Page 58
"He helped me? Is that what he told you?
" Herrick replied, his voice so low that he only knew the Elven heard him because of their enhanced senses.
"Leaving me to hang by my wrists for days while he burned me was helping me?
Ordering his soldiers to rip the air from my lungs until I passed out just to revive me and do it all over again was helping me?
Demanding information he knew I didn't have was helping me? "
"General," Dahlia started to say, but he cut her off.
"No. Whatever information he has passed to you, whatever he did to help get me out, does not erase everything else he did," Herrick whispered.
Behind him, he could feel Maude hovering closer but never coming close enough to touch.
She didn't know the full extent of what he remembered from his time in Logi.
"He clamped this on my neck and proceeded to try and strip everything that I was away," he went on. "I don't care if he is a double agent or a spy or whatever you want to call him. Tell me how any of that makes up for what he did to me?"
The silence of the room was deafening, but the look on Gunnar and Maude's faces were enough to level him.
He collapsed into his chair, the world seeming to tip on the edge of whatever was going to be said next.
Would it make him feel better? Or would it finally destroy the last of his strength even as it waned a little more every day?
"There is nothing that will fix what you have gone through, General," Dahlia finally uttered into the painfully silent room. "He was only doing his duty."
There were only two other times in his life when he was struck silent like this. The first time was when his mother caught him in a lie when he skipped his duties to go sailing. The second time was when he had seen Maude enter Hakon's Betrothal Ball in that devastating dress.
This time, it was because of the sudden clear understanding of what Maude and Hakon had been fighting against all this time.
For weeks and months, he struggled to understand why the two most important people in his life rebelled against their fate and their duty.
He could never fathom why they fought against it so hard when his entire being had been molded to his duty.
His every interest, his every decision-making process, was in the name of his duty.
His rigid way of living, of looking at the world, had stemmed from his responsibility.
When Maude had crashed into his life and upended everything he knew, he had struggled when his closest friend had told him to go with it.
But he understood now that Gunnar had been trying to save him.
Because duty for the sake of duty was poisonous.
At his side, Maude crouched and cradled the side of his face, turning it so he was forced to look at her. When all he could see was a sparkling green so dark it reminded him of the moss that grew in the Lamenting Woods, Herrick finally focused on what was right in front of him.
"Listen to me, beast," Maude said, her words sounding like she was speaking underwater. "No one is asking you to forgive the prick. While he should have handled things differently, he did what he had to do."
Herrick started to pull away, but her grip only tightened until both of her hands cupped his face.
"Take your fate into your own hands," she ordered.
His fatemark pulsed on his chest as she spoke.
"Baldr helped us free you. For that alone, I am grateful.
But he didn't know about the rest of it— the horrible things that Helvig and Vilde were doing.
He was doing what he needed to do to survive— just like the rest of us.
That doesn't mean he won't feel our rage when the time comes. "
Gods damn this woman and her ability to make him listen to her.
"So be angry," she whispered, her lips tilting up in the corners as she repeated what she said to him on the ship. "Feel your rage. We can take it."
Finally, finally , Herrick's mind seemed to clear as he really looked at his eldr now.
"Welcome to the side of the disillusioned," Maude said as she smirked. "You're going to hate it."
Across from him, Bryn chuckled dryly. The rest of the room thawed as Maude talked Herrick back into his right mind.
"What you went through is not something that can ever be taken back," she whispered when their friends averted their eyes so they could have a private moment. "No one is asking you to forget. Baldr will answer for what he did to you in the name of duty ."
She rolled her eyes when she said the word duty , forcing a half smile to form on his numb face .
"Believe me, I plan on having some words with the bastard myself," Maude chuckled before growing serious again.
"But all of us here will not go a day without fighting to avenge what was done to you under Helvig's orders.
And it starts with getting that iron off your throat as soon as possible.
Even if I have to pry it off until my fingers are bloody. "
Herrick, still unable to form words, leaned forward and kissed Maude thoroughly before laying his forehead against hers.
"Thank you, minn eldr ," he whispered.
"For what?"
"For being so gods damned blood thirsty all the time."
Her laughter rang out, bright and easy, clearing the shadows from the room and his heart faster than anything else could.
"There is only one place we can get the answers we need," Aeric announced when Herrick leaned back in his chair while Maude went to stand behind him, her hand still grasped in his. "For both the removal of the iron from Herrick's throat and about which path toward ending Helvig would be the best."
He knew she would rather be pacing like the Helcat that lived within her skin, but he couldn't find it in himself to let her go just yet. Not when his tentative grasp on the truth of who Baldr was still threatened to rile him.
"Your Majesty, do you think it wise to seek her out so soon? Payment is steep when one travels to the holy land," Dahlia said, clearing her throat.
"It's the only way we can get answers," the Shadow King said, his low voice final. "Besides, Hildr is always complaining about wanting more visitors."
A rare smile spread across Aeric's face as Dahlia huffed a laugh, shaking her head slightly and rolling her eyes.
Bryn, who had been stiff since the news about Vilde was shared, seemed to shake her shock from her bones before lifting her head to look at Dahlia and asking, "The holy land? Where is that?"
"It's north of Nida, just off the northern coast of Ahland," Aeric answered her, his eyes flicking to Maude .
The anger on her face had dissipated slightly as her curiosity won her over, though her eyes remained wary.
Maude did not have the greatest relationship with their gods— to visit the holy land, whose existence was only a story that Herrick grew up listening to, would not be high on her list of desired places to travel.
"We will travel to Hilgafell to see the Grand Soothsayer," Aeric finished.
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