Page 26

“Sorry I’m late,” says a breathless Baby on my doorstep. I pull him inside and as soon as the door is shut, I press him up against it and kiss him because I just can’t seem to get enough of him. He pulls back, his chest still heaving.

“I had to wait until Lisa had gone, and then I ran all the way here.”

“I’d still have been here.” I smile at him and he releases a breath, his panting subsiding.

His cheeks are flushed and his lips are parted and glistening from the kiss I just gave him.

I run a hand down his cheek. “I didn’t know what I was waiting for until you showed up in my life,” I say softly, and see him drop his eyes like he’s not worthy.

“Hey,” I admonish gently, and take his chin in my hand, forcing him to look back up at me. “None of that now. You never have to look away from me. ”

I want to profess more to him, but I don’t know what those feelings are.

I don’t have a word for them, and I know this can never be a long-term relationship.

He’ll finish his holiday, and at the end of the season I move on—that’s life, that’s how it has to be.

But I’m not going to let those thoughts ruin this night.

After another long kiss I walk over to the bed and he follows me. I rummage around under my pillow and find the lace knickers.

“You forgot these.” I hold them out to him and his eyes widen slightly.

“I can’t take them back to my cabin. What if my mum sees them? I doubt my sister will cover me, she already suspects something’s going on. I don’t know what she’ll make of me having them.”

“Will you wear them for me?” I ask.

“Now?” he asks and I nod. He captures his bottom lip between his teeth, the way he does when he’s thinking. I watch him, because it’s the cutest look.

“Then what?” He has a cheeky glint in his eye so I step close to him, fold his hands round the knickers, and brush my lips against his ear.

“Dance dirty with me.”

By the time I’ve put on a record—“Be My Baby”—and turned around, he’s there, wearing nothing but the pale-pink lace knickers, and he’s every bit as beautiful as I imagined.

Breathtakingly so, with his slim body and perfectly round arse, his skin, soft like swans’ feathers, and his pretty face that captured me the first time I saw him.

I pull my T-shirt over my head and close the few strides between us. I almost hesitate to touch him.

“You’re beautiful. You’re perfect,” I utter huskily.

I place one hand on his hip and with the other I direct his arm around my neck, moving closer so we’re pressing close.

I sway and he moves with me. I catch him round the waist, holding him close as we sway in time to the music.

The skin-on-skin touch as we gyrate in unison is electric, and the air almost fizzles between us.

He bends back away from me and I lick up his chest as he rises back up, capturing his lips and kissing him as we dance.

I run my hands down his back and over his tight backside, and the contrast of his smooth skin and the lace feels divine.

He presses closer, and I offer my leg for some friction.

His head thrown back—with slightly parted lips and heavy-lidded eyes—as he grinds against my thigh is more than I can stand.

I pull him towards the bed and sit down on the edge of it so my face is level with his groin.

I pull down the knickers, freeing his cock before sucking it into my mouth. He gasps and his hips thrust forward.

“Fuck it, that’s good.”

I bob my head a couple of times, but then he pulls away and I look up at him, slightly annoyed that he disturbed my pleasure.

“Not yet,” he says, and pushes me backwards on the bed.

“Take these off.” He gestures to my jeans.

“And tell me where the vaseline is.” I point to the dresser and he reaches for the pot and a condom.

I shuffle back so I’m lying properly on the bed, and I wonder what he has in mind.

He sits across my thighs and wraps a hand round my dick, running it up and down until I’m groaning.

I give myself over to his touch until I’m almost going to come, then he stops and I growl at him.

He laughs a little and picks up the condom.

He opens it and attempts to put it on me, but he fumbles a little, so I put my hands over his and show him how to do it.

Then he coats my cock in vaseline and I understand his plan.

“It’s going to hurt you,” I whisper, and I grab his hips, pulling him up so he’s sitting on my chest. “Now come here and let me taste you while I get you ready.”

He kneels over me and leans forward until I can reach his dick.

I want to carry on sucking him off, which he interrupted earlier.

I reach for the pot, and lubing up my fingers carefully, I reach for his hole and insert one.

I prep him slowly at the same time as my lips are flowing up and down his length.

The tiny moans he makes—as if he can’t decide which he wants to do more, thrust forward into my mouth or plunge himself back onto my fingers—are my new favourite sounds, and I think I’m going to come myself just from hearing his pleasure.

My mouth wins, and he almost buckles in half as he comes down my throat.

I swallow everything he has to give and withdraw my fingers before he sits back.

“Wow, I um... no, can’t speak... I can barely see,” he laughs, and I gently stroke his thighs as he catches his breath.

