Page 26 of Culture and Curiosities (Blue Ridge Charm #1)

Wren

Presents for the Daddies.

Presents for the littles.

Presents for the naughty men.

Hmm…

I showed Daddy a picture of some of my favorite toys, the diner men, and then the portal.

He laughed out loud.

“No, we don’t have anything like that…at least not that I know of.” Shaking his head, he poked at his food and got thinky. “There are probably couples who are discreet and have explored on their own but nothing that is society-wide.”

I showed him sad diner men.

He thought that was funny too.

“Yes, they would find that sad but we’re going to have to make sure they understand our differences going forward. If they keep shocking everyone who comes through, it’s going to cause a problem.” Daddy frowned and shook his head. “I don’t even want to imagine the incidents they might create.”

They were naughty.

I showed him Boyd and Kenzie’s Daddy.

“Yes, I agree. They’re the best choice for explaining the problem to the diner men, but I was also thinking that a safer welcoming committee might be a good idea.

” Daddy sighed when I giggled. “I know. It’s a long shot as you would say, but they need a group who are safe to meet people from my side.

The diner men need to create a Team Boring. ”

Did they have any boring people?

Even the people who weren’t naughty didn’t seem to be boring.

I gave him my question pictures and he shrugged. “I don’t know who would be best. We haven’t met anyone that boring yet.”

Yeah, no boring people were allowed.

Who was close?

I showed Daddy a picture of the library and bugs and then more question pictures.

“You’re right. They’re the closest we’ve met to boring and even they’re littles in some way and both fairly shy.” Daddy finished up his yummies and put his paper plate back in the bag. “I think we’re going to have to leave this for someone else to solve while we’re gone.”

Yep, not Daddy’s problem.

I was Daddy’s problem.

And his problem was ready for bathtime and cuddle time and bottle time.

Daddy nodded when I showed him all my stuff I was ready for. “Are you all done?”

Hmm…

Two more bites.

One.

Two.

Hahaha.

I could count.

“I do not understand the reference, my mate, but your society has extensive fictional materials.” I showed Daddy a picture of the puppet Count from TV and he shook his head. “I can’t decide if that looks friendly or frightening.”

He was so silly.

“Bubbles will definitely be safer and I know you’ll protect me if we watch scary things on the television.” Daddy stood up and kissed my head. “I might have a surprise for you if you can promise to protect me.”

Oh.

Present surprise?

Snack surprise?

Dessert surprise?

Toy surprise?

Daddy tried to look like Team Boring and he tried to keep his thoughts quiet. “Let’s have bathtime and then you can see what I have for you.”

Naughty Daddy.

New shoes?

New toys?

Chocolate?

New camping toys?

Coloring book?

He didn’t even smile inside or out when I showed him my ideas.

“Okay, you’re all done. You’re just mashing it up now.” Daddy looked like he wanted to laugh but he pretended to be serious. “That looks…interesting.”

Little tato mountain with falling rocks.

“And dangerous.” He cocked his head. “Is that a rockslide?”

And we all fall down.

Boom.

Daddy shivered. “No, we are not falling down. You and I can both fly and we’re not going anywhere near mountains tall enough to fall down like that.”

I showed Daddy big mountains and small mountains as he cleaned up the mess. “Are those places that you’ve been or are you asking if we have anything like that on my world?”

Both.

I showed Daddy the excited punctuation as I put my thumb back in my mouth and he laughed in my head. “I think that means both, but no, we don’t have anything like that really. From what you’ve told me, your world has always been…geologically active.”

Daddy frowned and got huffy. “I need to practice the science words more, my mate.”

Gonna be a good helper for Daddy.

Gonna be a good reader for Daddy.

Gonna show Daddy all the science words.

“Well, my world was active in the past but that was a very long time ago from what I understand.” Daddy’s head had the portal in it but it had sand and big boulders all around it. “I need to double-check the dates, but no one alive has ever witnessed anything like the volcanos you showed me.”

We had lots of rocking and rolling and exploding.

Daddy shivered. “I would prefer not living near exploding mountains of fire and lava, my mate.”

Hmm.

I showed him the beachy one I saw on TV.

Daddy sighed. “Why do the prettiest places in your world end up being so dangerous?”

Earth was special like the dragons were special…it was kind of dangerous and stupid too but still fun to be around.

