Page 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Sean

WE NEVER MADE it to dinner last night. After we got in the car Tara surprised me by kissing up my neck. Whispering about needing a pickle. I thought it was her pregnancy cravings, so I had Oscar drive us home instead, while I ordered Chinese food for delivery.

When we got home I found out it wasn’t jarred pickles she wanted. It was the pickle in my pants. I didn’t understand at first. Who the hell calls a dick a pickle? But the way she sucked and licked it down her throat, I almost believe she thought it was a pickle. I was just glad she didn’t try to bite it.

Today is our do-over date. I told her I had somewhere special to take her. This time she didn’t panic about not having anything to wear. Today she complained she had too many items to choose from and couldn’t make up her mind. So I kissed her until her panic vanished, then grabbed the first green dress I saw. The color nearly matched her eyes, which is why I chose it.

In the car Tara wasn’t nervous until she saw us heading out of the city. “I thought we were going to dinner?”

Our hands entwined on my thigh, so I lifted them up and kissed the back of her hand. “We are.”

“Where is there a restaurant out here?” She asks as she begins looking out the window, presumably for a clue or sign of a restaurant.

“There isn’t one.” She turns her head back to me. Confusion written all over her face. I can’t help but to give another little laugh. “We’re going to my parent’s house.”

“We’re what?” She screeches. “I can’t meet your parents?”

“Why not?” I ask.

“It’s too early. We barely know each other.”

“Sweetheart.” I say, struggling not to laugh. “We’re already married. I think it’s fine to meet them now.”

“Oh my god.” She looks down at our hands. Lightly pulling hers free. I let it go. Not wanting to, but knowing she needs me to. Her fingers glaze over the diamond. “It doesn’t feel real.” She whispers, almost to herself.

I pull into my parent’s driveway, park, and turn as best I can to face her. I slide my hands up her arms, and cup her cheeks. “It’s real sweetheart. I know we started unconventionally, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real. We’re just doing things ass backwards.”

A little of the tension leaves her body. Then all of a sudden she snorts and explodes into laughter. It’s infectious and I join her without knowing what made her laugh so hard.

She wipes the few tears she had from laughing so hard. “We did it completely backward. First baby, then marriage, then meet the parents. Once you take me on an actual date, we’ll have the complete set.” She giggles again when she reaches the end.

“Ready to go in?” I ask.

“Yeah.” She says with a big smile.

Once out of the car, I step around to her side, and hold her hand as we walk to the door. Just before start up the steps, she pulls me to a stop. “If I’m meeting your parent’s tonight, do you think we could video call my parents tomorrow?”

Stunned. I have to blink a few times before I can answer. “Yeah, sweetheart, I’d love to meet you parents.”

“Good.” Her smile gets a little brighter still.

I’m not sure what I was expecting of my parents when they met Tara, but at no point did I imagine that they would latch on to her and completely abandon me.

Literally, we got in the door, they hugged her, welcomed her to the family, then dragged her deeper into the house.

Meanwhile, I’m still standing at the front door, not having taken off my coat yet.

Knowing she’s in good hands with my folks, I take my time going to them. When I do, I find all three of them crowded around the kitchen island. I keep my distance for a few minutes. Leaning against the door jam, I watch.

How could I think I didn’t want this?

Why did I fight this?

Tara is amazing. I know our relationship isn’t perfect, and we are imbalanced. I hold all the power and all the knowledge. I have an entire file on her to tell me her likes and dislikes, her history. It’s been easy to fall for her, know as much as I do.

I wonder if she’s falling for me?

Could she ever learn to love me?

Because of me, her life has been thrown to shambles. I’ve offered assistance in every way to make improvements, but even that may not be enough. She can never go back to the life she once lived.

And what happens when they day comes and the mafia side of my life intrudes into hers? Despite the many safeguards I put in place, nothing is guaranteed.

What if she has to witness me getting blood on my hands? Will she ever be able to see me as she does now? If it happens after I’ve gotten her to fall in love, will it ruin that love?

I’m pulled out of my brooding by my mother when she announces dinner is ready. I try to find the smile I had in the car. For a moment I felt lighter. I felt like I could have it all.

I shouldn’t have let my mind wander. It went down a dark hole of what-ifs.

Thankfully, no one sees is the wiser of my dark mood. Years of stuffing down emotions, perfecting the aloof business man mask I wear most days, helping to keep the mood light for Tara.

“Thank you Sean.” Tara says once we are in the car and headed back to the city. “Your parents are wonderful. I really like them.”

I’m glad she had a good time. “They like you too sweetheart. I knew we had nothing to worry about.”

Nothing except for the dark doubts that have begun to invade my mind.