Page 7

7

Barren

W hen I returned to my room, Laverne was still snoring. I eased the door shut and took a breath, using the end of my workout tank to dab at my forehead. The fitness center had been empty, and I was thankful for every moment alone. Being around others was a change I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to. I’d hoped a workout would help clear my head, but the fitness room was ill-equipped, and I’d barely worked up a sweat.

What I wouldn’t give for a pull down machine and some free weights, I thought, thinking of my equipment back home . But driving to a gym wasn’t an option. Not while Claira was here.

My shirt was dry, but I pulled it off and bagged it up with the rest of my laundry. A sharp snore tore through the room, and I shook my head as I checked on my phone.

No calls, no messages. When I placed it back on the counter, my chest felt lighter.

I still had time.

While gathering fresh clothes, I shuffled through my rolls of socks and paused over the leather brace folded neatly at the bottom of my luggage. My jaw set as I scanned over the perfect round of stingray leather, overcome with the need to put it on.

The impulse won, and I pulled it out and placed the stiff leather against my shoulder, taking a deep breath as I lined it up. The tension in my muscles eased before I even had the strap around me. I threaded the buckle next, tightening it into place over my chest.

Under the firm weight pressing down on me, I finally felt whole. The shoulder brace looked foolish paired with sweatpants, but I didn’t care. I’d been exposing painful memories for too long. Memories that were better off strapped up and hidden.

I moved to the dresser, carefully checking my new brace’s placement in the mirror, watching my muscles swell around the leather as I bent and flexed them.

Adjusting a brace was second nature to me by now. I made a point of overlooking the jagged dips and scars that covered half of my chest while I worked. It was easier to hide a weakness from others when you stopped looking at it yourself. I didn’t need a reminder of what might have been.

The leather was thicker than my last brace, hewn from a larger ray, stiff and far from molding to the grooves of my shoulder. But with my previous brace lost to the Atlantic, this would have to do.

I flexed again, curving my spine to the left, then the right, until I was certain the strap would hold in place. Not bad. It would break into shape faster in salt water than on land, but I would survive the sores until it did.

The adrenaline from my workout drained away as I stood there, allowing memories of Claira’s soft hums and rolls of laughter to seep into my mind like a delicious nectar. The ones she’d made after following Leander into the bathroom.

My teeth gnashed as my fingers worked, tightening my brace’s strap until my lungs pinched and my shoulder burned.

There was a time, not long ago, when I would have given her up for Leander’s sake. Stayed silent as he and Claira and Kai worked things out.

Now, I could barely keep my mind from trying to work out how to make my voice call to her like hers did to me—even when she was an entire room away, wrapped up in the arms of another merman.

I’d stood in front of the bathroom with lead feet, tortured by the smile I could hear in her voice from the other side of the door. Both of them were laughing, recklessly carefree. Like we hadn’t just been dragged through the jaws of the Undersea, chewed up and spat back out.

Huffing, I scrubbed a hand over my face and squared my shoulders up with the mirror. I leaned in, staring down my reflection, waiting for my jaw to loosen enough to test out a smile.

I finally managed a simple, awkward smile, and it only took a second for my lips to fall.

“ Alhey ,” I cursed, slipping into my native tongue. What had I expected?

Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was.

When I turned my back on the mirror, Laverne’s sleepy stare was waiting for me. Lost in thought as I was, I hadn’t even registered that her snoring had stopped.

Her eyes darted around as her head lifted from the center of my bed. “Ren?”

Then her eyes widened, and I lifted my hand out to calm her like I’d seen Kai do countless times before. “Laverne, wait?—”

“Where’s Big Brother?” She dived from the bed in a quick swoop, her tail and flippers slapping against the carpet. Her neck whipped, taking in her surroundings, the panic in her eyes growing. When she realized where she was, her eyes narrowed on me. “Where did he go!”

The hand move wasn’t working, so I switched tactics, giving her soft clicks with my tongue in the way one did to keep a frightened barracuda from striking.

She took obvious offense to that.

“How DARE you?” Her hiss was so scathing, it burned a path as it rattled around my head. “Tell me where he is! Why did you take me away from his side?”

Her voice cracked, unleashing a flood of raw emotion inside of me that sent my pulse into a frenzy. For a split second, her panic was mine, and thoughts and emotions poured into my head, unrestrained.

Kai dead.

All of them, dead.

Now I’m all alone.

