Page 53 of Ctrl+Alt Submit

AARYN

T here are only a few days to go before the make-or-break weekend for Finn’s. I’m really thinking my idea might have to go back on the shelf unadministered.

But as soon as Errol walks in, I see it in his face. I play dumb anyway. “How’d it go today?” I ask in a regular, nonchalant tone.

“Didn’t make it,” he mumbles.

I walk up to him, giving him a soft, sensual kiss before catching his lower lip between my teeth until he lets out a whimper. “Get yourself settled, then come meet me in the playroom.” I turn and walk away without waiting for a response.

I’m on the bed, holding the notebook where Errol wrote down his wish list. I re-read what I jotted down when the idea first came to me. It flew into my head without announcing itself and I immediately knewthat I had to do it.

I hear a clink and look up to see Errol in the doorway, unbuckling his belt. “No,” I say quietly.

His head snaps up, apprehension and puzzlement chasing themselves across his face. “I don’t…” he falters as his words trail off.

“Put your belt back on and come here.” I stand up as I beckon him.

Questions are swirling in his eyes, but he obeys.

“Look at me,” I tell him, my voice deliberately neutral.

“You know I love you, right? More than anything.” I run a finger lightly down his cheek as alarm rises in his eyes. “Right?” I prod him.

“Yeah, yes,” he says quickly.

I take him by the elbow and steer him in front of the full-length mirror. “Here.” I put the notebook in his hand.

“What’s this?”

“Read this.”

He looks down. His expression shifts from puzzlement to a sneer. “Ha-ha.” Rolling his eyes, he turns as if to walk around me and out of the room. One arm extends as he tosses the notebook onto the bed.

I catch his wrist in my hand. “What?” he asks, looking surprised.

“That’s what I want to know. What gives?” I give him a look that’s not not a glare, and he blanches. I release his hand. “Pick it back up,” I say sharply, nodding towards the notebook. “You’re going to read that —out loud — in front of the mirror.”

His eyes go dark, and his face twists into a scowl. Holy shit. I’ve never seen Errol angry at me before. “What the hell —what are you trying to do?” he sputters. “Why are you fucking with me?”

He spins like he’s trying to dart around me.

Picking up the notebook, I quickly step between him and the door.

“You think this is funny?” he snaps — snaps — at me.

“Is this just a joke to you? Am I just a joke to you?” He can’t hide the tears sparkling in his eyes.

But there’s also something in his voice that’s close enough to fury to scare the hell out of me.

Errol moves forward swiftly, stepping into my space —into me , bumping his chest into mine hard enough to knock me off balance. I’m too shocked to do anything but trip backwards, making a grab at the wall to keep from falling.

“You don’t fucking know what you’re talking about!” He chokes out the words. “You don’t fucking know me .”

“That’s not true! I’m the only one who really knows you, who’s known you for years.”

“Those years don’t count,” he fires back, his voice raw. “You’d forgotten I existed.”

The words are like a punch to the gut. “I never forgot you.” I feel like all the air’s been knocked out of my lungs. “But you’re right — I was a shitty friend. I didn’t stay in touch. I’m so sorry for that.”

“It doesn’t matter —that’s not the fucking point! The point is you. Don’t. Know. Me.” He punctuates each word with the hard jab of a finger against my sternum before he turns and storms out, footsteps clattering down the stairs.

My shaking legs go limp. I slide down the wall until my ass hits the floor, still clutching the notebook. I’m trying to focus on the page, but the lines blur as my eyes fill with tears. I pull my knees up and prop my arms onto them. My chest aching, I drop my head between them and sob.