“I don’t think our ancestors understood how dangerous your world is.” Daddy looked around like he was picturing town and our mountains and our trees. “This area looks so peaceful but we underestimated how dangerous it was.”

Daddy sighed when I nodded. “Your morning news showed volcanos, earthquakes, and violent storms called hurricanes all in one day.”

No more news for Daddy.

Daddy needed cartoons.

Cartoon violence didn’t upset Daddy as bad as the weather.

Balloons and flowers for Daddy.

Ha.

He laughed.

“Yes, that is a hint that I understand. Happier topics for Daddy.” He rolled his eyes when I giggled. He was getting good at that so I clapped.

He cocked his head like a confused puppy until he got it. “Thank you. Yes. I’m becoming very of Earth.”

Pausing, Daddy frowned. “I refuse to say I am becoming local because that has implied meanings that I do not approve of…however…I am becoming an Earthling is not correct.”

Huffing, Daddy glared. “I am starting to understand why English has so many words.”

No giggles.

No giggles.

No giggles.

Bubbles.

I overflowed the bubbles down the bond making Daddy’s laugh fill my head. “Bathtime, yes. Then playtime.”

No.

I stacked boxes of presents all around my mind like I’d seen in a cartoon one time.

“I haven’t forgotten your surprise. I didn’t say present.” Daddy tried to be boring and silly as he shrugged. “But you have to protect me.”

I could do that.

I could keep Daddy safe.

Big hugs to keep him safe and lots of pillows and bubble wrap in my head to keep him safe there too.

Daddy made a thinky sound. “Hugs are wonderful, but that looks frightening. Am I stuck?”

Stuck.

Safe and stuck.

“We’ll have to discuss what keeping Daddy safe means to you, my mate.” Daddy kissed my head and took my hands. “Bathtime first, however, since that doesn’t require big boy words.”

Yay.

Oh.

I showed Daddy my binkie.

“Yes.” He stood straighter and squeezed my hand. “That’s at the top of your pack so we could get to it easily.”

Daddy was a good packer and made everything nice and neat.

Special spells for a special boy.

Special magic for a special mate.

Special packing for a special…packer?

Hmm…

“Are your question marks chasing you , my mate?” When I nodded, Daddy stopped walking us to the bag and looked confused. “Did you give yourself additional questions?”

Questions just escaped sometimes.

Nodding again, I wiggled my thumb hand at Daddy.

He went quiet-quiet and nodded. “Yes, binkies in the bath because you’re going to need your thumb to play.”

Yay.

Playtime.

Bubble time.

Daddy time.

Snuggle time.

Surprise time.

“No matter how many times presents come through our bond, that will not get me to ruin the surprise. Bathtime first.” Daddy looked sneaky like a happy naughty villain. “I think you’re going to be happy that I know where the bathtub toys are too.”

Daddy had good packing memory and lots of special spells for his special boy.

Special magic for his special mate.

Special packing for his special…packer?

No.

“Your mind is a fascinating place, my mate, but let’s see if we can make it a more relaxing place.” Daddy gave me another kiss before releasing my hand. “Stay with me. You seem like you could get into mischief tonight.”

He was so funny.

I was funny too and I showed him the diner men.

Daddy pretended to be shocked as he undid one of the special spells and pulled out my little bag that wasn’t little anymore. “You’re going to be like the naughty men?”

Yes!

Naughty men were the best.

Daddy narrowed his eyes and pinched his lips together like the other Daddies did when they were being silly too…or when they’d been naughty. “No, I misunderstood the image. You are saying you would like special time tonight like the diner men talk about. My boy isn’t naughty.”

Oh.

Yes. I liked that idea too.

Special boy gets special time.

Special mate gets special dates.

Special…

There had to be three.

“Come here. Binkie and bubbles time.” Daddy gave me my binkie and gave me an outside smile when I started to suck. “That makes you very happy and relaxed.”

Sucking was the best.

I’d have to show Daddy other fun things to suck.

“ Wren .” Daddy’s shocked face made me laugh. “I guess…I guess that would be soothing to suck too.”

Daddy’s face said shocked.

Daddy’s head said hmm.

Daddy’s penis said let’s play.

Daddy was funny.

“Bathtime, my mate.” Daddy looked like he didn’t know what to say, so I sucked on my binkie harder. “We…we have a plan.”

