Page 2 of Culture and Curiosities (Blue Ridge Charm #1)

I had plans to do a lot more with that Mason boy who was actually nearly forty and one of the only Doms in a hundred miles of my hometown that I wasn’t related to by blood or marriage.

I was smart enough not to point that out, though, because he’d just come out of a fucked-up marriage to a woman and I wasn’t sure if he was obviously out or not.

He was the one foot in and one foot out of the closet kind of bi and everyone kept forgetting about the liking dudes part of bi even though he’d taken a guy to the senior prom.

“He’s still thinking it over and wanted to do more research.

Were you going to help him with that or was his mother helping?

” His mother was nearly as insane as mine, which was one of the ways we’d bonded when I’d saved him from her in the grocery store a few weeks ago.

“She’s not as helpful as you are, though. ”

And we were off.

Twenty minutes and several long conversational detours later and she finally let out a deep breath. “I knew he was trouble but no one would listen.”

Jacob wasn’t a mass murderer…he’d joined the rodeo.

“Some people just need to learn their own lessons.” Hopefully before he broke any bones or knocked anyone up because women were that boy’s biggest problem…not that my mother would want to hear that part. “I’m sure you did your best to help.”

She was the definition of pushy, so I knew she’d at least tried to make him do what she wanted.

I’d hoped telling her what she wanted to hear would’ve been helpful to myself, but she sighed.

“Please tell me you’ve met some good people there, Wren.

This is your chance to network into finding a real job and maybe even finding a nice person to settle down with. ”

She wasn’t exactly homophobic but she really couldn’t seem to understand why I’d decided to be the gay kind of queer and not nice and bisexual. I’d given up explaining and had decided to take a different tactic.

“I have.” It was time to scare her into leaving me alone for a while. “I met this nice, young-twenties-aged dragon and he’s got two fated mates. Mates. They’ve got a strong bond and he wears so much glitter.”

Her dramatic groan had me fighting to sound normal and not laugh. “It’s not as bad as you think and it doesn’t get everywhere. I think it’s the body paint kind, though. You know, the stuff the girls down at the Happy Shack wear on special occasions.”

As she started to sputter, I pretended not to notice and kept barreling over her like she’d taught me to do. “I don’t think I’d manage with two…that just takes so much…stamina, but he’s very energetic and likes to tell everyone about them.”

That wasn’t a lie either, which made it even better.

“He’s kind of odd, though. He keeps saying human forms are crunchy but I don’t think I believe that.

Well, the eating part at least. Would that be cannibalism?

There was a debate about that but I wasn’t sure what side I was on. What would you have said?”

Goodbye.

She’d have said goodbye just as fast as she’d hung up on me.

And now I had at least twenty-four more hours.

She hadn’t appreciated my questions about if it was appropriate to have adult gear in the diner either, and I didn’t think she was going to like being asked about mochi tomorrow.

But it was better than her texting me every two hours like I was a baby who needed to be fed.

“Shopping time and then Pierce owes me a reward for talking to her so she didn’t call him.” He wasn’t my Daddy because he was my cousin and not the kind of cousin someone would play doctor with, but he was good about watching out for me and buying me dessert when I told him I’d been well-behaved.

Training him had been difficult and time-consuming, but so far, it’d been worth it. His mate, whoever that turned out to be, was going to appreciate all my hard work.

“Gonna find my Daddy and then I’m gonna escape somewhere fun with no cell service.” Like another planet. “Then she won’t be able to call me and she’ll have to find someone else to obsess over.”

Being an only child was hard.

“But it’s time to shop first and find my Daddy second.” I just knew he was wandering around there somewhere. I could almost feel him in the diner earlier but no one in there had been quite right.

My Daddy was going to be smart enough to know he couldn’t bring sex toys into the diner and sweet enough to give me attention right away. I didn’t care if he was a mage or a dragon, but smart enough to handle my mother and me was a must.

And if he could help make decisions about what we were going to do with the portal, that would be great because, so far, the locals kept shrugging every time it came up. They seemed to be playing a game of Not It when it came to making decisions.

But even I knew we couldn’t just leave a portal to another planet randomly open without supervision and making some decisions.

Duh.

“Okay, no more worries, candles for going through the portal because who knows if batteries will work and maybe some new lotion.” Then there was the crystal shop and I still had to meet the lady who did palm reading. “So much to do and so little time until the meetings start.”

I couldn’t decide if that was going to be fun or painful, but as I climbed out of the car and bounced toward the door to the candle shop, it became obvious. “Both. Definitely both as long as everyone else is just as much fun as the locals.”

I wasn’t sure about all the visiting council members, though. They’d been avoiding the magical locals and some of them had even decided to stay out at the hotel by the highway instead of in town. The men at the diner said their wives had been horrified at their manners.

So I was hoping that meant more chaos at some point, but I couldn’t figure out what flavor that would be. Somehow they made everything insane, so it wouldn’t be just a general scolding over bad manners.

Nope.

We’d get something fun and dramatic, and I hoped I had popcorn when it happened.

“Portals and drama and manners, oh my!” Hmm. “I need to work on that.”

Oh.

Walking into the candle shop, I fell in love and decided I was never leaving the Blue Ridge Mountains.

“This is amazing.”

Candles and twinkle lights and teas over in one corner…I’d found home.

“Thank you.” The smiling woman over by the teas could’ve been anywhere between twenty and forty, I didn’t understand women well enough to guess, but she was happy until her eyes widened. “Oh.”

Did I stand out as little?

Dragon?

Drama queen?

“You have to keep your clothes on and can’t ask about sex toys.”

All of the above.

“I’m just visiting.” She seemed relieved and worried about that at the same time if I was reading her expression right. “I can behave. I’m not local.”

One eyebrow went up.

For a human, she seemed to understand the problem with the locals…were they sure the humans in the area were in the dark about the whole dragons and mages thing?

“How about I promise that you can tattle on me to my mother if I say anything inappropriate?” That got a laugh as I waved my phone at her and she shook her head. “Some of us can behave.”

Just not the diner men.

And clearly some of them had been candle shopping recently.

Hmm.

They knew none of this stuff could go up their asses, right?