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Hakon sat alone in the shared living space of the cabin, the mead he had been drowning in long since emptied down his throat. Before him, the central hearth burned low with the dying embers of the fire that had fed and warmed their group that night.

Everyone else had gone to sleep hours ago, leaving him to stew in silence that seemed thunderous after an evening of high spirits had been shared amongst his friends.

Herrick and Maude had been joined at the hip all night as they spoke with Aeric, their laughter and shared stories of adventure entertaining everyone around the hearth.

Mead and ale had flowed through all of their cups as Gunnar and Liv then started taking turns telling over animated stories about Herrick to the Shadow King.

At one point, Maude had laughed so hard that mead had sprayed out of her nose which then forced everyone else to roar with amusement in turn.

Bryn also shared stories of Maude from her youth with them all, much to Aeric's delight despite the Heir of Shadow's mortification.

Indeed, all of them passed the Midsommar's Eve night under the influence of the heightened solar energy and the alcohol that eliminated any remaining barriers between them.

The only other person who had seemed as distant from the merriment as him was the Elven healer who had excused herself from the room first. Hakon had stopped paying attention to the room when she had departed, taking his interest with her.

Sitting against the same wall he had plopped down in front of as soon as he had woken that day, Hakon watched the moon arc through the black sky through the cracks in the beams that made up their roof.

The chaos of the camps around them still raged on, though they had to be into the early morning hours already.

For a moment, he envied them—their easy laughter and carefree existence. Once, he thought he'd had both of those things, but then Eydis had been cut down in that god's forsaken cave in Ljosa.

Ice used to fill him when he thought of his elvindr , the sharp stake of grief in his chest chilling his very blood when he thought he saw her pale hair on someone else or the same caramel eyes that matched his hair.

Not for the first time, Hakon thought about running the sharp edge of his blade over his head so he could shear the locks from his being. His vanity stayed his hand.

If he had charcoal to color his hair the way Maude had when she was in hiding…

His eyes rested on the dying embers again, their dull glow ebbing like the currents of the ocean deep below the surface. Before he even realized what he was doing, his hand was reaching into the hearth as he searched for the right piece to smother the constant reminder of Eydis from his body.

As soon as his fingers wrapped around a small piece, the heat burning through his skin, a shadow detached from the wall near the entrance to the sleeping quarters and rushed toward him.

"What in Odin's name are you doing?" his brother almost shouted, struggling to keep his voice a low whisper.

Herrick snatched his hand back from the embers, the burning piece of charcoal that he had been holding tumbling to the ground with a soft click .

Pain throbbed from Hakon's fingers, their tips singed black from the burnt wood.

He registered slowly that he was actually able to feel the pain for once— was able to feel something other than the isolating numbness— before his galder healed the burn away.

"What has gotten into you?" Herrick asked as he ushered him to a cushion furthest away from the hearth.

"I don't know what you mean," Hakon said quietly. "I'm fine."

"You're as fine as I am," his brother said as he deflated onto the cushion next to him .

They sat peacefully for a handful of seconds, the time slipping away slowly as their usual ease finally settled between them. The type of comfortable quiet that only a sibling could provide.

"I don't know how to exist anymore," he finally offered.

He kept his head down as a way to avoid Herrick's penetrating stare, but his brother never lifted his own head to face him.

"I don't know where I fit. Growing up, I was happy to conform to the life that had been planned for me.

I was eager to learn and be the Heir of Rivers.

But the more of the world I saw, the more I snuck out of Veter with you…

the more I recognized that the manners and fine clothes, the parties and meetings I was supposed to learn from, weren't a structure that raised me. They were chains."

His voice cracked on the last word. He never thought he would say this to his brother, to his best friend who had seen him through the very best and worst parts of his life.

Herrick stiffened at his side, and for a moment, Hakon worried he might have chosen the wrong word.

But he could not describe it any other way.

