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Mealtimes are still awkward. My father’s still barely speaking to me so I spend less time with my family.

I also try to avoid Nicola, though she’s discovered that the best time to corner me is just as we’re finishing breakfast or dinner, when I can’t refuse her in front of my family without giving myself away.

Whenever I can, though, I seek out Penny, Billy, and of course Johnny.

When he’s at work, I stay in his cabin, reading while I wait for him.

If he has a split shift and has free time in the afternoon we usually spend it in bed.

I’m getting good at sneaking out after my family have all gone to sleep.

We usually dance in the staff room for a while before we go back to his cabin, and sometimes, if we wake up early, we’ll go for a walk on the beach.

If we walk far enough, there’s usually no one around and we can walk hand in hand.

I savour those moments, the sun already risen but not too hot, a day full of promise.

It feels at that moment that life could be the same, that we have a future.

I know it can’t happen, but just for those moments I like to pretend and not dwell on the fact that in a few days I’ll go back home and pack my things for university, and Johnny will move on to whatever he’s got lined up next.

After an early morning walk, we’re heading back and about to part for breakfast when I see my dad walking up ahead with Robbie and Lisa. He has his arm thrown round Robbie’s shoulders. They start along a path that doubles back towards us, so I pull Johnny back behind a cabin and out of sight.

“What was that you said about standing up for what you believe in?” he whisper-shouts, and I ignore him, watching until they’re out of sight.

“I don’t see you telling your dad and your family about who you really are.” He continues talking, walking away for a couple of steps and turning back.

“It’s difficult. My dad’s complicated. I don’t know how they’ll take it,” I say quietly.

“What about taking chances, whatever the consequences?” he says right into my face, but I turn my head away. “You’re just like the rest of them,” he says before storming off.

I stare after his retreating back. He’s right, I am avoiding telling my family, but it doesn’t make me feel better. I just feel like I’ve let him down.