When he looks down at me again I see a look full of bliss and adoration.

He leans down and presses his lips to mine with a touch like gossamer, and whispers, “I love you, Johnny.” It’s so faint I think I must be imagining it.

I’m sure I am because no one has ever said those words to me, and they aren’t likely to start now.

He then gives me the widest grin and crawls backwards until he’s hovering over my cock.

I grab his hip with one hand and help him line up.

He sinks down slowly, breathing deeply and stopping as he tries to accommodate me.

When he’s fully seated he gives a satisfied sigh, taking a moment before he starts moving.

I grip his hips and help as he slides up and down.

He’s so tight, and it’s perfect as he rides my cock like he’s been doing it all his life, so I know I’m not going to last for long.

He glides smoothly on my dick like it was made for him, all the time keeping up an intense gaze I can’t look away from.

I know I told Penny I had this under control, but I don’t think I have anymore.

I could be seriously falling for this amazing man, but then I’ve known that for a while.

I shove those impossible thoughts away and let the sensation of his perfect arse gripping my cock take over.

He grips my hands where they rest on his hips, digging his nails in as he arches his back, his breath coming in short bursts.

“I’m gonna come, sweetheart,” I groan, as he sinks down one more time.

I meet him by thrusting upwards, orgasming hard as he comes over me again.

I pull him down onto my chest, holding us together until our breathing returns to normal.

I have my arms wrapped round him and all I can hear is the thudding of my heart, beating out its own rhythm—our song.

Once I’ve cleaned us up, I lie down on my bed, sated, and for once in my life, content... happy even. Baby crawls into my side and I put an arm around him.

“Do you ever think there’ll be a world where we can be normal?” he asks.

“Normal?”

“You know, where we could walk down the street hand in hand, together? ”

“I doubt it,” I scoff. “I barely get treated equally as a person as it is. I can’t see it happening for two blokes anytime soon.

” I think back to the way Max and the management staff treat me and those like me in contrast to the college kids.

It’s been like that all my life. The breaks only happen for those with money and connections.

“Maybe for the privileged few being gay is tolerated or ignored, but that certainly isn’t the case for us working class folk. ”

I feel him sigh against me. He’s such a dreamer and an optimist. He’s going to get hurt, have his dreams and ideals shattered one day, but I don’t want to be the one to do that for him.

“You’re going to university soon. Perhaps you’ll become one of those types of people. You know, you become a lawyer, then maybe a judge. A supreme court judge with lots of power. You could do anything you wanted then. No one would dare say anything about you.”

I feel his breath ripple across my chest as he giggles.

“I don’t think I’d be like that.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” I glance down at him, all the teasing gone out of my voice. “You’d probably want to change the world for everyone.”

He grins at me. I can believe he’d do that as well.

“What about you, Johnny boy? What are you going to do?”

“Whatever work I can find,” I answer with a sigh.

“Not good enough.” He gives me a poke in the ribs. “Don’t you have any dreams?”

“I used to, but they came to nothing.”

“Tell me about them. ”

I huff a laugh that’s only half filled with humour. “I wanted to work in the West End, choreographing shows and musicals and dancing in them.”

“You’d be brilliant at it, so why don’t you?”

“It’s not that simple. Either I don’t have an education or I don’t know the right people. Even getting into the dance troupe is hard when you’re not one of them .”

“Well, it’s their loss, but you should try again. We can be whatever we want to be.”

“No we can’t, that’s just it. Why can’t you see that?” I snap at him. “What’s the point of having big dreams? All they lead to is disappointment.”

“They don’t have to,” he tries to reason.

“Oh, be realistic, Baby. Life isn’t like that.

” I emphasise his nickname to show how naive his outlook is.

“It can never be like that.” I pull away from him and clamber off the bed, angry with the world and myself for letting it get to me and for taking it out on him.

I glance back at him. Hurt lines his face and he presses his lips into a thin line.

I walk over to the record player and put on some soft music.

“I know that, of course. I’m not naive.” His voice is quiet but resolute. I walk back over to the bed where he’s lying on his back, the sheet draped across his hips. “But if we give up trying, if we give up hope, what is there worth living for?”

His eyes flick to mine, and they seem to shine with a lifetime of knowledge. I know our time together is limited, though, and I don’t want to spend it fighting.

“You, you’re worth living for,” I say, climbing back onto the bed. I cover his body with mine and kiss him until nothing else exists except us in that brief moment of happiness .

I say goodbye to him with the first light of dawn, lingering on the porch steps for a last kiss. I watch until he’s out of sight, and when I turn to go back inside I see Vivianne Pressman on the path leading from Robbie’s cabin. She’s looking straight at me.