Page 27

L ate that afternoon, there’s a quick tap on my door. “I’ll be right there,” I call; Jax and I had just messaged back and forth about dinner with some of his bandmates. I grab my sweatshirt because the dining hall is chilly sometimes and head for the door .

When I swing it open, Professor Boyd and a campus security guard, a squat man in a gray uniform, stand at my door .

“Oh,” I say, fighting the urge to run. Which I do a lot. There’s a lot to run from in my life, let’s face it .

“Ashley, I’m so sorry.” Professor Boyd says. “We have to talk to you about Luke Chamberlain .”

“Would you be more comfortable if we talked here?” The security guard asks me. He holds out his badge. His first name is Mike. Not Michael. “Or down at the station ?”

The implied threat makes my lips twist, trying to hide a smile. He’s not the scariest thing I’ve seen today; he doesn’t even make the list after demons and Luke Chamberlain mad .

“Here is fine.” I open the door the rest of the way and prop the door open with the plastic wedge my roommate stole from one of the classrooms, then realize what I’ve just done. There’s a traffic sign posted above her bed that signals roundabout . I hear she didn’t come by those random traffic signs legally, either .

“Come on in. Take my chair. Take her chair. I’ll sit on the bed.” My roommate is out, at least. She’s almost always out. I sleep over at Jax’s a lot of nights, and she sleeps over at her older boyfriend’s apartment most nights .

I sit on the edge of my bed as they drag the chairs over the carpet to sit in front of me. I feel vulnerable in my room, even though it’s home turf. Here are the photos of the cross country team that I taped up on the wall, pretending that I’ve had a normal life. Here’s the hot pink and black Hello Kitty comforter that felt ironic when I picked it out, but now just seems childish. There’s my messy desk and inspirational messages, hand-written by Jax on sticky-notes, stuck up to the bookshelf above my laptop: you is kind and you is smart followed by but you had better fucking study, slacker .

For a long second, they look at me, and I look between them: the serious security guard, the kindly-faced-sad professor. I think of the negotiation rule that whoever speaks first, loses. Although when you’re a kid, you pretty much lose whether you negotiate or not. I might be in college but two authority figures staring me down on my Hello Kitty bedding make me feel like a kid again .

“How do you know Luke Chamberlain?” Mike asks me .

“We met a month or two ago, I guess .”

“A month or two ?”

“Freshman year has been a total blur.” I push my hair back out of my eyes with my fingers. I reach over to my desk for a banana clip to pull it back. “I barely know what month it is .”

“That must make it hard to keep up with your assignments,” Professor Boyd deadpans .

“Is Luke in any of your classes?” Mike asks me .

“No.” I shake my head .

“Same clubs ?”

“ No .”

“How did you meet , then ?”

God, I am not prepared to lie at this level. How would a good, normal girlfriend respond? “Is Luke hurt? Is he in some kind of trouble?” Put the banana clip down. Worried Girlfriend is not playing with her hair .

“He’s not hurt,” Mike says. “But we’re worried about him .”

“ Why ?”

“We’re trying to find him,” Professor Boyd says, “because I did some poking around. I was worried about the underground Greek scene, you know. And I found out he isn’t a student here at all .”

I stare at them blankly .

“You knew that?” Mike asks, as if my face has given me away .

God, I need to take an acting class .

“No,” I say. “He’s totally a student here. We met at the Beanery. Who would come on campus and pay $6 for a Beanery latte if they weren’t trapped here ?”

“Did Luke tell you he was a freshman too ?”

“Yes.” I frown. “Well, I guess I assumed. I mean, he didn’t say otherwise, and he was so excited about pledging …”

“Your boyfriend isn’t who he said he is,” Mike tells me .

“I’m sorry to give you such bad news,” Professor Boyd tells me, his voice kind. “But we have to get to the bottom of this. I’m worried about what kind of trouble Luke is running from .”

“Is Luke his real name ?”

