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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Tara

IT’S BEEN TWO days.

He hasn’t come for me. He hasn’t called either. I was so certain when I left that Sean didn’t care about me. Didn’t want me. But a small part of me still held on to the hope that I had been wrong. That he would realize his mistake and come to me.

I shouldn’t have hoped. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to imagine. It only makes the pain worse.

Jeremy has been here for me every step of the way. We’ve been staying at the firehouse, letting me sleep on a spare cot in the back bunkhouse. I could have stayed with my parent’s but with their long hours at the restaurant, I would have been alone at times. Something I was desperately trying to avoid. I’ve had enough being alone and lonely lately.

I am visiting them today. In fact, I’m almost to the restaurant. I need their comfort, even if I don’t share with them the full truth of who Sean is.

They only know the highly edited version of Sean that I had shared. I was truthful about the one-night stand resulting in a baby, I lied about Sean’s reaction to the news and said he was over-joyed, and as far as work goes, Sean is a business man who owns several restaurants, bars and clubs.

The host at the door greets me with a smile then leads me to the back of the restaurant. My parents both smile brightly and stand to hug me when I get close.

Mom pulls back and pinches my cheeks lightly. “You’re looking tired sweetie? Are you getting enough sleep?”

I laugh and hug my mom again. “I’m good mama. Promise. I’m getting at least seven hours a night.”

“You should be getting eight.” She scolds playfully. Then she turns her attention to my large belly. “Hi little one. Grammy can’t wait to meet you. You be good for your momma.” She says she as she rubs my belly lightly and places a kiss on it.

Dad takes her elbow and pulls her gently away from me, then guides her into her seat. Ever the gentleman. When he turns to me, to hold my chair out, I let him, and he gives my bump a little rub as I sit. He’s not nearly as over the top affectionate as mom, but I know he still cares with the little gestures like that. “Is it work? Not too stressful is it?” He asks.

I smile at him as I take a seat to his right. “Everything is good at work dad.” I reply as I pat his hand. “I don’t miss being in the lab nearly as much as I thought I would. The remote work I’ve been doing is still interesting. And I still have a front row seat to medical innovations.” Our waiter approaches to take our drink and food order.

Once he leaves I turn my attention to my parent’s not quite ready to dive into the mess that is my love life. “How’s the restaurant doing? Try any new recipes this week?” I ask.

My mother loves to bake. Cakes, pies, and especially bread. Her soda bread is famous in their small corner of Indianapolis.

“Things are good. I tried to make a rhubarb and brandy pie recipe.” Admits mom while dad grimaces. I can’t help but to laugh.

“I take it by dad’s face that it didn’t turn out too well.”

Mom joins in the laugh. “Gosh no. It was horrible. Not even sure why we tasted it, you could tell by the smell when I took it out of the oven that it was a fail.”

“Smells can be deceiving.” Pipes Dad.

“Not with this one. I think I’ll be staying away from Rhubarb for a while.” Adds mom.

It’s quiet for a moment while we eat before dad speaks again. “The Garrison’s had a fire a few days back.”

“What?” The Garrison’s own the liquor store three doors down from my parent’s restaurant. My parents have been close friends with them for years. Decades I think. “How bad was it?”

“A total loss. Fire department arrived in minutes, though there was nothing they could do except try to prevent the flames from spreading. Neighboring buildings suffered smoke and water damage, but nothing major.”

“I wonder why Jeremy didn’t tell me?” And I wonder how I didn’t notice when I drove past it on the way here.

Dad must sense my rising panic because be grips my hand and gives it a good squeeze. “I’m sure it just slipped his mind. You know how it is with him, he doesn’t like to take the job home with him. No one was injured and the Garrisons should be able to start rebuilding soon.”

The air I was holding quickly rushes out of me. My shoulders losing their tension. “Good. Good. I should stop by and say hi to them while I’m in town.”

“I’m sure they’d love to hear from you dear.” Adds mom.

“Do they know what caused the fire?” I ask.

Mom and dad share a look. One I know means I won’t like the answer they are going to give. “Yes. It was arson.”

“Did they find out who did it?”

“Tadgh is looking into it.” My dad answers.

“Tadgh? Why is Tadgh…” The rest of my question hangs. I don’t need to finish. As soon as I started the question, I knew the answer. Tadgh was the boss of the Indianapolis Irish Mob. How had I forgotten about Tadhg? I’ve known him and his wife for years. They are so normal, so sweet, maybe that’s why it’s easy to forget that they run part of the criminal underworld here.

With Sean coming into my life, how could I have forgotten about Tadhg? Do they know each other? Are their organizations somehow linked?

My parents and the Garrison’s both pay for Tadhg’s protection against the gangs.

