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Claira

I glanced back at the bed where Kai was resting. He looked so relaxed, but I knew better than to think he was just taking a nap. It would be impossible for anyone to sleep with Laverne blowing noisy huffs of fish breath across their face.

On second thought—as tired as I was, maybe I could. Now that Leander and Barren were gone, it was like my exhaustion had finally caught up with me. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and let my body recover, too.

Rolling out my shoulders, I sighed. My senses were still on high alert, but now that our lives weren’t in danger, I knew I should get some rest.

“Guess I need a pillow,” I mumbled as I scanned the room. Kai had mentioned the hotel staff stashing pillows away, so the closet seemed like a good place to start. Maybe I’d get lucky and find a blanket in there, too—though I doubted the housekeepers would willingly provide more material for Kai and Laverne to use for their pillow forts.

Ha . The thought of them building forts and hiding pillows for the housekeepers to find every morning brought a curl to my lips as I eased open the closet. Just as I thought, someone had piled two stark white pillows on the top shelf inside it. Score . They looked nice and fluffy—way better than the sorry lump Leander slept with.

I pulled them down, then moved back over to the bed, pausing to weigh whether or not I was brave enough to climb in it. My eyes fell on Laverne, and I winced. There was no telling what she’d do if she woke up to find me in bed with them.

Okay, I had some idea . One that involved her nose nudging me off the side of the mattress, and me waking up when I faceplanted on the floor.

Picturing it made me snort. Yeah, that was exactly what she’d do. The couch it was, then.

Hugging tightly to my pillows, I made my way over to it. The fabric was still damp from where Leander had laid out on it earlier, but I took a seat anyway. It might have been a little sticky, but the lingering scent of salt water was a welcomed reminder of home.

My heart twisted in my chest—I missed Dad and Gram so much.

Pulling my legs up onto the couch, I found a comfortable position and shut my eyes.

An image of Gram, her hands working over the tangled weave of a net, was waiting for me behind my eyelids. I let the tune she always hummed play in my mind like a lullaby as I waited to drift off to sleep.

I’d go back to them soon. As soon as I could.

A sudden thought almost shook me back upright, but I took in a slow breath as my mind raced with questions.

Sure, I wanted to go home, but what about Leander? Kai and Barren? Would returning home mean never seeing them again?

My life had gotten complicated, and for once, I couldn’t clearly see what I needed to do next.

The one thing I did know was that a huge part of me didn’t want to leave. I wasn’t even sure if I could leave them. But Dad and Gram…

My head shook over the pillows, and I forced my mind back to the image of Gram gently rocking on the back porch, a net draped over her lap, until the steady sound of Laverne’s snoring became muffled, and I finally drifted off.

… Whack!

My whole body jumped at the noise. I jerked upright, my eyes on high alert as I searched for whatever had fallen. The whooshing sound of a flushed toilet carried into the room as the bathroom door swung open. From the doorway, Laverne’s body appeared. Her neck rocked back as she reared up on her tail to bop the light switch with the tip of her nose. The lights cut off, and when her chest slapped back on the floor, a splash of water reminded me that the bathroom was still very much flooded.

With the switch now off, just enough light filtered through the window for me to notice Laverne’s eyes as they narrowed on me.

“I took the couch. See,” I said, feeling strangely defensive. I held in a breath as I waited for her to project something back to me, but she turned her nose up and snorted before waddling out of the bathroom.

Wait—the bathroom. I’d definitely heard a flush, which meant Laverne was… toilet trained?

I mean, I shouldn’t have been too surprised, but still?—

Laverne’s long neck slung over as she passed by the couch. Her wide jaws clamped down on both of my pillows in one quick snap. Her head swerved, and my pillows followed. The two white clouds flew into the air as she tossed them onto the bed. Then she jumped up herself and shot me a pointed look as she curled her body around them like a possessive dragon protecting its hoard of gold.

Well, okay then. It was clear the whole trident-rescue thing had solidified her hatred for me. Although she hadn’t said it, I knew she blamed me for what had happened to Kai.

My lips twitched as I reclined back on the couch, my head now having nothing to rest on but the stiff edge of an armrest. It was my fault. I knew it. Laverne knew it. And part of me wanted her to scream at me for it. I wanted someone—anyone—to say it, and then maybe all this guilt hanging over me like a knife to the back of my neck could finally drop, slicing me, destroying me, and I could be the one hurting instead of him.

“It should have been me,” I whispered before taking in a shaky breath. “I was the useless one, not him.”

The long huff that came from over on the bed told me that Laverne agreed.

I turned over on to my back to stare up at the ceiling. Tears stung my eyes, but I held them back. Crying wouldn’t change anything, and I sure wasn’t going to get any sympathy from Laverne. I stared up at the blank, white nothingness above me until Laverne’s breathing slowed, and her snoring started up again. Finally, I pinched my eyes shut. I thought about Dad standing at Lady Ochre ’s helm and imagined I was there beside him. I looked happy in that vision. Human. But that place beside him seemed so far off now. Like a beautiful dream I wasn’t confident I could ever return to.

Sure, I’d never truly felt human on land, but it was easy to trick myself into thinking I was when Dad and Gram were there beside me. They’d always treated me like I belonged, and that had been enough. But now…

I drifted back to sleep on that thought until the sound of plastic rustling stirred me. My eyes opened to an enormous figure standing stock-still at the foot of the couch.

