ashley… behind .”

Saying that makes me feel disloyal .

He’s quiet. He’s probably musing over this all and deciding I’m full of it. Then he says, “I’m sorry. It must be hard .”

I shake my head. It is hard, but I don’t know how to talk about that .

“How was my funeral?” I ask .

He groans. “Don’t even start .”

“I’m sorry I missed it .”

“It was beautiful. The girls’ acapella chorus sang The Blower’s Daughter .”

“They were practicing that months before I died !”

“Well, you gave them the chance to use it.” He glances out the window. “And I cried .”

Suddenly I can imagine him, with tears running down his face, trying to keep his face from twisting like it would when he was really upset as a kid. My stomach aches at the thought. God, I hurt him so badly, even though I didn’t mean to, and I can never explain it. Not truly .

“I would cry too, listening to Julia Belcher take the solo in that song. She did, didn’t she?” I shake my head. “She never even liked me .”

“You’re impossible .”

“I’m alive, though .”

“That you are.” His gaze meets mine. “And I don’t know about what happened last year, Ash. Even after all…that. But I’m glad you are .”

“Me too. I don’t intend to waste the chance .”

And strangely enough, it seems like a waste to spend this life on trying to be normal. It hits me hard just then, staring across the table at him .

It seems like a pretty good use of this life to kiss his lips, which are faintly pouty now, his gaze steady out the window as if he’s looking back into the past .

I just have to figure out how .