I swung my head like it could shake the thoughts out until I could recover. “Nothing happened to your brother, Laverne.” I kept my tone even, but she didn’t look any less concerned. “He’s safe. He needed to rest, so I?—”

The whack of Laverne’s flippers pounding on the ground cut me off as she snapped into action. Her jaw dropped, her teeth bared. But instead of taking her rage out on me, she bounded for the countertop, leaping up and balancing on her tail so she could scoop up the pile of room keys in her jaws. Then she pushed off, giving herself a sliding start to the door.

“Laverne!” I called after her, my pulse hammering in my head. But she had already slapped the door open and nosed through it, darting headfirst into the hall.

“ Alhey .” I grunted before chasing after her, making sure to flick the door wedge so I wouldn’t get locked out of my room. Wrestling my key back from her would be a miracle, especially after she found out I’d left Claira alone with Kai.

When I got through the door, Laverne was already down the hall, her nose pressed against the door to Kai’s room. “Laverne!”

She didn’t even pause, trying out the different keys to the lock. She had the door open a second later, and I was only halfway down the hall when the screaming started.

Claira’s screams.

I made it to Kai’s door in a flash and growled out my frustration when I found the door had already relocked. I was deciding whether to rip the lock off or break the door down when the handle turned. The door flew open, and there was Claira, her red hair swinging as she threw a panicked look over her shoulder at Laverne.

I stood there, chest heaving, too stunned to move.

She was completely naked.

“Harlot!” Laverne screeched, projecting loud enough for any merfolk within ten leagues to hear. She was barking, too, her tongue frothing as she snapped at Claira’s feet.

Laverne charged forward and Claira jumped with a squeal, her eyes meeting mine as she bolted through the door. A flicker of something passed over her face, and she shoved right into me, throwing her arms around my waist like she thought I could protect her. Those soft lips whispered, “Barren,” sinking into me with a sigh of relief, and my body moved on its own.

I yanked her close, wrapping around her as a shield while Laverne bounced and yipped at my heels.

“You strumpet! Dirty sand slug!”

“Stop it, Laverne!” Kai’s voice called from behind us.

My arm closed around Claira’s bare waist as the barking faded. Seeing Claira like this, it should have been obvious Kai had awoken, but the realization hit like a blow to the chest. Relief that Kai was alive mixed with something charged and dark, making my jaw clench.

Laverne’s joyous cries filled my head as she retreated into the room, her flippers pounding the carpet in a gallop. “Big Brother! You’re awake!”

“Wait, Claira, don’t lea— oof. ” Kai’s voice cut off, and I didn’t need to look back to know that Laverne had done a belly flop, tackling him back down to the bed.

My mind was blank when I scooped Claira up with my arm.

“I thought she was going to murder me,” Claira said, shaking where I held her against my chest. She was nearly breathless, like she had just come back from the fitness center herself. I pushed that thought from my mind, and it wasn’t until I was already down the hall that I realized I was carrying her back to my room.

“How is a sea lion scarier than a cecaelia?” Claira panted the words against my neck as I shouldered my door open.

The door knocked against the wedge as I set her down in the center of the room. My heartbeat hammered in my head as I straightened up, suddenly faced with the question of why I’d brought her here, and what I was going to do now that I had.

I watched her initial relief fade away from her face, replaced by a flair of panic as the same questions likely popped into her mind, neither of which I had an answer to.

So we stood there, pausing for a breath, taking each other in. I could tell she was waiting for me to say something, to react in some way, but my mind was blank; I couldn’t move. Couldn’t think.

Say something.

My mouth opened, but her eyelashes fell before I could force any words out. She slanted away from me, awkwardly folding her arms over her chest.

“I’m sorry.” Color rose over her face. “I should have known she would barge in like that. I should have been… prepared.” She took a hesitant step toward my bed, like she was thinking of using its sheets to cover up, but had thought better of it. “Do you have something I could wear?”

Sweat pooled down my back as I realized that, for once, I didn’t want to clothe her.

I wanted her on my bed, wrapped in my sheets, my body next to her so she could use me as she saw fit. As a shield, as a lover, I would do anything to get my voice to call to her. I didn’t care how she used me, as long as it gave me the chance to prove my worth.

Her eyes darted to where my luggage sat. “Just like a T-shirt or something?” she whispered, and the vulnerability in her voice tore my selfish thoughts away.