“Oh, Barren.” I rubbed at my eyes until they focused. “You’re back.”

His thick eyebrows drew together, and I blinked up at him, wondering why he was staring down at me with such a grave expression on his face.

“Is everything okay?” I asked through a yawn. I glanced over at the bed to make sure Kai and Laverne were still on it.

Barren’s head shook like he was coming out of a daze. “Yeah,” he said finally and plunked a plastic bag he was holding onto the floor. Sliding a key card out of his pocket, he set it on the corner of the couch. “Brought you water, a toothbrush, some toothpaste.” He drew the back of his hand over his stubbled jaw, looking somewhat abashed as he turned away.

He took a step, then a heavy breath, before glancing back over his shoulder. “You’re not… cold?” he asked carefully, his dark eyes sliding down the entire length of the couch.

It was then I realized how comfortable I’d made myself on the couch when I was sleeping. One of my legs was drawn up, giving the entire room a wide view of what was underneath the bottom hem of the borrowed shirt I was wearing. Or what wasn’t underneath it. Namely, some underwear.

My knees snapped together, and I shot up, pulling Kai’s shirt down around me. Why, oh why, did my hips have to be too wide to fit into Kai’s pants? “Sorry!” I blurted, and my entire body heated to the point of boiling.

I wasn’t sure why I was sorry. I mean, it wasn’t like I’d chosen to be half-naked on purpose, and I’d already seen all of him at the beach, and he was the one who was looking at me, so?—

“You should be on the bed,” he said, and my eyes flicked back up to him.

“I’m fine with the couch.” I gave him a smile I hoped was convincing. Gosh, my face felt like it was melting. I was so embarrassed. “Three is too many for one bed, anyway.”

One of Barren’s eyebrows lifted. “Is it?” he asked, and I gave a little laugh at his joke.

He stared at me, his jaw tense, and seconds passed as I stared back.

He… wasn’t joking?

My lips parted, but before I could say anything, he’d turned for the bed.

Lifting off the couch, I got to my feet. “Wait—what are you doing?”

Laverne’s whiskers twitched as Barren’s arm slid underneath her. The mattress depressed until her body rolled into his arm. Her nostrils flared as he lifted her, though when her head flopped back onto his shoulder, she looked like she was still asleep.

“Taking her to my room.” There was a gentleness in the deep hum of Barren’s voice that I wasn’t prepared for. “So you both can get some rest.”

Laverne thundered out another snore that perfectly accented his point, and he gave me a nod before heading for the door.

“Hold on.” I grabbed the key card and chased after him. “The doors. Let me get them for you.”

Part of me wondered if he would still try to open it with one arm, but he waited patiently for me at the door.

“Thank you,” he said as soon as my hand landed on the handle.

I felt a new wave of heat beat against my face. “You’re welcome.”

Following Barren down the hallway, I watched Laverne’s head lightly bounce against his shoulder with each step. She was going to be delighted beyond belief when she woke up in Barren’s bed. That is, until she realized that meant Kai was alone with me.

When we arrived at Barren’s door, he waited for me to get the handle. But when I went to reach for it, I realized I had the key to Kai’s room, not his.

“Front pocket,” he said gruffly, shifting his grip on Laverne to give me better access to his left hip.

My mouth went dry as I stared at the neatly pleated front of his slacks. Boy, did those pockets look deep.

“O-okay,” I said, swallowing hard. I slipped my hand into his pocket in search of the card. His body heat rolled up my wrist, and he shifted on his feet as my hand sank further.

“Got it.” Pulling out the card, I used it on the lock and opened the handle. “There you go,” I muttered before sliding it back into his pants.

His dark gaze rested on my lips. “Thank you, Claira.”

My stomach fluttered.

“Good night,” he said before carefully stepping through the door.

“Good night,” I called after him, and even after the door shut, I stared at it for a moment.

… He wanted to kiss me.

Wait, no. Surely, I was only getting that feeling because I was overtired, right?

Either that, or I’d been the one wanting him to kiss me.

Geez, I was pathetic. Turning back down the hall, I grumbled, “You stick your hand in a guy’s pants and suddenly you think?—”

I nearly tripped over my own feet.

The door across the hall was open, and a man and a woman were gawking at me, mouths gaped, luggage in tow.

“Good evening,” I choked out, but I didn’t stick around long enough for them to greet me back. Sprinting, I rushed down the hallway, my eyes set on Kai’s room. When I reached the door, I swiped the card and dove through it before anyone else could see me.

Could tonight be any more embarrassing? I sat the key card on the counter. I was as bad as Leander was—showing my goods off to just about everyone I came across. First thing tomorrow, I was going to ask Barren to find me some pants, some underwear… something to cover up with.

With a sigh, I toed over to the side of the bed. Kai was still asleep, but he looked different without Laverne beside him. Strangely lonely.

I didn’t like it. Kai shouldn’t ever feel lonely.

Frowning, I turned down a corner of the comforter and slipped underneath it, careful to leave plenty of space between us. Pulling the covers up over my shoulders, I stared at the side of his face. There was so much I wanted to tell him when he finally woke up. About the cecaelia, the shell, the trident that was now inside Leander… My hand found his underneath the covers, and my fingers curled around it, holding on to him so maybe he wouldn’t feel all alone now that Laverne wasn’t here with him.

It felt like I’d just barely shut my eyes when I awoke to the whispered sound of my name.

“Claira?”