"As time went on, the bonds grew tighter and tighter until they were choking the life out of me," he continued. "Eydis was what broke me free from those restrictions. She freed me from myself. And when she died, she took me with her in every way that matters."

The dying embers crackled a few times before Hakon continued, his relief at speaking the truth about what had been eating away at him irresistible .

"Then to find out our family stole the throne in Veter by drafting a treaty that helped no one but themselves," he chuckled harshly.

"It felt like the gods had finally heard my prayers and released me from my guilt of running from my title.

Except, rather than feel relief, I was furious.

Our legacy is one of greed. It makes me sick to know I was groomed to inherit that history, to become complicit in it, but I am more sick over the fact that now I will never get my chance of freedom with Eydis.

I don't know which is worse: my anger at my elvindr for dying or my anger at our ancestors. "

He paused.

"It seems as though no matter which way I turn, I am doomed to drown in guilt or shame. "

Silence stretched between them again as Hakon's words settled into the air between them.

Just when he thought that Herrick wouldn't respond, that he would spew harsh truths at him about their family and their responsibility to their fates, he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder.

When he turned, though his brother did not face him, Hakon could see similar pain radiating from Herrick's golden eyes, unshed tears brimming on the edge of falling onto his cheeks.

"For whatever part I have played in making you feel like you had no path forward but the one laid out for you, I am sorry.

I…" Herrick trailed off as he pulled his hand away.

"There is nothing I can say that will make you feel better about Eydis or the anger that controls you about her death.

Only you can decide where you go from here.

But know that I will support whichever path you choose for yourself. As long as you choose it."

Hakon's thoughts scattered into an intangible mess of feeling as suddenly as the strength keeping him upright failed. He seemed to collapse under the relief that crashed through him, his bones easing from a tension he had not known was there.

Head hanging behind him, Hakon took a deep breath for what felt like the first time in months.

He had been drowning, the air in his lungs water that pulled him deeper into his grief.

He could feel his lungs fully expand, could feel his heart beating in his chest, the pace rapid and painful as he resurfaced from within himself.

"Thank you," Hakon breathed, his head swimming from all the mead he'd drank that day.

"You shouldn't have to thank me," Herrick grumbled, his body bowing forward as his hands sunk into his hair.

"I'm supposed to support you, not only as a General but as your brother.

I've spent too long following my fate blindly, urging everyone else to do the same, when lately all I can ask is why the gods put us through all this Hel. "

Hakon remained silent as his brother worked through wherever he was going with this.

"It was time I was as strong as you and Maude," he finally whispered, his eyes locking onto the shadowed doorframe that led to where she was sleeping. "Thank you for helping me see that. "

"Don't miss out on this time with her," Hakon replied as the last remnants of his acidic feelings for Maude drifted away with the smoke from the dying fire.

"I've been horrible to her when she has been as much a victim of fate as all of us.

I needed someone to blame. I doubt we'll ever be friends as we were before but what you have with her? It's rare."

Herrick seemed to stiffen a bit. "You haven't lost her either. She's been giving you space to heal."

"Well, I have been drunk most of the last few weeks. It wasn't until tonight that I even started to feel anything but the icy numbness that settled in me the moment Eydis took her last breath," Hakon breathed.

Just when Herrick was going to speak again, someone entered the living space from the sleeping quarters. Hakon faced them, expecting Maude, but found the Elven healer instead. Dahlia.

The clean scent of eucalyptus and chamomile permeated the stale air, clearing Hakon's mind of the haze the alcohol had put him in.

"Oh," Dahlia whispered as she sucked in a shocked breath, her violet eyes widening slightly. "I did not realize anyone was awake. I just needed some fresh air."

Hakon took in her slim form shrouded by the loose tunic and pants she wore, the way she kept her shoulders back and her chin high.

Her black hair was liquid night, the moon shining on it until it moved like the softest of satin in the breeze.

With high cheekbones and a slender face, Dahlia was more angular than human women.

It made her seem more foreign but all the more alluring simultaneously.