Page 14

But the courage to speak those words evaporated as Bryn let out a loud laugh at something Liv was saying, the sound hearty and deep like she felt joy in her very soul.

She observed the pair and how easily their friendship had developed during her stasis.

Maude was glad that even if Bryn didn't want to be as close as they had once been, she had someone to lighten her troubles.

Forcing her attention to return to the iron arrows in her hands, Maude tried to plan Herrick's rescue.

The sun arced through the blue sky as the hours passed. Maude took no notice of those around her, their movements and actions taking a backseat to the plan she was focusing on. Eventually, she laid down her arrows and stretched out on the bench beneath her.

The longship was the largest vessel she had ever been aboard: it had a large deck that could fit three adults laying head to toe across with three mainsails that towered over them.

The sides of the ship had holes for the oars to settle in when they needed them but also allowed for them to be withdrawn when sailing on the rough ocean.

The lower deck was the same length and width as the top deck, just hollowed out for a rough, shared sleeping quarter.

The bench she currently occupied lay across the narrowest width at the bow and was long enough to allow Maude to fully stretch her tall form as she stared into the darkening sky.

It had taken her longer than it should've to realize that at her head, Hakon had also stretched out on his back, his booted feet propped up on the side of the boat.

The comfortable silence that could only extend between friends hovered around them— remnants of the friendship they had started to build before Dagsbrun.

Only the sound of the rushing water and wind in the sails tickled Maude's ears until Hakon's deep voice vibrated the wood beneath her.

"So what did you come up with?" he asked, his tone deceptively neutral.

"Absolutely nothing," Maude huffed, closing her eyes.

For a moment, there was only the rocking of the ship.

"Why are you going after him?" Hakon asked quietly.

Maude paused for a moment. She knew what he was asking.

Why was she going after Herrick when she had left them all behind in Dagsbrun? The tension between them grew the longer she took to answer. She suspected that her answer would mean a great deal to Hakon.

"Why do you think I am?"

"Guilt," he responded quickly.

"That's not the whole truth," Maude responded, her voice tight."You know that."

Hakon didn't respond, so Maude continued, "I understand why you are so suspicious of me. After everything that Helvig revealed, after everything he said about me…"

The rolling waves trickled around them, the occasional splash misting salt water onto her face.

"We were friends, I think," she said quietly.

"And now you feel as though you can't trust me.

I wouldn't trust me either. But Hakon, as selfish as I was for leaving you all in Dagsbrun, I never lied to you.

I didn't tell you who I was because that wasn't me anymore, but that doesn't mean I should've hidden it, either.

Everything Helvig said about training me to retrieve the dagger for him was just as much a shock to me.

I was a weapon, born and raised for my father to wield.

I am the monster that he created. But I never wanted to be that monster to you or Herrick. "

The silence grew between them, but Maude knew Hakon had heard everything she said because he was still rigid on the bench they shared.

Maude finally opened her eyes to find that night had fallen, the stars twinkling brightly above her around the nearly new moon.

They were running out of time to save Herrick, and the thought made her throat swell shut with panic.

Just when Maude was about to give up on Hakon responding, he spoke.

"You never answered the question."

Sighing, Maude only offered him the truth. "You know why."

She sat up, swinging her legs over until her boots softly thudded on the deck.

She faced the stern of the ship where one of the Elven— Yuri was his name— steered the boat through the night toward Logi.

Hakon shifted beside her until he faced the opposite direction, his profile in her periphery.

His caramel hair was wind-tousled, the ends curling slightly in the moist air.

"I don't forgive you," he finally said, but Maude heard what he hadn't tacked on at the end.

Yet .

Maude gave him a sly smile, "I don't remember asking for forgiveness."

A chuckle escaped from Hakon, the sound surprising and sharp. Maude placed a tentative hand on his shoulder.

"We'll get him back," she said, her voice offering none of the panic she felt. "Sigurd will help us, and we'll get him out of Helvig's hands. "

Hakon stiffened at her touch and rose, shaking her hand off his shoulder before walking away from her. One conversation wasn't going to fix their friendship— she knew that— but she had hoped. Perhaps they could never be friends again.

It had only been a few weeks since they had all been in Ljosa, laughing around a fire while exchanging insults, and yet it couldn't be further away from where they were now.

