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T he vampire drags itself across the floor toward me. Eyes shrunken in its cavernous skull are fixed on me. As it opens its mouth, exposing jagged, broken teeth, the rank smell of the dead washes over me .

It’s hard to believe this thing was human once .

“Watch out.” Jake’s voice is urgent with warning as he steps in front of me, his sword held low in his hands .

Suddenly the monster in front of me is gone, replaced by Jake’s broad shoulders and defined lats, working under his clinging black t-shirt. I jerk my gaze away. Jake belongs to my sister. He’s handsome, and ridiculously fit, and I shouldn’t notice any of that .

I forgot almost everything that I learned when I was lost in the afterlife, but I’m pretty sure of one thing: I’m not as good of a person as I should be. When I was plunked into the Far, the space between Heaven and Hell where souls choose their own adventure, I was not someone who would walk straight into Heaven .

Been there, didn’t get the halo .

“I’ve got this, Jake,” I say impatiently. My sister’s harem is protective. Brotherly. It’s almost unbearable. I have a sword in my hands, too, but the blade’s never touched a vamp. They never let me get close .

When the vamp leaps, Jake’s sword is a flash, then an ugly head flies past me. I take a quick step back. I’m not squeamish about killing, but I’m not interested in a Dodgeball game with a corpse either

“Ellis would kill me if you got hurt,” Jake says shortly, already wiping his blade with his handkerchief. He stuffs it into his pocket as he turns to face me. “Sorry, but I already put myself in the doghouse enough .”

“Maybe you should watch what you say to her .”

“Let’s not get too crazy,” he says. “She’s always liked me even though I’m a jerk. Or because I’m a jerk? It’s a mystery .”

“It’s an even-though ,” I promise him. It’s not that big a mystery. Jake is all tough on the outside, but every time he looks at my sister, his gooey marshmallow core is exposed. It’s obvious when his eyes light up as she walks into the room, or in the way he ducks his curly-haired head to her lips, listening intently, when she whispers. He’s madly in love. A few pithy asides and snarky one-liners do not camouflage the intensity of his affection for her nearly as much as he thinks it does .

I can’t imagine someone loving me like that. I’m so glad Ellis has found that kind of love—four times over—and yet sometimes, the way they look at each other makes me ache. I feel more lonely when I’m with them than I ever do alone .

“Clear,” Ellis shouts from the next room .

“Clear,” Jacob calls back, just before she sticks her head through the doorway .

Her eyes are bright, and her dark hair swings over her shoulder in a long braid. She looks quite happy and wholesome, for a girl with blood on her shirt and a sword in her hand .

“Not mine,” she says quickly, before Jake can comment, her fingers hovering over the red spot soaking through her shirt . “ Vamp .”

“And now we all stink.” Ryker comes in behind her. He slides his sword into the sheath on his back. The movement pulls his t-shirt up from his jeans, revealing a two-inch swath of chiseled abs. I look toward Jacob instead. “I told you to let it run .”

These guys already feel like brothers, in most ways, but it’s hard not to look. They look like a bunch of gods, if the gods were fond of tattoos, t-shirts and leather jackets .

Ellis shrugs. “And I didn’t listen .”

There’s no apology in her tone. Ryker shoots her a fierce look, as if he’s on the verge of scolding her. Then one corner of his mouth quirks up. His smile gives him away. He’s proud of her .

“Oh, how nice that they let you kill stuff,” I say to Ellis. “I don’t know why I even come along. I might as well just hang out with Olivia in the car .”

“I’ve seen you fight,” Levi says, as he and Nim join us. “You’ve got skills .”

“Tell that to them,” I mutter. But Levi’s words are jarring in their own way. He remembers seeing me in the Far. I forgot everything that happened in the year I spent with my soul sundered from my body. The sense that I’m forgetting something important nags at me constantly, as if I’ve left something undone .

“She’s still building up strength,” Ryker argues, taking up Jacob’s fight for him. It’s true that when I was in the Far, my body was here in a hospital bed. I’m not sure if I still have any of those skills that Levi just mentioned .

But I’m not going to find out, apparently, if the Kerr/Alexander boys have anything to say about it .

“What do you say we get out of the vamp nest?” Nim asks lightly. “We can argue over pancakes. I saw a diner on our way here .”

“We’re not going to get pancakes while we’re all blood-splattered and stinking of the undead,” Ryker says. “You really don’t know how to human, do you , Nim ?”

“I know how to human,” Nim tells him. “My version just doesn’t involve having any fucks to give. Especially not when I want pancakes .”

“Heathens,” Ryker says, as if he’s any better. He wraps an arm around Ellis’ waist, careless of the blood, and his lips graze her cheek. She turns her face into his, and they share a sweet, gentle kiss. In the midst of this gore-splattered room. Because they’re all heathens .

I don’t belong here, with them. I’ve been trying, and Lord knows they’ve been trying to include me. But all of a sudden reality hits me, tightening my chest, making my stomach drop like I’m on a descending elevator .

Ellis wants me here, and because she does, her guys want me here too. They’ve been surrounding me with warmth and friendship. But I’m in the way .

I’m a fucking sixth wheel .

I’ve got to get out of here .

But first, I really could go for some pancakes .