Admittedly, my parents haven’t had any trouble since they entered into the deal with Tadgh, and it’s been years.

Around the time I was in middle school, it seemed like the restaurant was being robbed every week. One of our cooks was even beaten and left for dead in a back alley after unknowingly walking in on a drug deal. That all stopped once protection was in place. Now Tadgh’s soldiers discreetly patrol the streets and often eat at the shop.

Honestly, I can’t complain about it, even though I hate that my parents feel indebted to the mob. Not that I have room to judge now, considering the baby in my belly. The price my parents pay is less than what they were losing before, and the only person who eats for free is Tadgh and his wife, Aoife. His men are even polite to the staff, and good tippers.

I’ve wondered in recent years if my parents have even become friends with Tadgh and Aoife. They always seem to be at the restaurant eating when I visit. I suppose there are worse criminals to befriend out there. Tadgh at least has morals and lines he doesn’t cross. The same lines Sean says he has.

I’ve seen firsthand how Tadhg doesn’t condone the mistreatment of women and children. He once dragged a man out of the restaurant after witnessing him slap his wife for their son spilling his drink on the table. Obviously the kid did it on accident. The man was just a dick.

The man also received one hell of a beating. While Tadgh took care of the husband, Aoife sat with the woman for the remainder of their meal, talked and laughed with the kids, payed the bill, and then took her home to pack their bags. I heard they got her a new apartment and paid a year’s rent in advance while she went through her divorce and got back on her feet.

“Tadgh thinks it was a couple of teenagers messing around. If it was an accident they won’t get anything more than a stern reprimand. Probably force them to do some community service too.”

I nod. It’s the only answer I can give. My mind is too busy thinking about Sean and how he would react. I’ve never seen him in action, and though I’ve witnessed the blood, I know in my heart that whosoever it was deserved everything they got.

“So…” My mom says in an effort to change the subject. “How are things with Sean?” She looks uncertain about asking. Does she already know, or can she guess that we are having problems?

“Um…honestly. Not good.” I pause. Wondering what and how much I should tell them. “We needed a little break from each other.”

“Oh sweetheart.” My eyes start to tear up at the name. Sean always calls me sweetheart. “Did you have a fight?”

“Do I need to go kick his ass? Did he hurt you?” Asks my dad. He looks ready to jump to his feet.

I quickly grab one of his hands. “No dad. He didn’t hurt me. Not physically. I’m emotionally a little battered, but I’m okay. Sean and I don’t communicate the best. I know I told you before, but this is Sean’s first serious relationship, and he’s super busy with work right now, and mixing that with my trust issues from Joey, it’s come to a bit of a head and I needed to take a step back.”

Mom nods along looking thoughtful. When I finish, she’s up and out of her chair to wrap her arms around me. I needed it. I needed her hug.

“Do you need me to talk to him? Set him straight?” Dad wonders, as he too joins me for a hug.

“No. We’ll figure things out, and if not, it wasn’t meant to be, and we can be cordial for our little one while we figure out custody.”

Mom pushes a few strands of stray hair from my face. “I’m sure things will just take time. Don’t give up yet. Your father and I have hit a few rough patches through the years, but we made it through. We’ve seen the way the two of you look at each other, whether you’ve admitted it to yourselves or not. You two love each other, you just need to trust in the love, and trust in your partner.”

She’s right. I do love Sean. In my heart I know I trust him. I just hate that he hides so much of his life from me. I feel like he hasn’t truly let me into his heart, into his life, when there’s a whole side of him I never see. Not that I want to be down in the basement while he beats people up, but I can be there to talk before and after. Be the emotional support I’m sure he feels he’s too tough to need.

We switch back to light topics for the rest of my visit. I promise to visit them again before I head home. I’m not sure when that will be, but I know it needs to be soon.

Back at the firehouse, Jeremy keeps my mind off of Sean by having me help wash the truck, and when that is over, he had me join him with the rest of the guys on shift for a game of poker. They don’t bet real money, they just divvy up plastic chips and the person who loses first has to cook that night.

Sadly, we didn’t get to finish our game before a call came in. By now, I know the drill. This isn’t my first rodeo hanging out at the firehouse.

The alarm sounded and everyone ran to answer the call. They dropped everything they were doing, no matter if it was in the middle of eating, or taking out the trash. They drop it and run for their gear. I hang back, making sure I’m not in the way, then go about cleaning up the food and drinks, knowing they most likely won’t be back for a while.

There is a scanner that is on that gives some updates.

Apparently it was a large fire. There are several stations reporting to it.

I send a silent prayer that no one gets hurt.

I’m done cleaning the kitchen, and go to grab the abandoned bag of garbage when the door opens. It’s Tadhg.

He doesn’t look surprised to see me. “Tadhg. Hi. What are you doing here?” I greet him much the way I always have. He’s an intimidating man, but he’s always been sweet with me.

