Page 14

I’m starting to dream about the dance routine and I’m pretty sure I could do it in my sleep.

Dancing it in front of an audience is a different matter, though, and I try not to let those thoughts crowd into my head as I make my way to the studio.

We only have a couple of days left until the show, and although we practiced the lifts in the sea yesterday, we still have to try them for real.

I half run along the path. I’m late, as it’s been getting harder to get away from my family. Another lie about joining a treasure hunt did the trick this time, which narrowly got me out of joining them for tennis.

Of course, dreaming about dancing has kept Johnny firmly in my mind, and the thought of being near him again is another reason that spurs me on.

I’m excited to see him, to be in his arms even for a little while, so by the time I stumble through the door to the dance studio, I’m breathless and already sweating.

Two startled faces look up at me. Penny’s presence instantly brings me crashing back to earth that this isn’t about me dancing with Johnny and being near him.

This is about me doing a favour for Penny. I take a deep breath to steady myself.

“Sorry.” I grimace. “I thought I might have had to spend the morning making up a double for tennis.”

Penny laughs and comes over to me. She takes my hands and pulls me into the middle of the room. “Johnny says you’re doing well with the routine but we thought it was time to teach you a few flourishes to dance more like a woman.”

Oh! My cheeks burn. I’d been so caught up in enjoying the dancing I’d forgotten that aspect of it—that I was supposed to be passing as Penny. Now I feel like a fool.

“Don’t worry.” Penny smiles encouragingly at my embarrassment. “You’ll be fine.”

She releases my hands and walks over to the chairs, then comes back with a bundle of soft looking material. When she holds it up I see it’s a skirt.

“Here, put this on,” she says.

I gulp. She wants me to wear it?

“I can’t wear that,” I blurt out and she presses her lips together.

“You’re supposed to be me. What did you think you were going to wear?”

She has a point and I take it off her, then I turn my back on them both as I slip it on over my shorts.

I smooth it down with my hands. It’s made up of layers of a chiffon material, something very much like my sister would wear.

I look up and catch sight of myself in the mirror.

It looks odd to me; I don’t look like myself.

It’s like I’ve become someone different.

I twist a little from side to side, watching the skirt billow and swish.

It’s not unpleasant, but it does feel odd.

“Very fetching.” I catch sight of Johnny’s smirk in the mirror and a chill runs through my veins. Clearly he thinks I look ridiculous in it, and I’m embarrassed he thinks that way.

“Johnny,” Penny growls, and I hear him utter a sorry, but it’s too late. Any joy I had of seeing him again today, or the tiny dream I harbour—the one in which he might like me too—is extinguished.

“Let’s just get this done,” I grind out. I’m not giving up on Penny, but now she’s the only reason keeping me from walking out the door.

We start dancing, and at first it feels stiff and forced, but Penny’s behind me, one hand on my hip and the other on my back.

She adds encouragement and a few corrections, and eventually I begin to relax.

She calls a break and I go to grab a glass of water.

I see Penny talking with Johnny and then he walks over to me.

“I’m sorry for what I said. I wasn’t making fun of you.”

“Did Penny make you come over and say that?” I ask bitterly, and the look on his face tells me the truth. “Forget it,” I say, turning away from him, but he catches my arm and swivels me back to face him.

“I mean it. I’m sorry.” He looks down at the skirt and back at my face. A deep, unfathomable look crosses his face and my heart beats a little faster.

“Have you never seen a bloke in a dress before?” I squeak, trying to sound casual.

“None that look like you.” His voice is low and husky, but before I can try to work out what he means he drops my arm and walks back to the centre of the room.

“Let’s go through it again,” he says, still with a hint of huskiness in his voice.

We dance through the routine a couple more times and I only manage the lift on one of them, but Johnny tells me not to worry, that it’ll be different on the night.

“I think you’re ready for these,” announces Penny, and I see her holding out a pair of shoes—ladies shoes, silver strappy things with heels. Heels! I can feel the blood drain from my face as I feel lightheaded. Why didn’t I realise there’d be shoes as well?

“Um, I think I might break my ankle trying to dance in those,” I say with a grimace.

“Just try them.” Penny smiles encouragingly, and I sit on one of the chairs and take off my gym shoes.

The sandals don’t feel too bad until I try to stand up.

I’m no longer in contact with the floor; I’m suspended over it on a tiny platform.

Or at least, that’s what it feels like. I wobble for a couple of steps and Penny grabs my hand.

“It’s easy for you,” I mutter. “You’ve had years of practice. I don’t think I can do this.” I turn to Johnny, who’s been watching me wobble about. “This is not happening. I’m going to fall on you. I declare that I’m an accident waiting to happen.”