“Yes. Lukas Chamberlain.” Professor Boyd offers me a handful of sheets of paper. I take them reluctantly. Four sheets, each with a mugshot on top, each Luke’s handsome face. In the first two, he looks weary, even scared. On the last one, he’s smirking into the camera, his head slightly tilted. Even in grayscale, his eyes are vivid, large, maybe even a little bit crazy. This is the guy who walked away earlier today, who I thought might lose his cool otherwise. The scary side of Luke .

“What is this?” The flat tone of my voice now isn’t for show .

“Luke’s been arrested four times,” Professor Boyd says .

“Well, more than four times. He’s been convicted for four,” Mike says .

“But what for? What did he do ?”

“Assault. Breaking and entering. Theft.” Mike tells me. “There are more juvenile records that have been sealed. It seems like Luke was part of a theft ring .”

“I met Luke,” Professor Boyd tells me. “He seemed like a nice guy. Right? You must think so too .”

“Yeah.” No, not at all. Luke’s a lot of things—good in a fight, tough, dedicated, dangerous—but nice has never made the list .

Boyd goes on. “I just didn’t get the criminal vibe from him. I think maybe he wanted to start over… his crimes were all on the west coast. Now here he is in the east, hanging around a college campus. I think he was trying to get a fresh start, as best he could .”

“He applied to school here,” Mike tells me, holding up a folder with Luke’s name penciled in on the outside. “But he had bad grades, a criminal record …”

“He was probably waiting for enough time to pass to get the rest of his juvenile record expunged. He needed five years from the date of his criminal activity .”

“But Luke’s eighteen… there was already stuff expunged? From when he was thirteen?” Assault? Breaking and entering? I think of finding Luke in my room, how I’d watched him open that locked door in fifteen seconds flat, the question of how he paid for that motel room .

“I don’t think Luke was a willing participant in this theft ring,” Professor Boyd says. “I think he’s hiding here .”

“These are bad guys,” Mike tells me. “The guys that Luke was tied to. Look, we just want to talk to him. And we just want you to be safe, Ashley. This guy is bad news .”

“Well, I don’t agree with that,” Professor Boyd says. “But then, it’s my job to see the good in eighteen-year-olds.” He smiles faintly .

“Ash,” Mike says. “I don’t know for sure that Luke is in danger. But I think he is. I think these guys that he’s on the run from are coming after him. You’d be doing him a favor by helping us find him .”

“I know no one wants to be a snitch, but you just might save his life. I know that comes at a cost. But if you care about Luke…” Professor Boyd trails off meaningfully, tilting his head toward me .

“This is a lot to process. You say my boyfriend isn’t who I think, he isn’t even a student, he has a criminal past…” The lies come smoothly, but I really am worried now that I’ve somehow misread Luke. But he can be a good guy and bad all at the same time, right ?

“I know. I’m sorry. But we need your help.” Professor Boyd’s eyes on mine are intent and concerned .

And my instincts tingle. I think he’s a liar .

I shake my head, letting my confusion show. “I don’t know. Maybe we could talk about this tomorrow …”

“Tomorrow might be too late for Luke.” Boyd presses urgently. “Where does he live ?”

“Um, I thought he lived in Stoddard. But I haven’t been to his dorm room .”

“He doesn’t live in Stoddard.” Mike leans forward. He waits, letting me marinate in the silence. I wait too .

When the silence stretches from uncomfortable into unbearable, Mike stands and walks around the room. He silently observes the traffic sign above my roommate’s desk. I watch Mike, because that helps me avoid Professor Boyd’s gaze. He is uncomfortably intent on me, and it’s bothering me more than the silence .

Mike turns back, his shoulders slumping in frustration. “We can’t help you or Luke if you won’t talk to us .”

I hesitate. “I don’t know where he is, honest. I can call you when we make plans …”

I promise to call them when I hear from Luke. It’s a huge relief to finally get these two out of my room .

But as I exhale when the door closes behind them, I know this isn’t the end. Doubts about Luke and Mave and Professor Boyd all crowd my mind .

When Jax knocks on my door, I try to shake it off. He notices that something is wrong, I can tell from his face. “There’s mac and cheese on the menu tonight .”

“I’ll try to get excited,” I tell him .

“You do that.” He loops his arm around my neck, pulling me in tight, affectionate and suffocating all at once .