I could barely speak while she was around, and I thought that taking her to my bed would be enough to prove my worth?

I managed a strained, “Mmh,” as I went for my luggage.

My gaze landed on the side of her neck as I passed, and my vision tunneled, everything in me going blank. Before I was aware I’d moved, I was in front of her, brushing her hair away to inspect the side of her neck and shoulder.

Red marks swept down her skin like footprints scattered in sand. I didn’t realize my thumb was tracing down the line, feeling the slight swells, until her skin shuddered underneath my touch.

Friendship meant nothing to me as I growled out three low words. “He hurt you?”

Her shoulders shivered as she craned her chin to meet my gaze. A bold defiance glittered in her eyes. “I liked it.”

Another gut punch. “You… liked it.” My shoulders slumped as I sank away, going for the counter. My fingers shook with lost restraint as I grabbed my phone, my mind drowning in a surge of thoughts.

I needed to have clothes delivered to her. To cover her up, so I wouldn’t have to see what he’d done.

He had hurt her. But she liked it.

My body burned, overwhelmed by conflicting emotions. Before I realized it, I was at her neck again, brushing more hair away to get a second look.

She swallowed down a gulp, her lips slowly parting as she watched the madness overtake me. “You believe me, don’t you, Barren?”

I froze, reminded of the last time I’d doubted her sincerity. In the ocean, I’d taken a look inside her mind that had resulted in my hand clamping around her throat. In that moment, it had taken everything in me to hold back my strength, and even though I’d successfully fought the impulse, I’d still hurt her before I’d forced my hand to let go.

I’d used my magic to look inside thousands of minds, but Claira’s was like nothing I’d ever seen. Layers of darkness crowded its corners like a fog, impenetrable except for a glimpse that I sorely regretted. A dark truth hidden so deep, even she wasn’t aware.

Telepathically linking to her had been a mistake I would never repeat.

I pulled away from her, letting her hair fall back in place against her neck. My jaw barely moved as I answered. “I believe you.”

I didn’t need to pry inside her mind with magic to know she was telling the truth. Kai hadn’t really hurt her, but that knowledge did little to keep my thrall crazed mind from wanting to rip his jaw off.

“I’m going to get you clothes,” I said, turning on my phone. “Don’t open the door. Not for anyone.”

“Hey, wait a second—” Claira’s voice followed me to the door, but I didn’t stop. I needed to get somewhere my head could clear. Throwing the wedge back, I closed the door, not even caring I didn’t have a key to get back in.

One look at Claira’s body, and I couldn’t think. I wasn’t built for carefree flirting and smiles. My body had been trained to react, and I needed to get out, to get away, before the impulses had me doing something I would regret.

My hand shook as I scrolled through the contacts in my phone. When I landed on the right number, I held the phone to my ear and waited. The line picked up before it even rang.

“Sir?”

I blew out a slow breath, composing myself. “Putting in a request for a delivery. Female clothes, warm, for travel. Have them sent up to my room.”

Soft keyboard clicks tapped in my ear until the voice on the line continued, “And what size pants, shirt, and undergarments will we be sending up, sir?”

Instantly, Claira stood naked in my mind. I cleared my throat, shifting on my feet. “Small… a-and curved.”

The soft tapping abruptly stopped. “Small… and curved ,” the receptionist drawled, and I ground my teeth, feeling foolish.

“If that is all, sir, someone will be there to drop off your request within the hour. Glory to the Queen.”

I nodded absently, my throat scratching as I repeated, “Glory to the Queen.”

The line went silent, and I dropped my phone, noticing then that I was still dressed in what I’d worn to the fitness center. “ Alhey .” The gray sweatpants were revealing exactly how foolish my thoughts had been, and I wondered if Claira had noticed.

After adjusting myself in vain, I set my back against the wall next to my door and tried not to think about how I’d abandoned Claira on the other side of it.

Then my phone buzzed, reminding me who the hall I was standing in belonged to. My eyes glazed as I read the text message I knew would be coming.

Lynn: It’s about time. You’ve kept me waiting.

A second message came, and as I scanned it, my jaw set.

Lynn: I trust you won’t leave any messes behind for me to clean up when you take her.

I turned my phone off and leaned my head against the wall.

It was all hers. Every room, every staff member, every personal spy hidden in the corridors. Even the kitchen where I’d distracted myself by cooking meals for everyone so that I might forget that I belonged to her as well.