Plans for now and plans for later.

Little now bigger later.

“I would like to know how a little looks so naughty.” He pretended to stare at me serious again as I giggled but his big feelings were coming through the bond. “You are always amazing, my mate.”

And cute.

And silly.

And naughty.

And giggly.

“Amazing and naughty.” Daddy pretended to look serious and narrowed his eyes, but I could feel his smile when I giggled. “Bathtime, my silly boy.”

Shaking his head and thinking about sucking things, Daddy couldn’t decide what to say out loud so he didn’t talk about it. Daddy was definitely more silly than me but that was okay because I’d show him relaxing sucking later.

“I do not think I am listening to that, my mate.” Making a frustrated sound, he set my special bag on the counter by the bathroom sink. “I don’t think I’m going to listen to that, my mate. Yes, that was much better.”

I distracted Daddy so much he forgot his regular English words.

No giggles.

No giggles.

No giggles.

I smiled big around my binkie and looked like a good boy when he glared at me. But I made him happy when I filled my mind with pretty hearts for Daddy.

Yep.

He sighed.

“Reminding me of your love is cheating, my mate.”

Nope.

But Daddy needed another distraction, not logic, so I bounced closer like a squirrel and peeked in my bag.

My toys.

It was Daddy’s turn to make a happy sound in his head as he nodded. “Yes, we’re ready for bathtime.”

Daddy too.

He even gave an outside smile to my little bag of water toys.

I had them in a special bag like my camping plate stuff had so they would dry good when I played with them in lakes and stuff.

As he opened my bag, I grabbed my monster and held it up.

Daddy’s eyes got big. “My mate, are those real animals from Earth or imagination ones like in the fiction books?”

Klynn found monster books.

Wiggling my tentacle monster, I tried to look happy and not naughty, but Daddy sighed. “Fiction. Thank the dragons above.”

Daddy didn’t like monsters with tentacles.

“Earth does strange things to imaginations.” Daddy looked into the bag and made another big sigh sound when he just saw regular animals. He picked out my whale and turned it over in his hand. “Are these small fish or large ones?”

I showed Daddy a picture from a science movie and his eyes got bigger-bigger as he turned on the tub water. “Great dragons above.”

Showing Daddy hearts and flowers around the big whale had him relaxing and frowning. “They’re nice? Something that big?”

Hmm.

I put all the Daddies I knew from the town into the water with the whale and Daddy out loud laughed as he went back to the counter and grabbed my bubble stuff out of my bag. “They’re the Daddies of the ocean? Alright, that would make a difference.”

Nodding, I bounced and wiggled as Daddy put my toys and bubble stuff in the water. Bigger bigger bigger.

Hmm.

I gave Daddy the question marks again.

“What am I doing?” Daddy pointed to the water where he’d just done magicy stuff. “I’m just making sure the bubbles don’t fade until I’m ready and that the water stays warm.”

Wow.

Daddy looked confused. “You don’t do that either?”

No.

Glancing between me and the tub, Daddy shrugged. “I don’t even begin to know where to start because there are so many things we do differently. I usually assume it is because you do things like humans to blend in, but I’m starting to realize that it is a lack of knowledge.”

Yep.

“Even realizing that, I don’t know where to start, so you will have to let me know when something is not familiar.” Daddy frowned as he waved his hand down me and my clothes went poof. “I’ll do my best to ask more questions instead of just assuming human differences.”

We were different, but yeah, Daddy did stuff we couldn’t.

Like making good bubbles.

And making clothes go poof.

“I still do not know where to start, however.” Daddy felt very thinky as he took my hands and helped me step into the bubbly water. “One thing at a time as they come up may be best until we can find a better way.”

As I sat down and Daddy released my hands because we were careful, I sent Daddy pictures of books.

“Yes.” Sitting down on the floor, Daddy nodded. “That may be the best way to start.”

Daddy had smart books and poetry books but not romance books, so they’d be kind of boring but that was okay.

Smiling outside again, Daddy looked down at the water like he was sneaky. “Are you ready for my surprise?”

Nodding, I sat straighter and looked like a good boy as Daddy did more magicy stuff.

Oh.

My toys.

That.

Daddy did magic so much better than the regular mages.

Swimming whales and monsters were much better than funny flowers.