Maude had finally become part of something she didn't understand: a family, one that loved and joked just as much as they argued and fought with each other.

She had friends— Liv, who had matched her ferocity in training and devotion while also being her reality check; Gunnar, who had been kind and supportive when she wanted to withdraw into herself; Eydis, who had been her first friend amongst strangers when she encouraged her to be brave in the face of love.

Sharp, acidic pain tore through her chest as she thought of the fair haired woman who had radiated kindness and love while her sly humor tore down Maude's walls with ease.

A hole in her very being radiated that sorrow and she wasn't sure it would ever heal.

Eydis was innocent in this fight, following them had been borne from a desperation to protect her brothers she'd left in Engate.

It was enough to send Maude into a grief filled spiral she would happily drown in.

But she had to focus on Herrick, on freeing him.

She shook off what Hakon's rejection did to her and stood before walking past Liv and Bryn's sleeping forms toward Yuri.

The Elven inclined his head as she passed him.

She ignored the gesture. She was not Elven royalty, even if her birth father was the Shadow King and she could haphazardly wield shadows.

She would need to deal with these discoveries eventually, but until Herrick was safely within her reach, Maude would think of nothing else.

She stared back toward the north, the pull in her gut telling her that she was heading in the right direction.

For most of her life, Maude had run from that gut feeling.

When she felt it for Herrick, she ran. Now, she followed it into the desert as she headed to rescue the only man who had made her feel alive.

He was her fate, and it was time for her to find out why.

Hakon ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

The gods damned woman had managed to make him laugh; something he thought would be impossible after Eydis.

She had left him with a promise to save his brother and the unsettling feeling of trust in her words.

She had lied to them about who she was, but even he could not deny that Maude had been surprised that day in Logi.

And then he had watched as she threw herself in front of a blade for her sister.

Reluctant respect had flooded him for the sacrifice she had made, and that drove Hakon further into his hatred because it was the exact thing he should have done for Herrick.

And when the time had come, he had carried Gunnar over the wall and allowed his brother to go willingly into the hands of their enemies.

Hakon had watched helplessly as Herrick fought off the Flame Soldiers on their trail, all so they would have a chance to get Gunnar some help.

And Herrick had done that with grief heavy in his heart after Maude had died in his arms.

Hakon still couldn't quite wrap his head around the moment they arrived in Nida when the Shadow King brought them to Maude's sleeping form.

They had all watched her die, with Herrick screaming over her dead body in a way that he knew would haunt him for the rest of his days.

And still, all Hakon could feel was outrage for the woman.

She had caused so much chaos and strife in their lives since she entered it, and now she was free while Herrick was in a cell somewhere below the palace in Logi.

Everything that Hakon felt about Maude warred within him: the irritation at her deception, the betrayal at her abandonment, the respect for her choices, and bitterness for her ability to make the hard decisions he struggled with.

He tried to find a way to make her the villain she seemed intent on pretending to be but could not find the reasons to justify them.

She was infuriating and relentless, but she had also been thoughtful and caring, especially toward Eydis.

Hakon hung his head in his hands as he leaned over the railing, the cooler air on the water doing nothing for the rise in his emotions.

Maude had been right— they were friends, and that was why he felt this all so deeply.

And while she had been checking in on Gunnar at the Midnight Palace, Hakon had been drinking himself into a stupor every night rather than dealing with how his life was falling apart.

He knew that if Herrick had been with him, he would have kicked his ass all the way to the training yard and beat the Hel out of him for acting so foolishly.

Needing to do anything other than wallow, Hakon pulled forth the navigational charts the Elven had brought for their journey.

He tracked their position based on the moon's movements before jotting down some numbers with charcoal.

At the rate they were sailing, they would arrive in Engate by early morning and— with any luck— to Sigurd's house after nightfall.

Their escape would have to be quick, so the Elven crew would have to sail the longboat to Logi and wait for them nearby.

The hope was that the city patrols would be centrally focused due to the coronation.

Hakon thought of his brother, the easy smile he had for everyone, and how he could ease most tension by cracking a well-timed joke.

He had not been so long apart from his brother before, and he itched to reunite with him.

They were the best of friends— they always had been— and now Herrick was suffering.

They needed to free him before the damage was irreparable.

He needed to save his little brother while there was still enough of him to rescue.