He comes forward and takes both my hands. “Walk in them for a while.” After his comment about the skirt his voice is soft and kindly, and when he walks backwards, I follow. It still feels unnatural, but after a couple of circuits of the room I feel more sure-footed.

“Do you want to try to dance, just the basic steps?” he asks .

We don’t do too badly—well, I don’t. Johnny is foot perfect as always, but I feel I could improve so I ask that we try it again, and again.

By the end of the afternoon I feel much more secure.

I didn’t manage all the turns, and only learnt a basic lift, but we still have a day to practice.

It’s a relief to step back into my gym shoes afterwards, and I ignore the ache in my feet as I walk back to my cabin.

“Lisa, I need you to do something for me,” I say two days later.

She looks up from the magazine she’s reading. Since winning the swimwear heat of the beauty competition yesterday she’s been insufferable.

“I don’t have to do anything for you. You’ve spent the last week hiding, you’re up to something. What is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

She gives me her best big sister look, but it doesn’t work on me anymore like it did when I was ten.

“I’ll tell you after, but not tonight. I just need you to tell Mum and Dad that I’m not feeling well and I’m not hungry. I’ve gone to bed but they don’t need to check on me.”

“What are you really up to?” She tries again.

“Lisa, please?” Now it sounds like a whine. Lisa settles back in her chair with a small sly smile, like getting me to wheedle like I did as a child when she wouldn’t tell me secrets was some sort of victory .

“They won’t be interested anyway.” She gives a flick of her hair. “It’s Robbie’s night off so he’s spending the evening with us.”

“I thought that was over.” He’d lost interest after she hadn’t welcomed his advances, but I’m also dismayed she’s forgiven him.

“It seems becoming Miss Swimwear has its advantages.” She turns her attention back to the magazine.

I really need to talk to her about Robbie, but not tonight.

I quickly make my way through the guest cabins and into the staff quarters to Penny’s place.

The last practice yesterday went very well.

I managed to dance the whole routine several times in heels and didn’t fall once.

I’m not elegant, but hopefully it will do.

“How does that feel?” Penny asks, standing back and looking at me as she helps me dress for the show.

“Honestly, I feel like a dressed turkey waiting for the oven. How on earth do you wear all this stuff?”

“You get used to it,” Penny laughs. “And it feels nice to get dressed up for a change.

“I’ll take your word for it.” It feels strange to me. I look down at the coral dress I’m wearing. Its full flouncy skirt ends just below my knees and feels unfamiliar against my legs.

“I don’t seem to have much here.” I press my hands against my chest.

“Well, neither do I.” Penny chuckles but she gathers in the material to cover that up. You’ll need these as well.” She holds up a pair of tights and I try not to groan. There’s something I ought to bring up first before I put them on.

“Do you know what does feel odd?” I say nervously, and Penny tilts her head waiting for me to continue.

“In this dress, it feels somehow wrong to wear my underpants.” I’m not sure she’ll understand, but although my briefs are pretty tight they feel incongruous, wrong somehow. She looks thoughtful for a minute and then crosses the room and opens a drawer. She comes back with a pair of lace knickers.

“Try these.” She holds them out. “Don’t worry, they’re new. Never been worn.”

I take them off her and hold them up. They look a bit like my briefs, but obviously without space for my junk and in a soft-pink lace.

I’ve come this far, I might as well try them.

Penny turns away and goes to her dressing table, keeping her back to me.

I whip off my briefs and pull on the lace knickers.

Strangely they feel better than I’d expected and my junk feels more contained.

I pick up the tights and join Penny.

“Thanks, that feels better now. Can you tell me how on earth I’m supposed to get these on?” I say, holding up the tights, and Penny grins.

As Penny applies the finishing touches to my makeup, I stare at the person in the mirror who looks nothing like me. I’m wearing a blonde wig for a start, and makeup and a dress. Penny must see my expression in the mirror because she smiles reassuringly.

“You look great.”

I don’t feel it, and as I stand, my feet in the silver sandals, I feel uncertain about it all .

“What if I forget everything?” I whisper.

“Let Johnny lead you. Just follow him and everything will be fine.”

“Okay, okay.” I say it more to reassure myself than to agree with her. I start to recite the steps under my breath to try and calm the nervous bubbling in my stomach.

“Baby?” Penny’s voice cuts through my muttering and I look at her, seeing the bleak look in her eyes. “I’m scared.”

It’s the first time I’ve heard her crack since the night I found her sobbing in the kitchen.

“I’m sure it’ll be alright,” I say and she steps forward, hugging me tightly.

“Thank you for doing this for me. I’m truly grateful,” she says as she releases me. I smile at her, too nervous to speak but pleased I can at least try to help.