“I came to see you darling. Seems your husband has been looking for you.” He replies as he takes a few steps further into the room.

“He has?” I ask in surprise. “Why hasn’t he called?”

Tadhg laughs. “Because men are stupid.” He gestures for me to sit on one of the chairs, while he takes the other. “Sean’s worried you’re afraid of him. He doesn’t want to cause you and the baby any more distress than he already has. But since you ran away from your bodyguards, and he’s still fighting a war, he asked that I keep an eye out on you here.”

Sean thinks I’m afraid of him? “I’m not afraid of Sean.” I argue.

Tadhg looks momentarily surprised. “You’re not? Sean said you ran away from him after you saw what he was capable of.”

I can’t help but to laugh. I laugh so hard I snort. “I didn’t run away from him. I ran to the garbage.” I rub my belly to exaggerate my point. “The baby hormones have been making me really sensitive to smells. I could smell the blood from across the room, and it made me puke. When I got done heaving my guts out, I went to find him, but he was gone. Then no one would tell me where he was, what he was doing, or if he was even alright. I still don’t even know if he was injured, or if any of the blood was his.”

Tadhg starts laughing along with me. “What a dumbass.”

Smiling, “I agree.”

“So that’s why you left?”

“In part. It was lonely in the apartment, and I don’t do well with being alone. I tend to get lost in my thoughts. I needed a break from Sean, from the mafia world. But I also knew I needed to be safe, that Sean’s world is dangerous.”

“That’s why you called Jeremy.” He comments.

“Yes. I needed my friend. I needed home.”

Tadhg scoots his chair closer to me. He pulls one of my hands from my lap and gives it a squeeze. “And do you need Sean.” He pauses for a moment. “Do you want to make things work with him? If not, you say the word and I will banish him from my territory. I’ll make it so he can’t get to you here.”

I don’t have to think about it long, I had known the answer since after Jeremy asked me in the car if I loved him, and again after speaking with my parents. The old doubts and insecurities keep popping up. With time it’s getting easier to ignore them.

“I need Sean. I love Sean. I just don’t know how to be with Sean.” I admit.

“Good. Then I won’t banish him, yet.” He says with a wink. Then his eyes move above my head. A shiver runs over my skin. He’s here. I don’t know how I know it’s him, but I do.

I turn around slowly as Tadhg releases my hand.

In the doorway to the hall, holding the largest bouquet of roses I have ever seen, is Sean. My Sean.

He quickly crosses the room and places the flower on the table beside me. He offers me his hand. I take it, and he pulls me to my feet. His hands then move to my cheeks, cupping them gently and using his hold to tilt my head up so I am looking at his face. From a distance he looked the same, but up close I can see the dark circles under his eyes. He even looks like he’s lost some weight in recent weeks. “I love you too.”

I immediately begin to sob, and do my best to throw my arms around him, but my belly gets in the way. Bending down so I can reach him better, and wrap my arms around his neck, he finally gives me his lips.

I’ve missed him. Missed this. Missed us.

“I’m not afraid of you.” I tell him as soon as our lips part. “It was the smell.”

Sean laughs, then strokes my belly and our baby fondly. “I know sweetheart, I was listening from the hallway.”

“What would you have done if I said I didn’t want you. That I want Tadhg to banish you.”

With a tinkle of mischief in his eyes, Sean says, “If for a moment I believed you truly didn’t want me, I would have walked away. I would have made sure you and our baby were set for life. I would have let you go. Since I know better. And I know you want me, even if he banished me, I would have still come. He would have had to drag me to his basement to keep me away.”

“Good thing I answered honestly then.”

“Will you let me take you home now? I promise, you won’t be alone anymore. I’ve already talked to Killian, he’s promoting Rian and Oscar to enforcer level. They are going to be taking over primary duty in the basement. Zack and Jake are going to be reassigned as you guards.”

“Are Oscar and Rian in trouble? Please don’t be mad at them. They didn’t know what I was planning.”

He gives me a kiss to stop my rambling. “Oscar already paid the price.” He must see the flash of anger in my eyes. Even though I’m made at Oscar and Rian for not telling me anything about Sean, I know they were just following orders. Stupid orders, but still, I can appreciate their loyalty. “I didn’t kill him. Calllum wouldn’t let me. He has a broken nose and a black eye. It’s the least he deserved for not paying closer attention to you.”

I can accept that.

“Can we have dinner with my parent’s and Jeremy before we head back to Chicago?”

“Of course, sweetheart.”

“Aiofe and I shall join you.” Chimes in Tadhg. I jump a bit at the sound of his voice. I was so focused on Sean, I forgot he was still here.

“Perfect.” Sean and I say together.