Page 29 of Culture and Curiosities (Blue Ridge Charm #1)

Wren

“Getting enough sleep and little time has made your behavior questionable, my mate.”

No, it was definitely because of the gate and cranky people and just a bit too much excitement.

“I’m going to another planet, Daddy.”

That meant I got to be a tiny bit naughty.

“The British people who speak another weird kind of English call it being cheeky. That’s a better word than naughty.”

Daddy’s mental sigh made me smile.

“There should not be several versions of English, my mate. You have at least three versions based on what I have seen in your media.”

Daddy watched too much TV when I’d been doing boring meeting stuff without him…and when I’d fallen asleep too early at night. But at least he wasn’t worried about our weather any longer.

“We’re just going to have to learn all of them together so we can give them to anyone else coming across.”

Daddy was pretending to be relaxed as he gave me a silly glare.

“Do not wish more visitors on us, my mate. The ones that may have already crossed may be causing diner men-level havoc somewhere in your country.”

Technically that was a possibility but I thought the chances were low.

“They haven’t ended up on the news yet.”

And the one we’d heard rumors about had figured out how to get work under the table, so he couldn’t be too big of a pain in the ass.

No, the current pain in the butt who wouldn’t stop causing problems was Pierce.

Be careful.

Don’t drive anyone crazy.

Did you sign me up for a job?

He was so high-maintenance he’d even managed to distract us and keep me from having fun time with Daddy earlier.

“He is worried about you, my mate.”

Oops.

Daddy’s tone made me feel slightly guilty but then Pierce glared at everyone again and it poofed away like magic.

“Family’s hard but I’ll remember he’s worried.”

That made Daddy happier but soon we were both distracted by the portal. We came around a corner in the trail and there it was.

Amazing.

“We’re here.” We’d done it. We were going through the portal. I was going to another planet. “I can’t wait to meet your family.”

They were going to love me and Daddy was going to stop worrying about everything and it was all going to be amazing.

Besides, they would never be as nuts as my mother so it was going to be a piece of cake.

Big, yummy Kenzie cake.

Agent Murphy couldn’t seem to distinguish cake-excited from the naughty kind because he sighed and started grumbling again. “Are they going to keep their clothes on this time? There’s no closet.”

Daddy was right…he needed to learn to knock.

And to stop grumbling when he wanted attention.

But Klynn seemed to think it was cute based on how he was watching the cranky human as he eased his way out of the woods as discreetly as he could. He’d done his best to stay as far away as he could right up until he’d met Agent Cranky Pants.

Yep, nothing going on there.

“Clothes on for now, Daddy, but later you’re mine.” I said it just loud enough for Agent Cranky to glare again and for Klynn to inch closer to him.

Yep, something about Agent Cranky turned him on.

Was liking pains in the butt a kink?

“Your behavior will impact that, my mate.” Daddy had learned to glare so good I shivered, which made me think that might be a kink too.

“Yes, Daddy.” Giving him a kiss as we finally stopped by the gate, I barely held back my excitement. “I’m going to say goodbye to Pierce really quick. You talk to Klynn and make sure he’s ready?”

He seemed to have everything packed up like he said he would, cute alien-looking travel bag and all, but I wanted to make sure he was okay mentally. “Ask him if he remembered to pack his ereader.”

Losing that would make him nuts.

Daddy winced. “No one knows if it will work once we are through the portal.”

Yeah, that would be bad if it didn’t.

“You guys figured out how to charge it with those crystal things and he’s got a ton of books.” If he came back again the plan was to get him his own and pick out a lot more books, but he was still working his way through the original list he’d been given. “It’s going to be fine.”

Fingers crossed.

Giving him one more cute cheek kiss so he’d forget I’d been fucking with everyone, I smiled and nearly skipped over to Pierce.

There was just so much in me I was going to burst if it didn’t escape soon.

Driving everyone crazy might not have been the healthiest way to let some of it out, but it’d been fun.

Pierce looked like he was constipated and stuffed with poop instead of excitement, though.

“I’m going to have so much fun.” Best adventure ever. “I’m with my mate. I’m getting to explore somewhere new, and my mother cannot interfere. There is nothing to worry about no matter what, right?”

He sighed.

He grumbled.

He ignored the way his mate was starting to giggle.

He finally nodded. “The reminder about your mother helped. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Giving him a big squishy hug, I pushed back my too big emotions and whispered softly. “And thank you for taking such good care of me until I found my Daddy. He’s the best. I promise.”

Daddy was sweet and funny and smart and an alien…he literally couldn’t get any better.

“He’d better be.” Pierce gave me one more big hug before glaring at me again. “You have fun driving him crazy and remember to just be yourself—”

“But not too much.” I couldn’t resist butting in. He was going to worry himself into being my mother if he wasn’t careful. “I’m getting to visit another planet, drama llama. It’s better than anything I’ve ever dreamed of.”

Another fucking planet.

Best adventure ever.

Best Daddy ever.

Best mate bond ever.

“And you’ve dreamed big, birdie.” Pierce got mushy and kissed the top of my head before being a brat and shoving me away as he rolled his eyes. “Go find your Daddy and behave. You’ve got some first impressions to make.”

“I’m going to be a first impression they never forget.” I was cute and sweet and my mate loved me. It was going to be great.

But since Pierce seemed to need a tiny distraction to stop his worries, I gave him a big smile. “Oh, and thank you for everything. Your new house is going to be so pretty.”

Ha.

I escaped before he could figure out how he was going to grill me. So far it seemed like everyone had been playing dumb and I was going to let them fuck with him a bit more before someone broke. Pierce was going to bluster and complain, but he and Merritt were the perfect people to watch the gate.

They were both very responsible, loved the area, and he had to wait for me to come back so my mother didn’t make everyone insane.

“Reporting for duty, Daddy Manny. Family commitments handled and ready to leave Earth.” Daddy looked like he wanted to smile as he wrapped one arm around me, but he’d been talking to Agent Cranky Pants and Klynn so he behaved himself.

“Thank you.” Daddy kissed my cheek before straightening and glancing around the clearing. “Everyone else seems to be ready as well. We’ve double-checked the list of visitors coming through the portal, everyone is claiming to have their gear, and there doesn’t seem to be any last-minute issues.”

That was amazing and would probably end up being wrong as soon as we got to the other side, but I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want us to jinx ourselves.

“Agent Murphy has done a good job of keeping track of everyone and keeping our people on this side of the gate organized.” Daddy actually cracked a smile as Agent Cranky Pants sighed. “It has been a big job but it has been appreciated.”

“No one else was levelheaded enough to get it done.” He hadn’t stopped the sexy glare thing, though, so everyone wanting to get close to him had probably helped in the herding process. “Thank you for helping us even though this hasn’t been what you were probably expecting to be doing this week.”

His life had definitely changed on a dime and we all probably needed to remember that just a little bit more.

Hmm.

Smiling at Klynn, I nodded toward Agent Murphy. “See? Some people from Earth can behave themselves. You just needed to find a human to talk to instead of the men at the diner.”

Bingo.

“They’re…” Klynn paused, probably trying to figure out a way to say something rude without actually sounding rude.

“Frustrating.” Agent Murphy decided to be helpful. “Although I have a few other choice words if you need help with your English.”

Dragons above.

Klynn smiled.

The world had officially gone mad.

Had we been thrown into an alternate dimension?

“Someone to practice with would be helpful.” Klynn shot Daddy a glare. “Everyone has been busy with…other things lately and I haven’t practiced as much as I should have.”

Oh, throwing us under the bus to get in with the sexy hottie.

I approved.

Daddy didn’t.

He started to open his mouth, so I squeezed his hand and interrupted. “We’re going to go make the rounds one more time and start moving everyone toward the gate before they get distracted. Will you guys take the end of the line and make sure no one wanders off?”

It probably wasn’t likely but someone doing something ridiculous was a strong possibility still.

“I’ve already explained to one man that he could not bring a cage to bring back a dinosaur.” Klynn nodded as Agent Murphy sighed. “They will need supervision. He wasn’t even in the list of people going through the gate.”

We were going to end up picking up random stragglers just because they all had severe impulse control issues.

“That doesn’t surprise me at all.” Agent Murphy wasn’t surprised as he led Klynn around the clearing but Daddy was.

“They were talking and getting along.”

Yeah, it was weird.

“Maybe Klynn finally read enough romance novels that he’s ready to talk to…an attractive guy?”

Was I allowed to question if they might be mates?

“I am not sure that is how mates work, my Wren.”

Well, at least I wasn’t the only one.

“So it’s okay that we think they’re mates?”

Oh.

“Do you think we need to explain to Agent Murphy what mates are?”

He knew a lot of weird facts about us, but every time someone tried to figure out why he either glared in silence or just walked off.

So of course it’d turned into some kind of game for the locals…and even the visiting council members had started getting in on the action. Pierce was pretty sure the locals’ bad behavior was contagious and Daddy was starting to agree with him.

“That is a question I have been wondering as well, my mate.”

We’d figure it out…hopefully before those two cranky cuties actually bonded.

“Mates are meant to be.”

Daddy did a mental shrug like he wasn’t really worried about it.

“If you don’t line up and get your shit in order I’m going to—” Whatever Boyd had been going to say was cut off as his mate rubbed his back, not even trying to be discreet about it, but it had the desired effect and the Canadian man who’d been wandering a bit too close to the gate moved back to the rest of the group.

What was in his bag?

Did he have a dinosaur cage too that he wanted to take with him?

Did his bag seem a bit too big?

Had he been hanging out with the Florida people too much?

“Please assemble in order, so we can proceed through the gate.” Daddy’d had enough dawdling too but he wasn’t as grumpy as Boyd.

“Remember that some of us coming through felt a bit of nausea, but it faded quickly. Walk slowly so we don’t have an accident on the other side and once you are through the portal please move to the right. ”

They were all so excited and worked up I had a feeling it was going to be more like bumper cars on the other side rather than orderly walking, but Daddy had high hopes that we could all walk without causing chaos.

It was cute and completely wrong.

“You’re representing Earth.” Boyd didn’t seem to trust any of them either.

“Don’t do anything a local would do and don’t start any interstellar incidents.

Don’t do anything that would piss off your mothers.

Keep your fucking clothes on and don’t try to bring back any fucking dinosaurs.

We’re not looking to start a zoo or change the ecosystem. ”

Yeah, those weren’t reasonable goals either but it would be fun to see what was going to happen.

“Let’s go.” Daddy projected calm confidence with his mostly blank expression but inside he was just as excited as the rest of us. “There will be a slight pressure but it is not painful.”

“Kids did this so we can do it.” The only Florida man who could behave himself was a voice of reason. “They shouldn’t have but they did and none of the diaries said it was painful.”

We were going on a field trip…it would be fine.

And if it wasn’t, well, I’d be with Daddy so it’d still be fine.